


how to flirt (without really trying)

by neverthecanonOTP



Category: Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: College AU, F/M, It's called a trashCAN not a trash-cannot, lenghty discussions of sex, these are college kids so pls mind that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 66,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27958313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverthecanonOTP/pseuds/neverthecanonOTP
Summary: Mare Barrow wanted to do something nice to save her failing relationship. Might as well have shot it in the face.Or: Cal was tired of girls trying to seduce him... until he met Mare.
Relationships: Mare Barrow/Tiberias "Cal" Calore VII
Comments: 280
Kudos: 213





	1. Syllabus

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. Don't judge me.  
> If the college or football technicalities seem off to you, it's because I have no idea how those two work in North America. Just imagine this is how it works in Norta and carry on.

“Good Thursday everyone! It’s 7.30 am, it’s 70° degrees this beautiful morning, with an 80% chance of rain during the next couple of hours and a nice increase in temperature by noon. Bring your umbrella or get to your evening classes wet. Your choice.

In this morning’s news, Dean Arven once again refuses the student’s board petition for used books fairs arguing it would be an unregulated commercial activity. And if you were hoping for the good news next, well, keep hoping fellas! Because the Silver Eagles lost in a crushing last-minute defeat against Rift’s college Vipers yesterday. Will a failed play cost us the season? We’ll discuss it with our sports expert commentator, Kilorn Warren. And before I leave you with our political affairs specialist and absolute beauty- _ouch!_ \- Diana Farley, lemme say: Harbor U, says hello to you! All yours, Farley.” 

“Thanks, Shade. Good morning people, though there’s nothing good about the way our rights as students got crushed in yesterday’s assembly-“ 

Mare silenced her phone’s radio-alarm and in a zombie-like state, she flung her legs over the edge of the bed, if she allowed herself a millisecond of hesitation, she would simply sleep the rest of the morning like she usually did. She padded to her closet, grabbing her toiletry bag and towel. 

Her roommate, Ada, lifted her eyebrows surprised, from her bed across the room. They weren’t in finals season yet, so it was an oddity to see Mare up so early. 

Where was Mare heading so early? Was it the library? Was it a study group? None of that. 

She was going to _The Masked Cat_. AKA a specialized shop for adult activities. AKA a sex shop. The manager there was a friend from her calc class and was doing her the favor of opening earlier exclusively for her and letting her purchase whatever she wanted with the employee discount. Though, more than a favor, it was her way of paying back that time Mare had let her copy the answers during a pop quiz. 

Waking up early, having to take the bus all the way to the other side of Harbor Bay, spending money in a sex shop, all because she was too proud to let her boyfriend defeat her in their latest argument. 

_Boyfriend_ , the word felt wrong in her mouth. She liked Eli, he was handsome enough and mostly decent. But if she really started to think about it, she came dangerously close to the conclusion that she’d agreed to the relationship just because it meant she was off the market and it shut down unwanted suitors fast. And they had great sex, so that was a plus. 

Eli, however, seemed to disagree. 

Yesterday, at the post-game party (it’d had more of a funeral vibe) drinking beer with their friends, having fun, until Kilorn had made a joke about her being the one with the pants in the relationship. Eli could’ve just let it go, but instead, he had to double down and open his big mouth. “A relationship is 50/50. She bosses me around and that’s it.” The group had laughed and she would have too if she hadn’t sensed the underlying resentment in his tone. 

After they had left the party, as they walked through the dark campus, she’d asked him for an explanation. 

“It was a joke, Mare. Chill.” He shrugged. 

She insisted until he finally broke. “See? This is what I meant. You’re always doing whatever you want, never what I want.” 

“We just went to that stupid game because _you_ wanted to,” she pointed out indignantly. 

“I mean... yes. But that’s not what I’m talking about.” He started to fidget with the zip of his hoodie. The glow of the streetlamps turned his curly hair orange and made him look like a clown. “I mean in other aspects.” 

“Oh, just spit it.” 

“A man needs to feel like a man sometimes, baby.” ugh she hated when he called her that. “And you would rather die than relinquish some of your... dominance.” 

It dawned on her he was talking about her in bed. He’d never voiced this problem in their 5 months together. And was it really a problem? Since when liking being on top was an attack on his masculinity? 

Being nineteen and all, this was her first serious relationship, she wasn’t sure how was she supposed to react. 

“That’s not true,” it was kind of true. Her stomach churned uncomfortably. “I let you lead a lot— well, a few times... You have led at least once!” 

“No. You are always in charge,” he said with what felt like resignation. “Like I said, you’re too stuck in your ways to trust me, and honestly, it hurts.” 

“I’m not!” 

“Yes, you are,” he laughed and pulled her to his side, kissing her on the cheek. “But it’s ok. I endure you just fine.” 

Mare had gone to bed that night feeling guilty, uncomfortable, and most of all pissed off. The cherry on top. Then, before she fell asleep, inspiration struck her. She would prove to Eli how versatile she could be. She would make him swallow his words. 

~🏈~

The campus extended over a mile alongside the Regent River with its chaotic mixture of fancy neoclassical architecture and more modern sleek structures that resembled fish tanks. In fact, being an electrical engineer major, most of her classes were held at a building students affectionally called the fishbowl, for the glass structure was flat and circular. Steep and twisted streets connected the campus like arteries that were a nightmare for freshmen to navigate without getting lost, but Mare had gotten the hang of it pretty quickly. 

Making good use of that ingrained GPS she chose the less-traveled streets and alleys to get back to her dorm room after making her purchases at The Masked Cat. The brown paper bag was pretty inconspicuous, it only had a tiny logo in a corner, but she dreaded the idea of running into someone she knew. More specifically, Shade or Kilorn. Why on earth had she chosen the same college as her brother? She was an idiot. 

Every time she had hooked up with a guy during her freshman year, Shade _had happened to be_ at the same party, approaching the poor victim and asking him his name, address, and criminal record, playing protective brother. Only to mess with her, she was sure. Yet another reason to be with Eli. 

And Kilorn was Kilorn so... yeah, she was not going to let him see where she’d been. 

The sight of the plain two-story brick building of her residence relieved the tension in her muscles. The exterior was covered in graffiti to signal to the world that this was the ‘inclusive’ part of campus. The artistic kind of graffiti, mind you, the one made by art majors and authorized by the Dean. This was still the prestigious Harbor Bay University after all. 

All that sneaking around campus only to open the door to her room to find, lounging like a queen on top of her desk... 

“Evangeline,” Mare grunted, kicking the door closed behind her. “What are you doing here?” 

The girl in question had been checking her black nail polish. “Do you have to be so repetitive?” she asked twisting her mouth in a bored sneer. “You know I’m here for Ada, Charity.” _Charity_ , as in charity case because Mare had a scholarship, funny. 

“What is it this time?” she was subtly making her way toward her closet, hiding the bag behind her back. “Origami 101? Being a bitch advanced level?” 

The unusual friendship between Evangeline and Ada was rooted in the fact that they were both Undeclared. Ada because her hunger for knowledge was too great. Evangeline because she was a conceited princess who didn’t care about the price of tuition or any of those unfashionable subjects. After coinciding in several classes they’d turned into friends, or at least they studied together. 

Mare had to endure her in a physics class for half a semester and that’s how they had met. The dislike was mutual. 

She was closing the closet door. 

“French History.” Evangeline finally lifted her bored gaze from her nails, her eyes opened like a cat finding a shiny new toy. _Fuck_. “My oh my!” she practically jumped from the desk and on the two beds to get to the bag before she could stash it away. 

“Don’t!” But the bag was no longer in her hands. 

The Samos girl was so much taller than her, Mare didn’t even try to get the bag back from her raised arms as she inspected it as if it were Indiana Jones’ crystal skull or something. 

“And I thought you were boring,” she smirked like a devil. 

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. Running into Shade would’ve been better. “Give it back, Evangeline.” She extended her hand demandingly. 

“First let’s see what you got,” without further ceremony, she emptied the bag's contents all over Mare’s bed and inspected them with a clinical gaze. God, she should get a professional nosy major; she would graduate with honors. 

Evangeline raised her eyebrows impressed, and nodded approvingly. That was unexpected. “Well done, Charity. I’m almost proud of you for making that pasty boyfriend of yours wear this.” 

Mare started to shove the contents back in the paper bag. “I’m going to be the one wearing it,” she muttered annoyed. 

“Yeah, right,” Eve scoffed dismissively. The lack of reply erased the smirk from her face and she turned to Mare with an appalled expression. “Wait. You’re serious? For _him_?” 

This change in her reaction made Mare felt silly somehow. She straightened her back and her resolve. “Yes. For my boyfriend.” 

“Mare, that boy exudes limp dick energy.” Was Evangeline Samos truly worried about her sex life? That was a new one. “He won’t even know what to do with all these goodies.” She gestured to the bag. 

She felt torn between laughing and shoving a sock inside her mouth to shut her up. 

“You don’t even like men, how would you know?” she defended Eli (poorly) as she pushed the bag to the back of her closet, then she whirled around and folded her arms. “Besides, I’m trying to prove a point to him.” 

“What point is that? Never getting an orgasm ever again is good for a relationship, actually?” 

Mare grabbed her backpack from the hanger by the door. She would not stay in this room and have her life choices questioned. “No, it’s business.” 

“Business?” 

“ _None of your business_ , that’s what. Goodbye.” 

~🏈~

The rest of the day, Mare tried her hardest to ignore the jabs. That girl would say anything to mess with her. And yet, those words kept echoing in her ears. 

As the teacher drew systems on the board during her Technical drawing course, the woman suddenly grew a platinum blond braid and lost 30 years, morphing into Evangeline. The Evangeline mirage made the chalk screech against the blackboard as she wrote _‘Your boyfriend is a little bitch’_ and then gave her an insufferable condolent look. 

“All that for a guy who doesn’t even like to go down,” she clicked her tongue. 

_It’s not that he doesn’t like it! It’s that he isn’t good at it... But he’s great at other stuff!_ Mare’s mental gymnastics didn’t leave her in a good spot. 

With perfect aim, the evil mirage threw the piece of chalk to the center of her forehead. Mare startled awake, the spiral wire of her notebook branded across her cheek. Shit, this waking up early thing was not for her. 

~🏈~ 

Powered by spite like one of those old wind-up toys she marched to Eli’s new residence. Now not only did she have to prove him wrong, but she also had to disprove Evangeline’s offensive claims. Two birds with one stone. She’d never felt more motivated. 

His new residence was on the prettiest side of campus, a beautiful Victorian-style manor covered with ivy and inhabited by the worst scum of the earth: trust-fund douchebags. Eli had yet to explain how he had managed to upgrade his accommodations so drastically. 

Hitze Manor was famous for three things: wild parties, scandals, and fuckboys. 

She knocked on the door and a guy wearing sunglasses greeted her, even though it was nighttime and he was indoors. 

“Hi. Room 12 B?” she cut to the chase. 

Sunglasses guy laughed dumbly, probably high as fuck, and stepped aside to let her in. But honestly, who was she to judge him? She’d had a shot of liquid courage before coming here. Ok, more like 3 shots... 4 shots. 

“12 B?” she impatiently tugged on her backpack straps. “Do you know where it is?” 

“A room,” he repeated pensively. “The beautiful stranger was looking for a room to escape the dragons that surrounded the mountains.” He looked to a chandelier in the sitting room next to the foyer, waving his hand theatrically. 

“Dude.” 

“Right. Same as always, doll.” His tone lost the dreamy flair. “Up the stairs, first left then right. End of the hallway, next to the bay window.” 

“Thanks.” 

He tried to touch her hair and she recoiled, evading him as he started to ramble on about the dragons' story again. “ _Jesus_ ,” she sighed as she went up the stairs. 

She reached the door the guy had indicated, marked with a brass number 12. Locked, she realized upon trying to turn the doorknob. 

She bounced on her feet for a few seconds of hesitation. This was her excuse to leave with her pride intact, but Mare was no coward. Deciding that waiting in the hallway for him to get here from his night classes would ruin the surprise factor, she opened the bay window and poked half of her body out into the fresh night air. 

There was the window to Eli’s room, adjacent to this one. She only had to use the wall-mounted trellis to traverse the side of the building; 10 feet or so that separated her from victory. 

“ _Eli you better make this worth it, motherfucker,_ ” Mare muttered nervously, rolling up her oversized hoodie sleeves. 

She held on to the trellis, pushed one leg out and then the other. The wooden structure was solid as she moved sideways but the ivy leaves made it slippery. Her right foot slipped and she almost died of a heart attack. Only then did she think to look down and the fall was way higher than she had anticipated. 

Al least those bushes down there looked soft; her stomach churned with nausea. She was regretting those tequila shots. She reached the ledge to the window and lifted it open. She crawled inside and tumbled over the floor ungracefully. 

Breathing heavily, she allowed herself a minute to let her eyes adjust to the darkness and for the room to stop spinning. Eli would be here any minute so she had come mostly prepared. Standing up, she yanked her hoodie and took her jeans off, standing in the shadows, in the sexiest piece of lingerie she’d ever owned. A mostly sheer black embroidered corset, matching black panties, and fishnets. 

She struggled to put on the high heels and even more to walk around as she set the finishing touches. Fine, her opinion about the tequila had changed for the third time that night. Now she was grateful for the buzz in her ears and the lack of higher cognitive skills, otherwise, she would feel stupid as fuck for what she was doing. 

Mare placed the muzzle, whip, and other ‘goodies’, as Evangeline had called them, at the edge of the king-sized bed. Damn, Eli had hit the jackpot with this room. Her heart was drumming wildly in her chest by the time she pulled the last two items from her backpack: a blindfold and handcuffs. 

“ _Ok, there’s a first time for everything, grow some ovaries,_ ” she talked herself through it as she kneeled at the center of the bed, released her hair from the ponytail, and tussled it a little. “ _Fuck, fuckity, fuck-_ ” she cursed like a sailor to get rid of some of the tension. 

Faint footsteps in the hall announced to her someone was approaching. With a lamenting whine, and regretting every second of this decision, she tugged the blindfold down over her eyes, and placing her hands behind her back, clicked the handcuffs shut around her wrists just as Eli turned the key. 

~🏈~🏈~ 

It was so easy for people to love you when you were at the top, but when it really mattered, when you were at your lowest, that same people would spit you in the eye. 

Cal was having the worst day he could possibly remember in the last year, all because he had chosen the wrong play in the last minutes of yesterday’s game. He’d hungered for more, for glory, instead of settling for a tie he’s chosen to try to make one last play that had backfired spectacularly. The ball had been stolen from him, way before he reached the endzone and the Rift Vipers had turned the tables and scored a touchdown. 

“...Should’ve kicked, man,” Kilorn Warren was doing a comprehensive analysis of the game. Cal listened to this radio show regularly even if it was obvious the dude did not like him one bit. Warren was always questioning his plays, and this time he was right. “Like, how many games do we have left in the season?” 

“Three,” Shade replied. 

“Three! Exactly! He let his ego in the way and now we need three consecutive wins and New Town’s college to lose next week in their game. Which, let’s be realistic, is kinda wishing for pigs to fly at this point. They have that Cole kid that runs like a freaking cheetah. And what do we have?” 

“I don’t know, Kilorn. What do we have?” 

“Nepotism and Tiberias Calore the 69th. Oh wait, those two are the same thing.” The radio hosts cackled and started taking calls. 

After the third one bashing him, Cal switched the radio for music as he finished the last mile of his morning run. It was one thing to want to hear constructive criticism, and another to be a masochist. 

The rest of the day didn’t improve. From snide comments that seemed to come from nowhere, furious scowls, to professor Iral halting a whole-ass 200-students class to tell him. 

“You might as well take the extra credits assignments, Calore.” Her chilly look was one of disappointment. “We are not making it to the finals anyway.” 

He’d wanted to rip his face off and throw it in the garbage to avoid being recognized. Instead, he had buried his face in books in the darkest corner of the library. 

He’d facetimed Maven, but besides some consoling words about good things being yet to come, his brother couldn’t do much for him. 

No, he would have to climb out of the pit of misery all by himself. 

By the time he finally decided to go back to his dorm room, he got a text from his father. Just two words like a bucket of freezing water, 

«Do better» 

_Gee, thanks, dad_. Not an _‘I still love you’_ or _‘I’m still proud of you’_. Fucking fantastic. 

He dragged his feet to his door, already planning on sleeping less and training earlier, longer, and harder. But when he went into his room and flipped on the lights, he stopped in his tracks and his eyes nearly shot out of their sockets. 

There was a girl in the bedroom. 

He blinked and rubbed his eyes. 

Yeah, there was a gorgeous, blindfolded, wrapped-up-in-sexy-lingerie-like-a-birthday-present, kneeling brunette on top of his bed. What the fuck? 

Women doing crazy shit to gain his attention, that he was used to. Showing up to his practices, breaking into the locker-room, random pieces of paper with phone numbers tucked in his books when he returned to them in the library after going to get coffee or something. During parties at the manor, girls had snuck into his room in the past and waited for him with generous proposals. But those had been during parties where people were literally having sex in the hallways, so everything was fair game. 

This was on another level of crazy. 

He’d turned down every single one of those. That’s not the kind of man he wanted to be. Not to say he was against hookups, but at least until he... well, he wasn’t into it at the moment. And this time would be no exception, no matter how much effort the poor girl had put into this. 

“Look, I-” His tired speech was interrupted. 

“Wait, let me speak first!” she said with a firm tone despite the way the rapid rise and fall of her bosom betrayed her nerves. “I thought about yesterday a lot, as I’m sure you have. And I get what you were trying to do. I _really do_.” She did? Ok. “Sometimes we get so stuck up on the way things have been, we get comfortable and I guess that’s what’s been happening lately.” She smiled and fuck what a pretty smile she had. “We have to try new things if we want better results. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, and _that’s fine_. We’ll just try something different. Anyway,” she licked her lips and Cal’s lower abdomen muscles tightened. “What I mean to say is, I’m here.” 

Was it stupid he felt like hugging her right now? This was not only the first nice thing he’d heard all day, it was as if she’d put a balm over his soul. He had wanted to leave an easy road for the team to make it to the finals and it had backfired. And here was this beautiful girl, offering him understanding... and also her body. 

Uh... he scratched his head. The sex toys were throwing him for a loop. Were they supposed to make him release more pent-up frustrations? That was a little messed up. 

His knees hit the edge of the bed. He’d been walking closer without even realizing it. 

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” She demanded. 

His voice came out hoarse, “It’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.” 

The girl smirked and proudly lifted her chin. “I knew it.” 

Cal laughed softly, staring at her like he couldn’t believe it, because he couldn’t. Maybe he was hallucinating. He sat down in front of her, transfixed on her face, partially hidden behind a black blindfold. Running the tip of his fingers over her brow, he pushed a stray strand of soft wavy hair behind her ear and she shivered. 

“I was freaking out before you showed up,” she said keeping her tone light. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to laugh at me.” 

Her honesty was disarming. He scooted closer, the side of his thigh touching her knees. His blood was warming up by the second, and every breath she took made his ache increase. 

“Laugh at you?” He ran his thumb over her high cheekbone and down to her chin. “You’re so brave. I could never mock that.” 

She leaned into his touch like a purring cat. 

_You know what? Maybe she is the one_. With that in mind, he dipped his head, closing the distance that separated him from her perfect pink lips. 

~🏈~🏈~ 

“Can I kiss you?” he rasped less than an inch away. 

_Nah, I’m here so we can play Monopoly. What do you think?_ Mare was so aroused, the snarky remark died way before she could say it. 

“Yes,” she sighed and Eli pressed his lips to hers. 

He peppered soft, prolonged kisses all over her lips, like he was exploring her for the first time, as he cupped her face with a calloused hand and ran the other along her jaw, her neck, her arm, down and up. Goosebumps covered her flesh as she restrained herself from taking the lead, as she always did. No, this Eli was new to her. Had he ever been this curious? This was painfully good. 

A ridiculous whine betrayed her need when Eli licked her lips, asking for permission. _Finally_ , she couldn’t part her lips fast enough. And boy, oh boy had Evangeline been wrong. This whole circus had been so worth it. He had _never_ kissed her like this; even his mouth felt different, better. 

Her skin was on fire and tight and desperate. _Since when is he so patient?_ She started to rub her thighs together. 

He cupped her face with both hands as he tilted her head to get a better angle to deepen the slow, maddening exploration of her mouth. She raised herself on her knees and tried to angle her body, frustrated by the iron digging at her wrists and forbidding her from ripping his clothes off. 

Biting his lip, she drew a low moan out of him and she felt herself drip liquid pleasure. He wove his fingers at the nape of her head and palmed her breast over the corset and she couldn’t take all this teasing anymore. 

“Eli,” she whined in complain against his mouth. He went stiff as a board. 

“What did you say?” he asked out of breath and leaned away from her, his body heat abandoning her. 

“Eli, stop playing and get back here.” _Fine_ , she broke out of the submissive role but he was killing her. So much for letting him have control. “What’s wrong?” she blindly started to lean forward, searching for his body with slightly puckered lips. He stopped her, grabbing her by the shoulder, and tugged the blindfold off. 

Her eyes opened like saucers. 

_No way._

Where blue eyes and a cute freckled round face should’ve been, there were bronze eyes in an absurdly handsome square face. 

Cal Calore. The Silver Eagles quarterback, Harbor Bay Uni’s resident heartthrob, and most importantly: _abso-fucking-lutely NOT her boyfriend._


	2. Lesson 1: Don't be afraid to fall (not on your ass though)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I read all of your comments about getting second-hand embarrassment, my first thought was: Good, now how do I make them suffer more? I have ideas😈

It was too surreal and too good to be true, Cal reflected even as he still couldn’t understand _how_ is it that he’d fucked up. He knew that he had though, every cell in his body understood that as the beautiful mysterious girl looked at him with abject surprise, then horror. 

The sharp ends of six-inches heels landed in the middle of his chest in a formidable kick that sent him flying backward, landing on his back with a heavy thump. The air left his lungs in a wheeze. 

Curses, the ruffle of the covers, and a second _THUMP_ on the other side of the bed, the girl was on the move. Feeling like he’d been stabbed he pressed a hand over the place where she kicked him and managed to stand up, grunting. 

“You stay away from me!” she staggered back, her knees wobbling like Bambi learning how to walk. A very murderous Bambi. 

He rubbed the painful spot in his chest and lifted a palm. “I swear I didn’t mean to force myself on you.” 

She was moving from side to side at the opposite side of the bed, her eyes darting to the floor and back to him, looking for something. 

“Then don’t go into random rooms and start making out with strangers!” She crouched down to look under the bed and tripped before managing to catch herself. “Where are those fucking keys?!” 

“Does this look like a random guy’s room?” He was freaking out just as much as she was, afraid to even take a step and risk her axe-kicking him in the jaw. 

Her wild brown eyes ran a quick scan of the room and she sunk deeper into despair. Framed autographed shirts from football legends, trophies, obscure military history books, miniature plane models on a shelf, there was no way this room could be anyone else's. 

The girl’s eyebrows comically lowered as she pouted, as if she was in physical pain from the mistake she’d made. 

“Room 12 B?” 

He ignored the pang of painful disappointment in his gut. 

“That would be in the east wing, sorry.” He slowly started picking up her things from the bed and the floor. The sooner she was out of here, the sooner they could forget she’d been here at all. “This is 12 A.” 

“And you just fuck any girl that shows up at your door?” good to see she found something else to be angry at him about. “You didn’t even say who you were,” she narrowed her eyes at him. 

“To be fair, you’re not the first who’s showed up to my bed uninvited.” _Don’t think about the dildo you’re picking up, don’t think about it._

Her eyes dropped to his hands and she blushed scarlet. 

“Drop that and help me look for the keys for these damned things!” 

“Ok, ok!” 

“Inside my backpack, quickly!” 

Cal dove for the bag under the windowsill and emptied it on the floor, shaking it until he was sure it was completely empty, pushed by her insistent orders. _‘Look here, there, the other pocket!’_ as she grew more and more frantic. A shared sentiment. 

“You just had to assume I was here for you, didn’t you, Calore?” she snapped. “Every woman on campus is dying for you to stick it in them.” 

“The hell?!” He looked at her like she was a crazy person. “Are you slut-shaming them or me?” 

“You!” Without the use of her hands, she jerked her head forward and strands of her hair fell over her face as she hyperventilated and started sputtering “Shit, I didn’t mean that. But guys like you are always taking and taking and taking, you don’t give a shit about who or where...” 

God, where was that key? He started the sweat when he realized there was no key to be found. Facing her to break the news was worse than informing bad news to the Hulk. 

“Please stop.” 

“And now I’m a cheater in the first real relationship I’ve ever been in...” 

“PLEASE STOP.” He raised his voice, his nerves shattering like the glass of a fire alarm. 

“My parents were high school sweethearts! And now my record is tainted because you felt like adding me to your mile-long list of conq-!” 

“I WASN’T GOING TO FUCK YOU- I'M A VIRGIN!” 

~📚~📚~ 

If he was trying to silence her, _that_ silenced her alright. Standing 5 feet away from him, adult toys and textbooks between them, she stared at him with her jaw at her feet. 

Mare bit her lips and convulsed trying to repress her laughter. Of all the bullshit he could've said, he chose the most blatant lie. But seriously, Cal Calore, that piece of man, a virgin after his almost four years of college? Did he think her a moron? She erupted in uproarious laughter that had her stomach aching and tears gathering at her eyes. 

Hands placed on his hips and a stoic expression, Cal locked his eyes to a point behind her, as if silently enduring her mock. _Oh shit, he was not lying._

Mare paled. 

“I’m not virgin shaming you,” she blurted out. “I thought you were—doesn’t matter. Did you find the key?” 

“it’s not here.” 

A new wave of icy panic invaded her. She was in handcuffs, in the same building as her boyfriend, in another man’s room. “You have to help me get out of this.” 

“Let me take a look at them.” He took a hesitant step forward. “Don’t kick me.” 

“Don’t do anything kick-worthy and I won’t,” she hissed, although she did turn around to let him see the problem. 

When his fingers came into contact with the skin of her wrists, a thrill ran through her body. _Don’t even think about it, Mare._

He pulled on the chain in opposite directions. Mare heard footsteps at the end of the hall. 

“Hurry up!” 

“I know what to do, trust me on this.” His voice was calm. “I need you to bend over the bed.” 

Mare angled her neck to glare at him, “WHAT?” 

Despite his calm tone, he looked miserable, sweating like a man walking to the noose. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.” 

“Ugh fine.” 

She let him guide her to the bed and when he pushed down on her shoulder to make her kneel, her stomach did a flip. She kneeled and lowered her torso onto the mattress, leaving all of her vulnerable parts for the world to see. Cal kneeled behind her, one knee between hers, and braced his elbow on the mattress for leverage, grabbed one of the metal rings and the chain. His body barely hovered over hers but his body heat enveloped her like a sauna. A misplaced jolt of excitement sparked between her thighs. _This is not that, you slut._

With the side of her face pressed to the sheets she saw Cal’s arm muscles bulge and strain as he pulled and then a metallic breaking sound. Mare gasped as he straightened up without moving from his place behind her. 

She shot him a disbelieving look over her shoulder. “Did you just break the handcuffs?” 

_Fuck, that was hot._

“Were they expensive? I’ll buy you new ones,” he replied sheepishly. 

The door swung open. “Hey man I got your…” There was a tall, menacing-looking guy with platinum blond hair that seemed awfully familiar. 

She realized how this looked to him, with her bent over the bed, Cal holding her wrists and kneeling behind her. Not great. 

If he was shocked, the only thing that betrayed it was that he froze in place for a beat, then he said in a monotonous tone. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” And closed the door. 

This couldn’t get more horribly embarrassing. She pushed him, pushed herself from the bed, and started taking off the stupid heels, sitting on the floor trying not to have a breakdown. 

“Ptolemus won’t say anything, I promise. Besides we weren’t actually doing anything.” He tried to help, as he scrambled to gather her things and put them back inside her bag. 

She needed to leave now, or else the palpitations she was having would turn into a freaking stroke. 

Mare Barrow, beloved daughter, irritating sister, and terrible girlfriend. Died at age 19 of humiliation. 

“it’s alright,” she kept repeating in a high-pitched voice, putting the jeans, hoodie, and sneakers back on. “This is fine.” 

Cal extended her backpack to her and she took it. 

“I’m so sorry about this.” He grimaced. “It was all a big misunderstanding.” 

_Getting out_ was the only thought on her mind. 

“No, no, no.” Her effort to look chill wasn’t paying off at all as she backed away to the window. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

“Whoa, what are you-?!” 

But she was already out the window, climbing down the trellis like an inmate on meth breaking out of Alcatraz. She only made it halfway before her foot slipped for real this time. And down she went. 

Branches breaking, tiny leaves flying, she landed on the bushes mostly unscathed. _Why didn’t God just spit on her face if he hated her this much?_

Cal poked his head out of the window, consternation etched all over his handsome features. “Are you OK?! I’m going down there don’t move!” 

Adrenaline kicked in as she rolled and fell onto the grass and got up with dizzying speed. “Don’t! I’m perfectly fine, see? I wasn’t here tonight.” With that last order, she scurried away through the garden and jumping the low brick wall, she got lost in the night. 

~📚~📚~ 

He couldn’t have been more bewildered if his stepmother had hugged him and told him she loved him. This was, beyond a shadow of doubt his most bizarre experience; the real college experience. He found that he didn’t mind it all that much. 

Sitting on the windowsill, absentmindedly rubbing the point where he’d been kicked, he chuckled. And maybe he was a horrible man for laughing, but everything about it had been a train wreck. She had an embarrassing secret of his and he had one in return. 

A flash of white attracted his attention under the bed. He laid flat on his stomach to retrieve it. I was a physics textbook, an old edition with worn margins and a broken spine. Opening it on the first page, he found a row of three crossed out names and a fourth one that wasn’t. Written with messy, all-caps handwriting. 

IF LOST RETURN TO MARE M. BARROW. 

He smiled stupidly at the name and the phone number next to it. So, it seemed they were to meet again. 

~📚~📚~ 

“I take it, it didn’t go well if you slept in your bed instead of his,” Evangeline purred making herself comfortable on her bed, sitting next to where Mare laid cocooned in a blanket. 

As if the blanket could keep away every cursed memory from last night and the sting of humiliation. 

Mare opened a little hole to glare at her. “You again?” 

“I’m just waiting for Ada to finish her make-up. Thought I could wake you up to see you wallow in misery.” She smiled with those pearly sharp teeth, savoring the negative energy flowing from her. “You look sexually frustrated. I’ll take that as a _‘You were right._ ’” She bopped her nose and laughed. 

Oh, how she hated this girl. Anger bubbled inside of her and her pride demanded to be avenged. For a short while, Evangeline _had_ been wrong, and she would be stupid not to use it to defend herself. 

“He was great, actually.” Never mind she was talking about someone other than her boyfriend. _Semantics_. “Excellent at what he did. I never experienced anything like it and I bet you are dying to know now. Well, die. We just had to cut it short because of exterior factors that had nothing to do with him.” Namely, her going all Karate Kid on his ass. 

Evangeline tapped a claw on her chin, searching her face for a lie. She didn’t find it. 

“I’m ready, Eve.” Ada rose from her desk, where numerous make-up products were scattered. “Stop torturing Mare.” 

“She’s no fun anyway.” Evangeline heaved a sigh, going over to get her Gucci bag from Ada’s bed. “Oh, by the way.” She rummaged through it. “Yesterday I found this in my bag. I hope you didn’t like- need it or anything.” She flung the object in an arc in the air and took the chance to saunter to the door with Ada right behind her. 

The object landed on the pillow right in front of her face.

The keys! _That bitch!_

Mare scrambled to jump to the door and shout a long string of curses to Evangeline’s retreating form through the busy hallway. 

~📚~

If Mare hadn’t been such a juvenile delinquent back home in The Stilts, she would've slept with an uncomfortable pair of bracelets thanks to Evangeline’s machinations. Thankfully, she had been on the wrong side of the tracks once and knew how to release handcuffs with a bobby pin. _Are you proud now, mom?_

Pride was the last thing she felt that day, though. At every turn, the sight of a Silver Eagles hoodie, a hat, or even a poster would remind her of burning bronze eyes and jet-black hair. A good girl would facepalm and be consumed in guilt. Apparently, Mare was the opposite of that, the worst of the worst: an unrepentant cheater. 

She wanted to feel guilty, she scavenged her mind searching for a shred of guilt amidst the embarrassment for her mistake, or her annoyance at every factor that had led up to it. But when it came to the _Moment_ (capital M) in question, she felt everything but guilt. She even felt guilty about not feeling guilty. 

Whenever her mind found a free gap, her memory would bring forward with excruciating detail the sensation of Cal’s hands and his mouth and his tongue. The intensity of it, his manly fragrance, his husky voice, consuming her like a raging fire. It made no sense she hadn’t identified those didn’t belong to Eli. Maybe it had been the four tequila shots’ fault. Those traitorous bastards. 

She found herself biting her lip and crossing her legs tightly during boring seminars when the flashbacks got so vivid, she almost wanted to moan. And he was a virgin? Nothing wrong with it, but she didn’t understand how. How could he kiss and tease like that if he had never...? Virginity was a broad term. Just because he hadn’t danced the devil’s tango with someone, it didn’t mean he hadn’t been _practicing_ other things. 

Her body’s reactions to her musings about Cal’s abilities warned her it was time to stop unless she wanted to walk around with the _moist_ evidence of what type of fantasies she’d been entertaining. 

When she left her electronics lab and found Eli waiting for her in the hall she wanted to cry with relief. She’d never been so happy to see his freckled face. 

She flew down the stairs and tugged on his T-shirt collar to pull him down in an enthusiastic kiss. 

“Wow,” he smiled, pulling away from her. “Missed me?” 

“Maybe.” Not really. “You came to apologize for the other day?” 

Eli squinted his eyes, trying to remember what she was talking about. “You mean you going psycho on me?” He joked, rubbing his hands over her waist. 

“I was trying to get us to have a conversation,” she said, with the strange feeling that he didn’t even see how what they’d discussed might have affected her. “Not to attack you.” 

“C’mon, you overreacted a little, admit that.” He smiled again and pulled her close to kiss her temple. The topic was slipping through her fingers again. 

“Yeah, but even if I did overreact, we have to talk about-“ _about you resenting our sex life_ , and apparently also the way she reacted to things in general. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, baby. I forgive you. I don’t even remember what the discussion was about,” he reassured her. “The things I do for you, Mare. No one could tolerate you as I can,” he said in a sweet tone, so sweet Mare couldn’t pinpoint what part about everything he had just said was making her feel smaller than an ant crawling at this magnanimous feet. 

He kissed her deeply, but Mare’s mind was already walking to her next class, planning what to have for dinner. 

The path from the labs to The Fishbowl was particularly pretty this time of the year. The cobblestones were lined with benches and rows of cherry trees that showered the path with a fragrant shower of petals that would be crushed under the soles of feet, releasing their sweet scent to the air. 

Turns out, Eli had been in the labs building to talk to a professor in the adjacent hall, not to wait for her. So, she walked alone through the flowery path. This place she usually enjoyed so much wasn’t bringing her any joy. There was something wrong with her and if she only knew what it was, she could fix it. 

She was focusing so much on her feet she didn’t see the figure leaning against the last tree at the end of the path where it opened up to The Fishbowl’s courtyard. 

“Mare M. Barrow,” a voice deep and warm like melted black chocolate. 

Mare twisted to the right, to the origin of the noise. And there he was. Just what she needed to sour her mood even more. 

One of those ridiculous varsity jackets in the blue and black colors of the team was flung over his shoulder, his black T-shirt clinging to the abundant muscle beneath, and her physics book tucked under his free arm. A few petals had landed on his hair and made his gorgeous face look straight up otherworldly. _Asshole_. 

“If you’re here to gloat, have at it. It won’t end well for you.” Mare folded her arms over her chest and approached him. 

Instead of the pretentious smirk she was sure would follow, his face softened with a kind expression. “I wish there was something I could say to make you see you have nothing to be ashamed of. But, since you’re not a mind reader, I’ll settle for giving your book back.” 

She took it, some of her wariness drifting away in the breeze. 

An unknown number had texted her that morning, telling her they’d found her book, and Mare had agreed to meet the person here. It hadn’t occurred to her it would be him. 

“Thank you,” she shifted on her feet, looking for an excuse to talk to him and not finding any. “Well, see you around, I guess.” 

Before she could fully turn away from him, he blurted out. 

“Do you want to grab a coffee?” 

She really shouldn’t... 

“I’m having a shit day,” Mare took a step back. 

“You can tell me about it if you want,” Cal offered with a bright smile that rivaled a toothpaste commercial. 

_Shouldn’t_ , but her mouth itched to say yes. 

“I have a boyfriend,” another step back. She didn’t decline the invitation though. 

“I’m aware. You made it very clear last night,” he said rubbing his chest for some reason… oh, the kick, right. “You can say no if you don’t want to. I felt like explaining my behavior, but you have no obligation to hear it.” 

He must have practiced that last bit a ten times at least. It sounded practiced. 

“Did you hire a PR to make sure I won’t sue you for being a creep?” 

His wide shoulders sagged and he grabbed his backpack for the grass, pushing away from the tree. 

“That would imply I actually talked about this to someone, and I feel far too guilty for that.” He grimaced, cracking his knuckles. “The whole situation was way too Uhm... gray.” 

“Grey? It was two messy splatters of black, one on your record, one on mine.” Mare let out a short hysterical laugh, gesticulating between them with her free hand. “Yours for not bothering to clarify who you were, and mine for literally everything else!” 

Cal’s face twisted in a cringe but nodded in agreement. 

“So... coffee?” 

“Yes, please,” Mare gave in, instantly feeling better. 

~ 📚~

Cold-brew coffee without sugar for Mare. French vanilla cappuccino for Cal. 

Cal headed for one of the booths but Mare shook her head once in a cutting _‘No’_ , and explained in a hushed tone. “I’m not risking being seen around with you. I have a reputation.” He defeated the purpose of her subtle indication by laughing loudly, making heads turn in their direction. 

“Sure,” he said holding the door open with his elbow, letting her go first. “Because nothing says illicit affair like drinking coffee in a public place.” 

Mare gave him a pointed glare, then tilted her head to the side, motioning for him to follow. 

They slipped into a narrow alley between the coffee shop and one of the older administration buildings, it led to a dead end. There was a circular patio, forgotten by the world, where a single brass statue without a plaque to identify it stood in the center, overrun by weeds and ivy. 

“Who is that?” Cal asked taking a sip of his diabetes-in-a-cup. 

Mare shrugged and jumped to sit on the pedestal, her feet hanging over the ground. 

“Whoever he was, he must’ve been a piece of shit, otherwise they wouldn’t have hidden him by building a freaking coffee shop in front of him. Nobody comes here.” 

“Except you?” he lifted an eyebrow, entertained. 

“I have an affinity for sketchy people,” she said and patted the brass boot of the statue. 

Cal’s lips tugged upwards, his bronze eyes glinted golden in the kind evening sunlight. Her lungs felt too full until he lowered his gaze to his feet and only then was she capable of exhaling. 

Mare furrowed her brow slightly. _What was that?_

“Before I unloaded my speech on you yesterday,” she started when it became apparent he wouldn’t. “You were going to send me away, right?” 

“Yes.” He looked up again, earnestly. “I wasn’t bragging when I told you things like that- some girls taking it a bit too far with their advances -it has happened before. I feel flattered, but it does get exhausting after a while.” 

Mare put the straw in her mouth to avoid outright laughing about the last statement. _Woe is me! I’m too hot. I’m tired of the world going in slow motion every time I exit the pool!_ He did have a point, though. 

“Then why did you kiss me?” 

“I liked what you said about failure,” there was a vulnerability in his tone that was irresistible. “And I’d been having the worst day. And there’s the matter of-” he scratched his chin, looking away to admit with roguish smirk “- the way you looked.” 

He went further and said as if it was the most self-evident thing in the world. “You know you’re gorgeous.” 

_Fucking hell_. Her insides exploded like canons of glittery confetti. Mare rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself. 

“Whatever. I have one more question,” she said hesitantly. 

“I think I know about what,” he sighed in mock defeat. Walking closer, he leaned his side on the base, resting his elbow on top of it, looking up at her. Mare’s skin started tingling with the proximity. “But first answer this. Why all that? And what was your pep talk actually about?” 

“Is it my turn to talk about a shitty day?” she took a long sip of her coffee to stall, fixing her gaze on a weed growing between two cobblestones. There was no easy way to put it. “Apparently, my boyfriend hates our sex life. It makes him feel lesser of a man, it wounds him. Or I wound him,” she chewed on the straw uncomfortably. She was baring her soul to a stranger, who also happened to be a local celebrity. “And I don’t want to do that. So maybe I’m just an inherently fucked up person.” 

She risked a sidelong glance at him and found him looking intently at her. 

“If you’re willing to make such an effort to fix things,” he assured her, “I don’t think you’re bad at all. Especially if you love him.” 

She shuddered at the mention of _love_ as if she’d stepped barefoot on a toad. If Cal picked up on it, he didn’t mention it. 

“Thank you.” She felt the urgent need to make a joke to release the air of the energy that had bloomed between them. “Even if it means literally nothing when you’re the one saying it.” 

Cal shook his head, smirking, and finished his overly sugary drink. 

“And I’m sorry about your game. Don’t let assholes’ opinions get to you.” One of those being her best friend, Kilorn. “They’re not the ones getting head concussions-” she knocked her knuckles on her head and pointed at him- “and winning shiny trophies for Harbor Uni.” 

Mare hopped down from the pedestal, shook her empty cup, and popped the lid to chew on the remaining ice. 

Cal was giving her a funny look. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. I wish I could tell you I’m sorry about your relationship troubles, but I’m not.” 

Again with the freaking confetti canons inside of her stomach. 

Mare stared at him, taken aback by his boldness. “You might just be the sluttiest virgin I had the disgrace of meeting, Cal Calore.” 

He secured the strap of his backpack on one shoulder, and he bent forward to be eye level with her, a few inches away, making her heart stop. “Before I met you, I was just the latter.” He whispered, sending shivers all the way to her tiptoes. Then he pivoted and walked away from her, leaving her gaping offended at the empty air. 

She caught up to his side to smack his arm. “What are you implying? If anyone was the victim, it was me.” 

“I had never even seen _an ankle_ before that night,” he gasped placing a hand over his pec. “And now I’ll never be free of the sight.” 

They glanced at each other, a competition to see who broke first. They both lost, breaking out in laughter that made her stomach and cheeks ache. 

When they got to the main street, Cal pointed to the left with his thumb. “I have to go that way, but I could—” 

Mare batted the air with her hand. “Go, I’ve had enough of your face for a lifetime.” 

Cal took in the sight of her one last time; with tenderness she didn’t believe possible in such a high and mighty man. A gaze that branded her bones. 

He nodded, accepting his fate in stride, and breathed. “Goodbye, Mare.” 

It cost her a good amount of will power to move her legs away from him. 

She walked all the way to The Fishbowl, even though her class would be about to end by now. She didn’t remember how she'd gotten there. 

_Where’s your mind?_ She chided herself, realizing she still had the empty cup in her hand. She threw it in the trash. 

Farley. Farley was always focused and sure of herself. Surely some guidance from an older, wiser woman would poison the butterflies that had infested her chest the moment Cal’s lips had touched hers, and help her fix things with her boyfriend in the process. 

~📚~

“After the break, Doctor Sarah Skonos will chat with us about the benefits of silent contemplation. I leave you with the song requested by an anonymous listener, _Hard to handle_ , by The Black Crows.” 

The interior of the radio studio lost the red glow that the ON AIR light cast inside the dim space. 

Farley spun around on her swivel chair to face her. “Dump his ass.” 

Well, that hadn’t gone as expected. 


	3. Count your blessings (and your drinks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has no business being this long. Take it as a present 🎅 (or as coals, if you don't enjoy it). Thank you for your reactions last chapter! They keep me going.

“What do you mean dump his ass?” Mare sputtered, leaning forward on the couch. “What kind of advice is that?” 

“The one you asked for.” Farley crossed an ankle over her knee and said with a straight face. “A guy that is intimidated by your sex drive, and says shit like ‘he endures you’ isn’t worth your time. You’re not a marathon, you’re a woman with wants. He shouldn’t _endure_ you.” 

Shade had entered the studio with a bag of Chinese takeout and two drinks, and placed them on the table next to Farley, catching the last part of the conversation. 

“Exactly.” He took the other swivel chair. “If he likes you, he’ll enjoy your company and all of your perks.” Reaching for his soda, he looked directly at Farley when he spoke. “Even the ones that make you seem abrasive to others, he’ll find them magnificent.” 

“Did you just call me abrasive?” Farley faced him with a half annoyed, half charmed expression. Watching them when they were together always caught Mare off guard. The way they synced up like two instruments in a song, seemed impossible. 

“And magnificent.” 

“Before you start making out,” Mare interrupted their little moment. “To clarify, you think I should break up with him, just like that.” 

“The fact that you are even asking me these after-” her smart blue eyes fixed on the ceiling as she counted with her fingers, “-5 months says it all.” 

“Psychologists say the first 6 months you’re supposed to be crazy- dying to kiss him- willing to marry- ball to the walls- in love.” Shade supplied, grabbing a box and chopsticks. “So, if you’re not like that now, what can you expect one year from now?” 

One year? keeping Eli around for that long felt like a terrible, grueling task. _Something to endure_ , as he had so kindly put it the other night. 

Mare rubbed her temple and started picking at a loose strand of her ripped jeans. He was right, but he was still her brother. “How do you know I don’t feel all that? Maybe I just don’t like to make a show out of it.” 

Giving her an amused, knowing look, he pointed at her with a chopstick. “I know you better than you know yourself, young lady. The day you truly fall in love, you’ll turn stupid.” 

“Gross.” She grimaced and rose from the couch. “Thanks, Farley.” 

“Anytime,” Farley waved a dismissive hand. 

Mare reached for one of the takeout boxes but Shade slapped her wrist, shooing her away. “Go buy your own.” 

In doing so, he forgot his own box on the table. Which Mare circled around, and swiftly took her brother's dinner, right at the same time the ON AIR sign lit up. Mare flipped him off, walking backward to the door as Shade glowered at her, unable to insult her out loud. 

Having your brother on campus did have its advantages sometimes. 

~🥤~🥤~

A Gucci bag dropped heavily on Cal’s table. He’d been quietly studying on the most secluded corner of the old library, partially hidden behind a limestone column, under a stained-glass window that let through the distorted orange glow of the street lights. 

Evangeline sat down cross-legged on top of the table and sighed dramatically. “Ask me about my day.” 

Cal slowly lowered his reading glasses down the bridge of his nose and leaned back on the chair. He was clearly not getting any more work done today. 

“Hi, Eve. How was your-?” 

“Terrible.” She slammed her fist on his notebook. “Remember that girl from my French history course?” 

“Elena?” 

“Elane. Yes, her,” Evangeline seethed. “I know for a fact she’s into me. _I’m certain_.” 

Evangeline had met the girl last semester during an art auction their parents had dragged them to and had been tracking her ever since, going as far as signing up for this class. 

“But?” Cal prompted her, trying not to smile. 

“But she’s so freaking introverted, I swear she’s trying to get me to propose to her before she admits she likes me.” 

“I thought you had been on dates already.” 

“Coffee, walks in the park, and she’s used me as a model for her photography a few times,” she admitted proudly, brushing her long platinum braid from her shoulder. “But in the lesbian world, that can either mean _‘We’re besties’_ or _‘I want to rail you’_ , Cal darling.” 

“Wow, ok,” he chuckled, shaking his head. _Gotta love Eve’s honesty_. “Too much information.” 

The mention of coffee dates reminded him of Mare's long brown hair, the ends dyed purple, being slightly mussed up by the breeze that crawled into the hidden plaza through the alley. How her eyebrows pinched as she decided how to answer to him, biting the straw of her bitter coffee. Just the memory made his stomach do a flip. Jesus, she was so cute. 

Evangeline, ever so perceptive, gave him a slit-eyed look, barely tilting her head to acknowledge her brother’s arrival to the library and to their table. 

“You seem too chipper for someone on the verge of eliminations,” she pointed out. 

“No shit.” Ptolemus plopped down on the chair across him with a relaxed smirk. “He got his cherry popped.” 

Cal’s face turned into a tomato. The son of a bitch hadn’t mentioned a thing that morning when they’d had breakfast together. The other guys from the Manor had been around though, so it made sense. 

Evangeline’s mouth fell open as she stared at him, the beginning of a grin tugging at her lips. 

“It- It wasn’t like that,” he rushed to explain. As much as he wanted to let them believe it, Mare’s reputation was at stake. “It was a confusing situation, but we weren’t doing it. And you should really knock before going into a room,” he added, rolling his shoulder blades annoyed. 

“Dude, you wanted to discuss the game plan for New Town.” He braced his thick forearms on the table. “Do you need me to show you your text? It’s not my fault your hoes show up unannounced.” 

A protective spark ignited in his chest. 

“Don’t call her that,” Cal’s voice was low and authoritative. “We had just met.” 

Ptolemus barked out a loud laugh that earned them faraway _‘shush’_. “Damn. You wasted no time.” 

And the spark turned into an urge to punch his snotty face. 

“Tolly, shut the fuck up.” Eve raised a hand like a queen silencing her riotous court. “Calore, explain.” 

Stretching his arms back, he tried to play it cool. “Nothing to explain, really. I met a girl and I like her. End of story.” 

“Enough to let her take your V card.” It wasn’t a question, and her tone, unlike Ptolemus, wasn’t mocking. Weirdly enough, despite all of her teasing and ‘friendly bullying’, she fully respected his decision to not have sex. 

He looked away, scratching the back of his neck, and answered honestly. “Yeah, maybe.” 

“And this girl Tolly mentioned...” 

“It’s her. But he got it all wrong! So far, we’ve _just_ talked.” 

“Sorry for misinterpreting the sexy lingerie and BDSM tools,” Ptolemus said drily. “Won’t happen again.” 

Evangeline knit her brow, then she looked into the distance, pupils darting from left to right as if she was reading a riddle on the far shelves. 

“This happened last night?” 

“Yes,” Cal answered cautiously. “But, as I said, it was a bit of a mix-up. We just talked, and she has a boyfriend, so it may not go anywhere.” 

At the mention of ‘boyfriend’ Evangeline nearly fell off the table, covering her mouth, eyes wide like plates. She seemed torn between screaming and laughing maniacally. 

Jumping to the floor, she reached for her handbag with an evil gleam in her gaze. “Ohh I’ll never let Mare live this down.” 

Shit, really? Cal leaped to his feet and grabbed her arm before she could run away and do god-knows-what. How the hell had she figured it out? 

“Evangeline, you can’t say anything. I promised I wouldn’t say anything.” 

“You didn’t. I figured it out,” she smirked. 

“Do you think she’ll care?” He desperately tried to reason with her. “Please, you’ll kill any chances I might have with her. And my chances are already pretty slim.” 

Tolly’s face bounced from one to the other as if he was watching a tennis match. 

The victory in her face faded into disappointment when she sensed how important this was for him. Eve rolled her eyes and yanked her arm free. 

“I can’t believe you actually like her.” She perched on the edge of the table. “ _Her_. Of all the women on campus throwing themselves at you.” 

“What? Is she like... a shitty person or something?” 

“No.” Eve scoffed. “She’s just so-” she gestured with her hand, looking for the right word. “So scruffy.” 

Scruffy? Cal laughed, sitting down on the chair. Where they even talking about the same girl? 

“She’s beautiful," he exhaled.

Ptolemus opened his mouth to say something but the dark glare Cal shot him made him shut it and raise his palms. Good or bad, whatever he thought of Mare, he better kept it to himself. 

“Hmm,” she cocked her head to the side, unconvinced. “I guess if she moisturized better, did her eyebrows, a decent manicure, got a wardrobe that doesn’t look from the 90’s male section of Goodwill-” 

“Ok, I get it. She’s not your type.” 

“To each their own,” she patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t forget to wear protection.” 

“Eve,” he said with a warning. “She has a boyfriend. I’m not getting my hopes up.” 

She smirked, privy to an important detail he wasn’t. “Not for long. Something tells me she likes you better than him. Tolly,” she twisted around to glance at her brother over her shoulder. “Isn’t the weather lovely for a Silver Eagles party tomorrow night?” 

They shared a complicit smile and he rose to his feet, snapping his fingers. “I’m on it.” But then remembered something and sat down again, reaching for the laptop in his backpack on the floor. “As soon as I’m done with this essay.” 

~🥤~🥤~ 

“Fuck off.” 

“Are you going to make me beg?” Kilorn placed his fists on his hips, refusing to leave her room or let her turn off the lights. “Because I’m not above doing it.” 

Mare was fresh out of the shower, wearing her PJs and ready to call it a night, snuggling with her computer to watch the last episode of a show called _Darkness & Skulls_. She’d started binge-watching it Friday night and couldn’t remember shit, except the protagonist and the villain were crazy hot. 

“Why are you so hell-bent on going to that party?” 

“The entire team is going to be there,” he explained as he opened her closet and picked out an outfit for her, throwing the only Jean skirt she owned and a blouse. “And I couldn’t get any of them to talk to the show after they lost. So maybe, if I catch them drunk off their asses, I’ll get them to talk.” 

“Perhaps if you tried being nicer to their captain,” Mare offhandedly suggested (not like she has any interest in said captain) and her friend snorted. 

“And add another tongue to the army of idiots licking his boots?” Mare made a face at the _classy_ metaphor. Kilorn waved one of her bras in the air, turning to point at her face. “No way, Jose. Get dressed… please?” he added after seeing her reaction to being bossed around. “There’s going to be a shit-ton of free booze.” 

That did the trick. With a heavy sigh, she waved her index finger in a swirling motion, indicating for him to face the wall so she could get changed. 

Getting drunk sounded like a wonderful idea after she’d come to the sad conclusion that Farley and her gut feeling were right: she had to break up with Eli. Reaching the conclusion had given her peace of mind, but it also felt like a failure. And she hated it. 

And there was this issue of her mind constantly conjuring fantasies that turned her into a thought-cheater after she’d kissed the wrong guy once. The wrong guy that had felt _so_ right. 

She’d texted Eli telling him they needed to talk, but he’d announced he was going home for the weekend. The break up was delayed until Monday. 

Mare put on the short skirt and tucked her oversized _‘Vote Swan 2016’_ T-shirt in the waist, donned Vans shoes, then let her hair fall from her bun and turned it in a half-bun. 

“Done.” 

Kilorn pivoted on his heel with a wide grin that crumpled into a frown when he saw her outfit. 

“I did mention the party was at Hitze Manor, right?” He eyed her up and down with disapproval. 

Hitze Manor had this archaic rule that men could only enter the party accompanied by a woman, an entry fee of sorts. Sexism was alive and well in some parts of Harbor Bay University. 

“Nowhere in the rules does it say I have to follow a dress code.” It wasn’t that she didn’t like dressing up from time to time, it’s that, given the location, she wanted to stand out as little as possible. Not wanting to risk drawing the attention of a certain Silver Eagles player and going from thought-cheater to real-piece-of-shit-cheater. “The less those idiots notice me, the better.” 

Kilorn accepted the excuse and added. “Effective way to say _taken_.” 

“Not for long,” she muttered slipping her phone in her back pocket. 

Kilorn placed an arm over her shoulders as they headed for the door. “Should I be sorry or congratulate you?” 

Mare groaned, “I’ll tell you on the way.” 

~🥤~🥤~ 

This party had ulterior motives. He wasn’t 100% sure about what motives were those exactly, but he was positive Evangeline hadn’t suddenly developed empathy for the team’s morale. By 10 pm, the Manor was bursting with people, alcohol, and music so loud it made the floor vibrate. 

After sipping a beer so slowly it warmed up while making small talk with the guys from the team for an hour, he saw no point in staying around for the rest of the ordeal. Parties were to celebrate winners, and he wasn’t one. He went to Ptolemus’ room to let Evangeline know he was calling it a night. 

She had arrived with that redhead friend of hers and gone to her brother’s bedroom to get dressed. He rapped his knuckles on the door and an impatient voice answered. 

Pushing the door open, Cal saw why Eve was taking so long to get ready. Elane was lying down, hair fanned out over the pillow, while Eve straddled her hips, leaning forward with a tiny brush in one hand and a palette of eyeshadow in the other. Evangeline’s short dress was hiked up even higher on her thighs as the other girl dug her shinny nails in her exposed legs. 

Girls and their elaborate makeup looks. 

Eve didn’t take her eyes off the girl’s face, inches below hers, and drawled. “Can I help you?” 

“I’m just coming to tell you your party is a success.” He pointed his thumb to the general direction of the party. “Good night. Nice to meet you, Elane.” 

“Don’t move, ok?” Eve asked Elane with unprecedented delicacy, and left the bed, going over to Cal, pushing him to the hallway and back to the stairs. “Go back to the party and have a little more faith in me.” 

“Having faith would be easier if I knew what are you up to.” 

At the first landing, she whirled him around to grab his shoulders and give him a sarcastic smile. 

“At the moment, I’m trying to seduce Elane.” Her smile dropped. “And you’re interrupting. Look for Tolly, he was setting up some games.” 

Spotting the platinum blond mane was easy since his friend was almost as tall as him. Pushing through the dancing bodies, he made it to the east side of the Manor. The sunroom there had been set up with a round table full of shots and the only lights were those that filtered in from the adjacent room’s strobe lights. 

“Ah the man of the hour,” Ptolemus beckoned him to go closer. Some of the guys from the team and girls from the cheerleading squad were there, seated in a circle around the table. He greeted a few of them, before reaching his friend. 

“What’s all this?” 

“A way to make friends.” He grinned like a snake with prey on sight. 

Cantos, a beast of a man, was leaning against the arched doorway to the Sunroom, with a view of the rest of the house. He was the self-proclaimed bouncer during these parties; not because he cared about peace, but because it was a good excuse to dive into every brawl that he spotted. “Warren is here,” he announced. 

Kilorn Warren? Who the fuck let that guy in? He was probably here to bombard them with double-edged questions and drive him, in particular, to say stupid shit he could rip apart in that radio show of his. 

In the other room, Kilorn’s sinewy frame started to become visible through the crowd. Cal felt stones dropping in his stomach. How he regretted not having gone to— someone was trailing after Kilorn. The stones disappeared and his insides did a happy pinwheel. 

Behind the bottle of beer she was sipping, Mare looked annoyed to be here. He started toward her but Ptolemus clamped a hand on his shoulder and forced him to sit down in an armchair that looked like a wicker version of the Iron throne. 

“Easy there, Cal,” he whispered, lowering himself to be at his level. “Now’s when the fun begins.” 

And by _the fun_ he meant… 

~🥤~🥤~

“Drink or dare, people! If anyone else wants to join, speak now or forever hold your peace!” The blond guy made himself heard over the deafening sound of the bassy, rapid rhythm that the speakers were drumming in her ribcage and ears. 

Wasn’t that the same guy that had…? 

He was. And sitting right next to him there was the human being she was supposed to avoid. Cal looked every bit the king of Harbor Uni he was; surrounded by his lackeys, casually leaning back against the backrest, drinking an unworthy can of cheap beer. So comfortable being the sun the rest of the people in the party orbited around. 

His eyes locked with hers across the distance and pierced her with their gorgeous bronze intensity. 

Staring like a creeper was not going to paint her in a good light. She forced her hand to wave meekly, accompanied by an _‘oh, hey it is you! The guy I have definitely not been thinking about obsessively for the past 48 hours’_ smile. And immediately tore her gaze from him, making a point to ignore him. 

“Kilorn, I’m going somewhere else.” Mare let him know when it became obvious he was heading to the den of wolves. 

“What? No! Look they’re going to play a game. Why don’t you play while I annoy these assholes?” Kilorn embraced Cantos in a one-armed bro hug. “Hey man! Good to see you!” 

“Does it look like I play drinking games?” Mare shot him an unamused look. 

“If there’s something in it for you…” Kilorn pushed forward until he made it to the circle of players. AKA people he wanted to interview. 

The side of her face burned under the weight of Cal’s eyes tracking her movements. 

The blond guy was sitting on top of the backrest of a couch, feet on the cushions. “Remember the prize is a 500 dollars gift card for The Campus Bookstore.” He moved his arm to catch with a cap the paper balls the players shot his way, dizzyingly agile. 

500? Shit, she could use some new textbooks. Besides, her alcohol tolerance was high. 

Kilorn started doing his thing, recording with his phone, striking conversation about the game with the Silver Eagles guys as if they were lifelong pals. 

Chewing the inside of her cheek, Mare said, _“Fuck it,”_ and raised her hand. “I’m in.” 

“Write your name and put it in the cap.” The blond lifted it and pointed to a notebook and pen on the table at the center. 

She did as told. Out of nowhere, her body lit up, reacting to the presence of someone, her hands shaking slightly as she scribbled her name. 

“You play too?” she kept her tone casual. 

“Sure.” Cal was standing right behind her. “You play, I play.” 

Mare turned on her heels and pressed the notepad into his hard chest after ripping the paper with her name and crumpling it in her fist. “Why? Are you starting to enjoy the taste of defeat?” 

Instead of answering right away to her quip, he unabashedly let his eyes linger on her face until she’s started to feel increasingly heated. “Didn’t your PE teachers ever tell you _‘it’s not about winning’_? Thank you for your concerns though.” 

With a quick flourish, he wrote his name and put the crumpled ball in the hat. 

“Good to see you again,” the blond said with a monotonous tone as she dropped her name in the cap in his hands, but there was a shrewd glint in his narrow eyes. “Didn’t have the time to introduce myself. I’m Ptolemus.” 

Mare made no effort in making her tight-lipped smile seem real and strode to the furthest free seat in the circle. 

“Ok, people. Rules.” Ptolemus stood on the couch cushions. “We start with soft drinks and PG13 dares. No full-on sexual requests are allowed.” Some guys whined and laughed at that. Pigs. “Do your dare or drink, and if you pass out, you lose. The last man standing wins.” 

If there ever was a boring Drink or Dare player, that would be Mare Barrow. 

Instead of doing the childish dares she was asked, she downed a drink and let the game proceed. Only when she considered a dare harmless enough, like balancing a glass of juice on top of her head or rapping a well-known Nicki Minaj verse, those she did. 

Cal, on the other hand, was beyond thrilled at the opportunity of doing the physical stuff his teammates asked: a hundred pushups, a thousand crunches, a bajillion pull-ups; and what the girls asked: take his T-shirt off for the next round. It happened over and over again. To the point where it became a joke that when a girl got his name, he just did it unprompted and the crowd went wild. And God, how she hated not being immune to his idiotic charm. 

Mare gritted her teeth and punished herself by checking her emails whenever it was his turn. Her gaze inevitably landed on him afterward and found him looking at her, searching her face for a reaction. She showed none, but her nerve endings sparkled to life. 

In related news, he wasn’t drinking anything at all. That was quickly becoming a problem as the circle became smaller and players failed their dares or the lightweights fell off their chairs, too drunk to keep playing. 

At this point, the room started to become blurry around the edges and Mare found she couldn’t for the life of her, stop staring at Cal for more than 5 seconds. Was it worse that he seemed to be in the same predicament, even sober as a monk? Absolutely. 

The dares and drinks got progressively stronger, the air around them increased temperature like a slow cooking oven. Way too much naked skin, kissing, lap dances. Unless it was explicit sex, it was allowed. 

Knowing her limits, she decided to stop drinking. Which happened around the same time there were only 4 of them and the shots upgraded to tequila. Sonya and Oliver were cousins, so whenever they got each other’s names, they asked some lame dare. 

Sonya got Cal’s name and smiled like a cat in heat. She was too beautiful to be real, her body was sculpted to perfection by long hours of training with the cheerleaders, _and she was probably very flexible too_ , a resentful voice whispered in her ear as she saw how Sonya batted her eyelashes. 

“Cal, I dare you to make out with me.” 

His eyes went straight to Mare like a kid getting caught in a naughty act. She raised her eyebrows with disdain. The green poison accumulating in her mouth and souring her entire face had no right to be, and yet it was. 

“I…” he seemed to remember the alternative. “I’ll drink.” 

The small crowd, Kilorn included, that surrounded the circle, cheered as Cal finally took his first shot of the night. He scrunched up his face after biting the lemon and coughed, then returned to his seat, next to the other remaining player. Interesting, no wonder he didn’t drink. 

Luckily, Oliver swayed like a blade of grass to the wind whenever he stood up. She had to get rid of him quickly. 

“Mare!” Oliver squinted his eyes at the paper he’d fished out of the cap. He lifted his glassy eyes and hiccupped a laugh. “oh what’s the point? You’re going to drink anyway. I dare you to become a lap warmer for the next round,” he patted his lap with a lewd grin. 

Mare stood up and slowly, letting the tension build up, sauntered over to Oliver. His eyes went wide and eager. 

Taking his chin between her fingers, she tilted his face up to her. 

“Don’t assume shit about me,” she murmured sweetly, then let him go, and stepping aside, she lowered herself across Cal’s lap. He tensed up at the contact and a full-body blush warmed her skin. 

_She was sitting on Cal’s lap_. The small voice in her head screamed and ran in circles, but she kept her composure. 

“Hey!” Oliver protested. 

“You should’ve been more specific, bro,” Ptolemus laughed and extended the cap to his friend. 

“Bitch,” the offended muttered under his breath. Mare was tempted to shove the nearest tequila bottle down his throat. A firm, massive hand gripped her hip possessively and Mare’s breath hitched. It only lasted a second and it was gone. 

Cal regarded him coldly as he grabbed one of the remaining four names. 

“Oliver,” his tone lacked the fun it had only minutes ago. “I dare you to arm-wrestle Ptolemus.” 

His friend scoffed. “You know he is stronger than me.” 

“But tequila is such a soft drink for you, that would be too easy,” Cal coaxed him. 

Was he trying to get rid of him? It stirred a primal part of her. Mare kept her arms folded, not trusting the way they wanted to wrap around his neck. Handcuffs would be pretty useful right now. 

“Pshh, ‘s nothin’. Bring the jungle juice!” Oliver shouted and rose to his feet flexing his toned arms. 

The audience whistled and someone brought forth a batch of the red liquid. They placed it in the table at the center, and the astringent smell of the potent alcohol almost made Mare tear up. Sweet baby Jesus, that was suicide. 

Ptolemus filled a cup to the brim. “No spilling,” he ordered. 

Oliver took it and gestured for his audience to cheer for him, and they did. Chanting, “drink drink drink!” as he tilted the cup against his mouth. 

Mare flinched away, fearing the worst as he downed the radioactive trash, and unwillingly leaned the side of her body against Cal’s chest. Her skin came alight with goosebumps, wanting more. Cal wasn’t even paying attention to the other guy as he proclaimed his victory and crushed the empty cup to his head, no. His focus was solely on Mare. 

“Funny, I don’t see your boyfriend around,” Cal mumbled in a low voice, his breath caressing her cheek, but he kept his hands respectfully gripping the armrests. Mare had to hold back the need to explain herself and the shiver that would’ve betrayed her. 

“Were you hoping for an introduction?” She managed to sound annoyed. His reply never came. 

Oliver was spinning in a circle, basking in the cheers after drinking the death juice when he dropped to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut. 

The cheers died as everyone stared at the fallen soldier until a good Samaritan dragged him away. 

“And we’re down to three, ladies and gentlemen!” Ptolemus said with the least possible excitement and discarded Oliver’s name from the pool. 

It was Mare’s turn. She took one of the papers and three neat letters stared back at her. 

“Cal,” she read like it was a foreign language. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him smirk. This was the first time she pulled his name and suddenly she’d forgotten how the game worked. 

_Just tell him to take off his shirt_ , the part of her brain eager to be done with the moment screamed at her. _No, dumbass, you actually want to win this thing_ , the other part pointed out. 

“We don’t have all night, sweetie.” Sonya was sneering at her from across the room. 

“She enjoys her new seat,” some dude in the audience fake coughed and the others laughed. Except for Kilorn. He was looking at her with a worried frown as if expecting a signal to come and rescue her. 

Unfortunately for her, the random dude was right. She _was_ enjoying the warmth of his skin through the jeans, his smell of cologne and something woodsy, his undivided attention. In fact, in a far far corner, her half-drunk mind entertained the idea of scooting back and fully sitting on top of his crotch. Good thing it was a _far_ corner. 

Her chances of getting him drunk this late in the game were low, but that was the only way to win this thing. That or get him to drop out, and he seemed all too happy to keep the game going. 

She twisted her neck to look at him. There was again, the intensity of his bronze gaze like an arrow to the chest. 

“I dare you to...” _something he won’t do_. Her eyes dropped to his lush lips— _Not that you idiot!_ “Sing a New Town College cheer.” 

That got a reaction even out of Ptolemus. The audience of football players and loyal Silver Eagles fans erupted in tumultuous protests. Cantos even walked up to her face to ask her “are you insane? What’s wrong with you?” in a very agitated manner. Mare instinctively curled up, and Cal surrounded her midsection with one corded arm while he extended the other with an open palm, placatingly. 

_Oh, to be the ball he held like this on a daily basis_... Jesus, she must’ve been even more intoxicated than she thought. 

“There were no rules against this, Jesus Christ,” Mare rolled her eyes, ignoring her rapid heartbeat that had nothing to do with the wasp nest she had poked, and all to do with the way Cal held her against him. 

“Ok, ok,” Cal tried to calm the spirits with his booming voice. “Settle down!” The whole room of brainless fanatics stilled at once. This was a terrible moment for her lady parts to awaken, but they did anyway. “Samos, does the dare count?” 

Ptolemus pinned her with a scornful look as if she was a dirty sock he’d found under the bed right after doing his laundry. “We didn’t set rules against it, so yes,” he muttered. 

“Just give me the damn cup, then,” he ordered before the room could spiral into outrage once more. 

Cantos obediently poured the jungle juice, but only half a cup. Mare narrowed her eyes and unfolded her arms to wave a hand at him. “Oliver drank the entire thing. Fill it up.” 

Cantos glared at her but did as told. 

Cal had settled his hand at her hip and gave her a cautionary squeeze. She bit her lip and pressed her legs together like a freaking bear trap to keep herself from squirming in his lap. “Incendiary much?” he whispered. 

“It was a cheer,” she deadpanned twisting her face to the table, away from him. “Not the sacrifice of your firstborn.” 

He chuckled with an easy, masculine sound that was as pleasant as a crackling fire in the middle of December. 

He took the cup from Cantos and tilted his head back as he drank the liquid in one go. This time she couldn’t avoid looking at him. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed, and how his neck muscles tensed, how the pressure of his grip on her hip increased. Her stomach clenched in response. 

When he was done, he scrunched up his face, closing his eyes for a long couple of seconds. Was this it? Mare held her breath. 

“Fuck.” He shook his head, opening his eyes. Still in one piece, sadly. “That crap should be illegal.” 

His fans clapped like he had saved a kid from drowning at the pool. 

Their eyes met and Cal smirked in this almost childish _‘see what I did? Did you see it?’_ kind of way that made her heart flutter. Did he have to be so infuriatingly adorable? Now, _that_ should be illegal. 

“My turn!” Sonya waltzed over to Ptolemus, not waiting for him to go to her. “The round is up. You can return to your chair, Mare,” she reminded her with poorly concealed irritation. Then grabbed a name from the cap and read it aloud. “Mare.” 

“Wait!” Cal called before Sonya could dare her to take a shower while holding a live wire. He lifted her for a second, spun in place to deposit her in the armchair, so fast she felt every beverage from the game climb to her mouth, and rushed to Sonya’s side. 

As she forced a swallow and held to the armrests trying to make the sunroom stop spinning, she noticed a few helpful facts. First, she noticed that in the two strides it took him to reach Sonya to whisper in her ear, Cal tripped clumsily. _What a lightweight_ , she ran her tongue over her teeth, savoring how close she was from victory. One more drink and he would be done. Second, more unfortunate, while she may have been able to handle a few more vodka shots or beers, there was no way in hell she could drink the Jungle Juice without puking her guts out immediately after. 

Sonya’s sensual thick lips twisted in a malicious grin, listening to what Cal had to say. 

“Now would be a perfect time to bail.” Kilorn’s voice was in her ear. When had he moved over to this side? “They’re about to turn you into their next meal and I already have what I need.” He grabbed her arm and pulled but Mare stayed put. 

“I’ll eat him— them,” she corrected herself without breaking eye contact with the pair. 

“What?” 

“Trust me. I got this.” She turned to her friend only to wave his hand away. He assessed her sobriety state, knitting his brow when he realized she was serious about it. 

Nodding once, he ruffled her hair and planted a quick kiss atop of her head. “I’m here.” 

He could be such a mom friend sometimes. Still, she appreciated the moral support. 

Cal looked in her direction at that exact moment and he gave Kilorn a curious, somber look before his eyes snapped back to her. 

“Since you seem to think that cheering is no biggie-” Sonya folded her hands in front of her body and smiled down at her, dripping pettiness and contempt. Not a fortunate combination. “-I believe this dare is basically a gift to you. I dare you to cheer for the Silver Eagles, they decide if you were up to part and if you aren’t...” She raised her palms up in an exaggerated shrug. 

The blood drained from her body and went through the hardwood floor, right to the sewers. The same beasts she’d mocked a minute ago now whistled and hooted. 

Karma. 

Her pride wasn’t worth 500 dollars what the fuck. She was about to bail, but then, Cal smirked, gloating like a peacock. 

“You surrender?” he sounded unbearably smug. _Unbearable_ , being the keyword. 

If there was something greater than Mare’s pride, it was her spite. Fuming, she rose to her feet, chin held high. 

“I’ll do it.” 

Two minutes later, after being swarmed by a bunch of cheerleaders, she had her T-shirt tied in a knot over her ribcage, exposing her abdomen, hair in a high ponytail, cheekbones smeared with two black and blue lines, and a pair of pom-poms. A girl she vaguely recognized from a course last semester, Ann West or Walsh, was actually nice while teaching her the cheer words and showing her a video of the routine. 

“You got it?” Ann asked pointing at her phone screen. 

“Yeah,” she lied. Oh God, what had she agreed to? She didn’t even dare a glance in Kilorn’s direction, incapable of taking his probably horrified expression, thus digging the pit in her stomach deeper. 

Cal was sprawled on his throne again, resting his chin on a closed fist bracing his elbow over the armrest, looking at her like she was the best show in town. She was about to be. Those eyes of molten precious metals... If she wasn’t careful, she would drive off a cliff for them. 

This was just a bit of dancing. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly as the crowd quieted down, leering eyes plastered to her. Dancing and being charming. They didn’t know just how fucking charming she could be. 

She whirled around and went to the table at the center, threw back a shot of tequila. 

_Almighty Beyonce, if you’re out there, do me solid._

Making use of the bass provided by the song playing in the other room, she stomped her foot to the beat, and let her brain exit her body, and the spirit of a Disney channel child-actress with a sugar overdose take over. 

“Ready? Ok!” She jumped to face the team members and moved her arms in the enthusiastic, mechanical way she’d seen in the video. 

“We’re fired up, we’re sizzling hot.” A shimmy, a sway of her hips, a wink in Cantos direction and the pea brain smiled dumbly. 

“We’ve got the heat. We will not stop.” She kicked the air, did punching motions. The crowd was growing larger, joining in with whistles and clapping. 

“When it comes to football.” Feeling a little bolder now that the people were joining in, she faced Cal. He was grinning so wildly, he might have just been drugged. “We can’t be beat!” She did the punching motions to his face, an inch away from actually breaking his nose but he didn’t flinch, just laughed. 

“I say Silver, you say-” _Please don’t leave me hanging._

“EAGLES!” _Thank God for drunk college students._

“I say Silver, you say-” “EAGLES!” “Silver-” “EAGLES!” “Silver-” “EAGLES!” 

Time for the big finale. “From east to west, the Silver Eagles are the best!” She did a high kick that probably flashed every attendant at the party (It wasn’t a coincidence the guys cheered louder), and let herself slide to the floor doing a split, holding her arms in a V, shaking the pom-poms. “Go Eagles!” 

There was no moment of suspense to see if she had completed her dare. Every frat bro, team member, and sports fanatic in the room went wild screaming at the top of their lungs, throwing beer in the air, singing the ways they were going to destroy New Town in the next game. Ok. 

Cantos, already having forgotten her earlier offense, lifted her by the waist like a doll, announcing in growls he was going to murder the other team. Mare squealed and kicked the air. When her feet touched the ground, she leaped away from the mob, elbowing people, feeling her heart and lungs on the verge of collapse. 

Kilorn caught her before she could kiss the floor and steadied her. Now that the thing was over, the adrenaline was wearing off and leaving her a trembling bundle of nerves. 

“How bad was it?” She snatched the bottle of beer from his hand and chugged it eagerly. 

He looked dismayed. “Ehh...” He made an acute sound like a dying rodent, tilting his head from side to side, deciding how big the damage to her reputation had been. He didn’t sugarcoat it. “It was bad. But hey! The guys had a blast.” 

A loud whistle called for order in the room and the space cleared a little. 

“We still don’t have a winner,” Ptolemus was perched on the backrest of the couch. A handsome, scary gargoyle. “Calore, your turn.” 

“Fine, Sonya.” He twisted to face her. 

The girl in question had been leaning on the side of his wicker armchair, claiming the role of dutiful queen. 

“Yes, Cal?” 

Mare hopped and sat on the table, still agitated by the cheering routine that would haunt her to her grave. 

“I dare you to burp the alphabet backward.” Well, that was anticlimactic. 

Mare snorted and Sonya’s face fell like a popped balloon. 

“That is _disgusting_ ,” Sonya sneered and Cal raised his shoulders innocently. She marched toward the batch of jungle juice next to Mare. “I’ll drink.” 

She picked up a cup but Mare kindly took it from her and said sweetly, “allow me.” Just dipping it in the liquid lifted alcoholic fumes that burned her nostrils. “Bottoms up.” 

Sonya took the cup and grimaced at the abnormally red beverage. She’d been drinking a lot during the game, there was no way she could make it through this. Aand she didn’t. 

To her credit, she made it to half of the cup before her whole minidress-clad body tensed up and her eyes widened as if she’d been shot. With a splash that reached Mare’s clothes, she hurled the cup back to the batch and took off running, pressing her hands over her mouth. 

Out of female solidarity, Mare refrained from laughing like the rest of the congregated spectators. She did grin like the devil though. 

“And we’re down to our two finalists,” Ptolemus clapped once. 

_Mano a mano. Uno a uno._ She lazily let her eyes roam around the dimly lit room before settling her gaze on her opponent. He was resting his elbows on his thighs, examining her intently across the 6 feet of charged empty space between them, waiting for the next move. 

_He can’t take another drink_ , she thought with such satisfaction her hands tingled. She leaned back on her hands and crossed her ankles hanging from the table. 

“Calore,” she dragged his name, prolonging her thrill. To get him to refuse the dare, she had to go for his pride. Hard. 

“Mare,” he imitated her tone playfully. No fear of God in his heart. 

“I dare you...” oh this was going to be so good; her heart beat frantically against her ribs. “I dare you to kneel before me and worship me.” Merely pronouncing the words intoxicated her. 

The room fell silent for a stunned second. Every Silver Eagles player (that wasn’t completely wasted, that was) turned to their captain, fearful as if she’d threatened to collectively clip their balls. 

Cal’s face was indecipherable. In the darkness, his sharp features cast terrible shadows only rivaled by the darkness that clouded his eyes. He rolled his jaw, then his shoulder blades, and slowly rose to his feet. 

Mare’s smirk grew and turned into a grin. She did him the favor of filling a cup and extending it to him. 

“Don’t do it,” whispered one of the guys and Cantos elbowed him in the ribs. 

As Cal approached, the sound of the party became more and more muffled and distant. She had to crane her neck to hold his gaze. There was a fire like a raging inferno there. Mare’s hand faltered and so did her cocky grin. What if she had miscalculated? He stopped when the fabric of his jeans brushed her knees, looming over her and drowning out the rest of the world. 

He took the cup and Mare nearly passed out from the relief. 

“I’m not in the habit of worshiping people,” he commented with an edge to his voice she couldn’t place. Either he was furious and about to snap her neck or... “Much less kneeling before anybody.” Mare swallowed. “Is that understood?” 

“Yes,” she choked out, and the worst thing happened. Cal moved his arm to place the overflowing cup back on the table, but a bit of juice spilled and landed on Mare’s knee... _as he kneeled._

“Seriously?” Mare huffed and it was a fantastic excuse to twist around, avoiding him if even for a second, and grab a roll of paper towels, handing it to him. 

When she looked at him again, he was kneeling already like a good servant waiting for orders. But his gaze was ripping her apart- no. Ripping her clothes off. Hot honey pooled at the bottom of her belly and lower. 

“Take this.” She gave him a paper towel, trying to inject her tone with as much nonchalance and disdain as she could, even though her heart was about to burst like an overinflated beach ball. Extending her leg like a ballerina, she pointed at the red liquid sliding down the inner side of her knee and calf. “Clean your mess.” 

And that’s when she knew he’d done it on purpose. His smirk was downright sinful as he gripped her ankle and growled, “with pleasure.” 

His parted mouth caught the drop of liquid from the lower, inner part of her leg and Mare gasped. Her insides coiled and melted, gathering at her core. _Fuck fuck fuck_. She clamped her mouth shut, breathing heavily through the nose. 

Cal looked up through his dark lashes and moved his warm, wet mouth higher, cleaning. Just like she’d requested. _But not like this_. She couldn’t even open her mouth to tell him to stop, afraid that an embarrassing sound would escape her throat. And, honestly, the shivers that climbed from the points of contact of his lips all the way to her scalp were like a drug, she didn’t want him to stop. 

“Am I doing good?” he said so low she felt it more than heard him. It twisted her up like a sailor’s knot aching to be untangled. 

“Mhmm,” she kept the answer short. And then, the demon, the criminal, upon reaching the place where he’d spilled- _don’t think about the implications of that_ –he opened his mouth and licked her like she was a large swirl lollipop. She couldn’t fight back the wave of electrifying pleasure that made her nipples pucker, and tore a whimper from her throat even with her lips firmly shut. She felt him grin against her skin before giving her another slow lick for good measure. 

Mare was about to bury her hand in his thick black hair when her brain decided to return from its vacation. SHE WAS STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARTY, SITTING ON TOP OF A TABLE AND WITH A LIVE AUDIENCE. And of course, today she had decided to forgo a bra. Pushing Cal away with her foot she lifted her gaze to examine the crowd. 

When her eyes met with Kilorn. The hurt and anger in him before he bolted and got lost in the sea of people struck her with guilt. The rest of the spectators were simply stunned in almost reverent silence that only broke when Cal stood up and wiped his lower lip with his thumb, looking smug as hell. They howled and made theatrical praising bows. 

At least he didn’t look at them for their approval. His attention was still on her as if silently asking if she was fine. But how could she be fine? 

Even on his knees, he was a pagan god among mortals. And her? She hoped they were too busy being impressed with how he’d turned the tables to notice her breasts poking behind her T-shirt. 

“Well,” Ptolemus was the only one who looked on the verge of an aneurism, giving Cal a _‘who are you?’_ look. “If the erotic show is over. Can we get this over with already? Cal, say your dare and please keep it clean, we eat on that table.” 

No further commentary needed, Mare hopped down from the table, brushing past Cal as she widened the distance between them. Her legs felt unstable, and her panties uncomfortably damp. 

Why was she even playing this thing? Textbooks. Shiny, fresh smelling, new textbooks. No one could accuse her of not being a dedicated student. 

She crossed her arms strategically high on her chest and only then she dared to face him again. 

“Have you exhausted all of your brilliant ideas already, Cal?” she used her bravado as a mask to the world. This way it looked like she was just a wild party girl who didn’t give a fuck about anything, and not the horrible truth; that Cal was turning into a parasite worm, eating his way inside her head and driving her to the edge of madness. 

“I have one more.” He sounded almost nervous, but he took a breath and put on his best poker face. “Mare...” 

She stopped breathing. 

“I dare you to break up with your boyfriend.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥂HAPPY HOLIDAYS!🥂 Don't party like these idiots, and drink water <3<3


	4. Stay hydrated (with WATER)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a WHILE damn. Thank you so much for your reactions, as always. I just wanted to leave the song that sort of inspired this fic and I feel so bad because some (most? idk)😞 won't get the genius lyrics/gender swap: [Leroy Sanchez's Spanish cover of Break up with your GF](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71nc9LG1i1o&ab_channel=LeroySanchez)  
> And an artwork that inspired Evane's cameo last chapter [Here!](https://twitter.com/wantsgmarie/status/1337181733112983552)

That was it? She wanted to laugh until her lungs gave out. Oh Cal, if only he knew that that was exactly what she’d been planning to do next Monday. Still, she kept her face a cold mask of pragmatism. 

“And I win?” she asked quirking an eyebrow. 

He paused, surprised that she was even entertaining the notion. “Yeah, I’m not that creative.” 

That’s a lie, she wanted to say. Uncreative people didn’t come up with elaborate strategies to lick a lady’s leg. Anyway, it’s not like she had complained about it. 

What was his angle here though? She examined his sincere expression, the determined set of his square jaw. Was this a severe case of him feeling entitled to her somehow (it didn’t look like it), or a power move for his audience, or was he actually interested in her and neutralizing Eli out of the equation so he wouldn’t interfere with his courting. And suddenly she felt in the 18th century. Fitting, since he’d accused her of corrupting him by exposing him to her harlotrous ankles when they’d gone for coffee yesterday. 

The silence in the sunroom was thick with expectation, even though there was a full-blown party happening just out the doorway. 

There was only one answer. She wanted to win, and to break up with Eli so... 

“Ok, I’ll break up with him,” she shrugged. 

Even though there were fewer women in their small audience, they had apparently sided with her at some point during the night because a bunch of “Yeah, girl!” and “Collect your money, biatch!” reached her ears. 

“Hold on,” Ptolemus raised a hand, standing between them, playing his part as a referee. “The game ends tonight, so either, call him now or Cal wins.” 

“You think I’m bluffing?” Mare scoffed and pulled her phone from her back pocket. 

When she taped his name on the screen, checking the time, part of her felt bad for waking him up at midnight. To dump him, no less. She promised herself to explain things properly and talk to him on Monday as the dial sound stabbed the silence. 

“On speaker,” Ptolemus jerked his chin at the phone. 

“There’s no need for that-” Cal grabbed his friend’s shoulder with an apologetic look in her direction. 

Mare rolled her eyes and complied. This would be a short call anyway. She’d collect her gift card and go back to her dorm with a smile on her face. 

“Hello?” Eli picked up the phone. 

“Hi, I need to-” 

“Wait. Wait. I can’t hear you.” There was distorted music sounds in the background and Eli had to shout to make himself heard. 

A heavy foreboding weight settled at the pit of her stomach as she looked into Ptolemus’ expressionless black eyes and Cal’s worried ones. 

“Who is... oh Mare? What’s up, baby?” he spoke after the longest minute of Mare’s life. He’d moved somewhere quieter. 

“I...” Had he lied to her? There were so many wrong things in her relationship, but she would’ve never suspected lies were among those things. No. She was probably just projecting her guilt onto him. He very well could be just hanging out with friends or at a bar. “Eli, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about, and it can’t wait until-” 

“So this is where you went, sexy!” A female voice interrupted in the background and Mare’s blood froze. “Shit— Sorry. Is that your girlfriend?” The voice was more hushed, but the drunken whisper was as audible as a fire alarm piercing the night. 

_For fuck’s sake. Really?_ Mare’s heart hardened into a solid block of ice. 

“Not anymore. We’re done, Eli. Bye.” 

“No! Let me-” She finished the call without lifting her eyes from the name on the screen. This is what she got for trying to play stupid games. You got stupid prizes. And hers was public degradation. 

Biting the inside of her cheek she faced the gathered people, avoiding the two guys in front of her. 

Their looks of uncomfortable pity were the nails on her coffin. 

Ann, the same cheerleader that had helped her earlier, stepped forward, raising a bottle of beer and doing what she did best: she cheered. 

“Give it up for our Drink or Dare queen!” 

The awkward silence broke like a piñata as the girls rushed to her in celebration (cool) and solidarity (uncool). Everyone decided to collectively ignore the embarrassing detail of her being a fool, and for that, she was slightly thankful. 

Ann hugged her and spoke in her ear. “Forget about him. Don’t spill tears over a piece of shit.” Mare patted her back, uncomfortable. She appreciated the gesture, but more than crying, she wanted to be in front of Eli to dig his eyes out with her own nails and then dump him again. 

No matter how dead her relationship might’ve been, having your trust messed around with like a sperm donation center’s porn magazine was, decidedly, not a great feeling. 

“I need a drink,” she muttered, willing her vengeful mind to return to the party. 

Ann disappeared and returned with cherry vodka and a shot glass. 

Ptolemus and Cal pushed through the circle of people to reach her. The former to plaster a gift card in her hand and dispassionately lift her arm in victory, making the people raise their cups and cheer, the latter looking conflicted as hell. 

Mare took the shot Ann offered. 

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Cal said after Ptolemus left. His thick eyebrows forming a deep crease between them. 

The ice around her heart chipped off a little. Having him around was the best-case scenario, she thought with a smile as she threw back her shot. She urgently needed to stop feeling like a kicked down garbage can at the back alley of a 7-eleven and Cal would help her with that. 

“I did. I won.” She extended her shot glass to the side, and when the cheerleader tried to re-fill it, she exchanged the glass for the whole bottle with a wink to thank her. Ann shrugged. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cal asked hesitantly. 

Mare laughed and took a swig from the bottle. The burn inside her throat and the warmth in her stomach quickly started to melt the ice in her veins. Yes, she was very very glad to have Cal here. She took a step forward until their chests nearly touched. 

“Not really.” She took another swig, already swimming in the pools of gold of his irises. 

Then the night turned into a blur. Flashing lights. The heat of bodies. Skin. Sweat. Dancing. Deafening music. 

Then a black nothing. 

~🥃~🥃~ 

He’d gotten more than what he could have possibly wanted out of the Drink or Dare. On one hand, Mare was single. On the other, that piece of shit, Eli, had hurt her, and he couldn’t help but feeling like it was, in part, his fault. If he hadn’t requested the stupid dare, she wouldn’t have made the call and found out she was being cheated on. 

The subtle change in her face when she’d heard the other woman’s voice had made him sick as if he’d bitten into rotten fruit. That was not what he’d wanted. 

Maybe if _someone_ had jacked off in the shower like a regular person when his mind had driven him to Mare Town the morning after she’d shown up in his room, or after practice, or that morning again... well, he’d been thinking _a lot_ about her. If he’d done that instead of taking cold showers, he would’ve acted normal and asked her to kiss him or something innocuous for her dare, instead of daring her to break up with her boyfriend. Only obsessed stalkers did that. 

But no. He’d let his dick and his foolish heart’s grabby hands goad him into dealing with the boyfriend issue just as he would deal with an opponent in possession of the ball in the field. Tackling him to the ground and making him eat dirt. 

Emotional intelligence? Yeah. He’d failed that course. 

Mare didn’t give away a single emotion after that though. It was as if she didn’t care at all. Ann had pushed her to the dance floor and away from him as soon as Ptolemus gave her the prize. 

He leaned his back against the living room wall and slowly drank a beer, despite knowing he should stop drinking. 

What the fuck was she doing to his head? He was in the middle of a party, rejecting every girl that approached him, having a terrible time, all on the off-chance Mare decided that yes, she wanted to spend time with him. 

At the center of the dancefloor, swaying her body to the rhythm, Mare was having this incomprehensible (for him) girl-bonding moment aided by the popular music and fruity drinks. 

_Give me a sign_. He projected his useless thoughts across the room. _Give me a sign that you want me near._

_Maybe she wants you far away, you massive idiot._

A guy stood behind her and leaned to whisper in her ear. She made a face and he read her lips clearly in the split second the strobe lights illuminated the room. “No.” 

Mourning periods be damned. He finished his beer and started toward her. If she didn’t want him, it would do him good to hear it so his schoolboy crush could be snuffed out. 

The beat of the music slowed down, changing into a sensual, low beat. Mare twisted toward him before he could reach her and met him halfway. 

“Dance with me,” he asked, leaning into her, his hand instinctively reaching for her waist. 

She placed her palms over his shoulders, looking at him with a satisfied gleam in her almond eyes. “I will step on your feet, I’m warning you.” 

“Feet are overrated,” the football player said. _Smooth as sandpaper, well done_. 

Mare threw her head back laughing and the sound made his heart gallop against his ribs. It was as lovely as the sound of rain hitting puddles after a parching summer day. 

They danced as if they were extensions of each other, moving close, not quite grinding their bodies together like most of the couples and still, there was an intimacy to it. Keeping their foreheads, their cheeks, any part of their faces, wet with sweat, pressed together to talk. They talked despite the music and the pushing of the bodies. 

_I hate this song, I love this artist, this concert was terrible, who did you go with? Archeon sucks this time of the year, The Stilts aren’t much better, where are you going on vacation?_ and so on. 

He couldn’t get enough of her looking at him, of her teasing, her hands on him, her anecdotes, her voice. There was the world, and there was her. 

After what could’ve been minutes or hours, Mare took his hand, dragged him to one of the powder rooms, and closed the door behind them. 

Her ponytail was a mess of fluffed curls instead of her usual brown waves thanks to the humidity of the room they’d just left. Loose strands stuck to her face, and the two lines of black and blue paint on her defined cheekbones had smeared all over her. 

She took one look at him and snorted. 

“What is it?” he smiled despite not knowing what was going on. 

Mare grabbed him by the arm and turned him toward the mirror over the sink so they both could look at their reflections at the same time. 

Holy shit, all that rubbing his face with hers had transferred a good amount of paint to his own cheeks, forehead, and the tip of his nose. Glaring evidence of where their skin had met. 

She might've found it funny, but he found their untainted mouths an unforgivable mistake in the painting. Being this close to her in such limited space, his muscles tensed with a different kind of eager energy. 

“See?” Bending forward, elbows on top of the counter, she opened the faucet. “That’s what happens when you hang out with the commonfolk. You get your pretty face dirty.” She splashed water on her face and scrubbed her cheeks clean. 

“Maybe I want to get dirty,” he mumbled. 

She straightened and let her hair fall free, refreshing the back of her neck with a wet hand. Cal observed her, transfixed. 

“Then you should rub your reputation with mine,” she said in an offhanded manner, but there was a pained strain in it. “That should do the trick.” 

“I hope you’re joking. You’re literally the most amazing—” 

Mare cut off the start of his declaration by splashing water in his direction. “Oh shut up and wash your face, you filthy animal.” 

He begrudgingly bent over the sink and washed the paint off. “But you’re great. You do know that, right?” 

He watched her chest deflate through the mirror and her eyes lower to the floor. 

“Not enough to keep someone’s commitment.” She gritted out as she hastily untangled the knot of her T-shirt and covered her lean, tanned abdomen by tucking it in the waistband of the skirt. 

His lungs filled with toxic fumes as he imagined ways to rip Eli’s head off his shoulders. He would drain his blood and offer it to her if it would stop her from having such gloomy thoughts. 

Cal turned off the water and spun to face her. “You could be the perfect girlfriend and the wrong person would still find excuses to be unfaithful.” 

“How many girlfriends have you had, your holiness?” She cornered him against the counter, a smug smile playing at her lips. I could’ve been comical, because, buzzed as she was, she couldn’t remain perfectly still, and because she was so much shorter than him, but she licked her plump lips and all thoughts exited his brain. 

Heat rushed to his cheeks and other less noble parts. “I’ll have you know; I did have girlfriends in high school before I decided to wait to have sex.” 

Mare regarded him with curiosity. 

“Hmm.” She caged him with her arms, and getting on her tiptoes, pressed her lips firmly to his. A jolt of electricity shot up his spine. She pulled back before he could react. “I have a lot of questions. But I’m thirsty.” 

Intertwining their fingers, she pushed the door open and dragged him out again. His mouth burned deliciously; if burning yourself with scalding coffee could be turned into a pleasurable experience, this was it. 

Dizzy by the excess of alcohol and by her kiss, he was disoriented when they made it to the empty kitchen. Only those who were part of Hitze Manor were allowed inside. He’d been so distracted watching the purple ends of her hair bounce at her back (and, ok a little at her ass and her legs), that he didn’t even remember talking to the guy at the door so he would let them in. 

Black granite countertops and dark wooden cabinetry dominated the grand space. Mare climbed on top of the counter- otherwise she couldn’t reach -and started opening cabinets, rummaging through them. Cal followed her steps from the floor to catch her in case she fell, so she wouldn’t crack her head open like an egg. 

“How many girlfriends did you have?” she asked pushing cereal boxes out of the way. 

“Two.” Pretty, proper girls from the correct families. They hadn’t lasted long. “May I ask what are you doing?” 

“Looking for the good shit. That cheap beer doesn’t do it for me anymore. I love my liver a little.” She spun around precariously, pinching her index and thumb together, and crouched down. “Why didn’t you have sex with them?” 

He’d made the right choice by staying close to her because she plummeted down like a tube man whose fan had been disconnected. He caught her by the waist and eased her down to the floor, without letting her go. 

She giggled and covered her mouth, peering up at him through her lashes, spurring his heart to beat faster. “Sorry. So?” 

Cal wanted to kiss her so much he barely managed to gather his thoughts. “It’s like a game, Mare. You’re running with the ball, focused on getting to the end zone.” Mare was drawing circles in the column of his neck with the tip of her index finger and it was most distracting. He swallowed. “And you know you have to throw a pass, but you look at some of your teammates and you don’t feel it. It’s a split-second decision based on a gut feeling, on instinct.” 

The night they’d met, he’d heard her speak, taken one look into her beautiful, deep dark eyes, and known, even as terrified as he’d been, that he would throw the pass at her. Not the most romantic or even sensual way to describe it, but it summed up his feelings nicely. 

“Cal.” She pressed her forehead to his chest so he couldn’t see her expression. It sounded like it cost her a great effort to speak. “You say shit like that and expect me not to laugh.” She laced her fingers behind his neck and looked up at him with a guarded, amused expression. “I receive your pass and then what? What if your gut was wrong and I’m playing for the opposite team?” 

“Then I should get my eyesight checked.” 

Mare laughed and his soul filled every corner in the room, overflowing, shattering the windows, and flooding the backyard flowers. Yeah, he was pretty certain about his gut feeling being right with this particular pass. 

“You should be thankful you’re hot and good at sports-” she wiped an invisible tear with a knuckle, “-because that joke was terrible.” 

“Thank you, flattery will get you everywhere.” He moved his hands up, mentally drawing a map of her curves as he cupped her face and tilted her chin up. 

“Even to your fancy booze stash?” She murmured seductively. 

One thing he was learning about himself tonight: Mare Barrow could ask him to dive into an industrial vat of acid and he would. Acrobatic performance included. 

Cal was more or less aware of the steps it had taken him to go from one side of the Manor to the secluded playroom at the back. There the party was a bit... different. A dimly lit, wood-paneled hallway led to the double door. Nothing good ever happened there (or only good things, depending on who you asked). 

Bringing Mare here had several implications, and it wasn’t until the girls forming a line to get in twisted their heads like a gang of meerkats and openly stared at them, that he remembered what those implications were. 

With her small hand secured in his, their fingers intertwined, he paused at the door. 

“You should probably wait out here. If people saw you coming in here with me…” he let the silence speak for itself. 

“I want to go in.” She bounced on her feet, mischief sparkling in her eyes. 

“Do you know what this place is?” 

“Hitze Manor’s infamous playroom?” She deadpanned. “No, I’ve never heard of the sordid, hedonistic episodes that take place in here.” She tilted her head to the door, gesturing for him to open. 

It was his first time here during a party, so whatever happened in here, they were about to find out at the same time. 

He turned the brass doorknob and down the rabbit hole they went. 

The playroom air was thick with smoke and vapor, the sultry low lights barely illuminated the tangle of bodies scattered on every available surface of the exquisitely furnished room. 

Cal felt like a fish out of water for a good second, while Mare looked around unimpressed. 

His friend, Adam Tyros, a decent player and an overall serious guy, was fucking a girl bent over the billiards table, his pants hanging from his knees. He stopped mid-thrust to do a double-take of who had just entered the room. 

“Cal?” there was a hint of shocked amusement in his voice. “That you or I’m tripping?” 

His skin crawled. Never returning to this room during a party sounded about right. Actually, never returning _ever_ sounded like a better idea. 

“Yeah, the party was too loud.” He cleared his throat, avoiding looking directly at his friend. But no matter where he set his eyes, there were half-naked people indulging in R rated performances. “We couldn’t talk.” 

Adam took one look at Mare and winked at her. “Turning our fearless leader into a sinner, eh?” 

“Sure,” she replied unfazed, then jerked her chin toward the girl Adam was uh… being intimate with. “Your friend looks bored.” 

Indeed, the girl was chewing gum, browsing Instagram. Adam did a military salute to them and started pounding into her with invigorated motions. 

Cal all but launched himself and Mare toward the corner of the room, where the bar was. He could escape the sight but the sounds attacked him from all fronts. 

“This isn’t so bad.” Mare snorted, having a grand time. She started dragging her thin index finger over the bottle labels in the mahogany shelf over the bar, squinting her eyes. “I honestly expected an orgy, knives play. At least one caged sex slave.” She took one of the most expensive bottles of bourbon. “Aha!” 

“That’s on Tuesdays. Sorry to disappoint.” The fact that he managed a joke even though he felt his face was on fire was one hell of an achievement. 

By the sounds of it, Tyros had managed to _entertain_ his guest. She started screaming like she was trying to make herself heard outside the soundproofed walls. Good for her. And Tyros. 

Cal adjusted his collar and tried to think of Jesus or something. Instead, an idea came unbidden before any of his mental filters could stop it. What and how much would it take to make her scream like that? 

Still holding his hand and with the bottle in the other, Mare took a step closer to him, searching his face. 

“You’re blushing,” she murmured, wickedly amused. 

“I had too much to drink.” His voice was choked up. 

“Your hand is sweating.” Another step forward. Every time she took a breath, her chest rose slightly, bringing them closer. His temperature, however impossible it seemed, kept rising and suffocating him, filling him with that same restless energy that had started to accumulate when he’d seen her emerge from the crowd earlier tonight. 

“It’s hot in here,” he explained lamely. 

“Can’t disagree with that. Too much for you to handle, Calore?” 

He’d had his fun during the game, now it was her who had the advantage. So he yielded, speaking like a caress, drinking in the sight of her. 

“Too many people. I just want to be with you.” 

And it paid off. Watching all her little expressions, the glimpse of surprise at the admission in her parted pink lips, the creeping flush on her smooth golden skin. 

Mare blinked a few times as if she’d just walked into fog, and took a step back. “We should get out of here. Gossip travels fast.” She let go of his hand to grab a tumbler and fill it with ice. His hand not only felt empty, it felt as if she’d chopped off part of it. 

Glad to be out of there, they went back to the sunroom. Thankfully more vacated than the rest of the house, save for a few people vaping in a corner, assaulting his nostrils with popcorn and strawberries smell. 

Cal sat down on a couch, and throwing his head back he rubbed his temples, trying to make the room’s blurred lines come into focus. 

Mare poured a generous amount of bourbon for herself. 

"Are you sure you should keep-?" 

His words died on his lips when Mare, for the second time in the night, blessed his existence by sitting on his lap, frying his circuits. 

“I know my limits.” She looped her arm around the back of his neck. Her backside was comfortably settled on his crotch and the half hard-on he’d been sporting up until that point, jolted awake. Cal tried to shift so he wouldn’t stab her with it, but she ignored his efforts, contentedly sipping the amber drink. Not that a baseball bat was a bladed weapon you could stab someone with— _and oh my God, you did not just compare yourself to a baseball bat._ That was an extremely generous comparison. 

_Change the subject. Stop putting Mare and your dick in the same sentence._

“And what limit is that?” His voice was deceptively unaffected. 

“Until I forget why I started drinking in the first place,” she mumbled and took another sip. Cal longed for her to confide her feelings in him, but he wouldn’t pry. He suspected that if he tried, she would hermetically seal her emotional compartments like a sinking ship. 

“This is really good,” she chirped. “You should have some.” 

With clumsy movements, she changed her position and straddled him and Cal had to take a few subtle deep breaths to hold back from doing any of the millions of animalistic impulses he was riddled with all of the sudden. He couldn’t hold back from holding her narrow waist for dear life though, afraid his hands would go astray. 

“Here.” She pressed the glass against his lips and he parted them without taking his eyes off hers. But she wasn’t looking at him, or more like, she was staring at his lips with intensity to drill a hole through a concrete wall. “Do you think about our kiss?” She tipped the glass and he drank. The whisky burning his throat, the question burning his mind. She whispered his exact thoughts. “It’s all I think about.” 

She pulled the tumbler away from him and back to her wet lips. 

A song with some very explicit lyrics about things he’d been fantasizing about doing to the girl on top of him started playing. 

_Someone come and shoot him a tranquilizer dart, please._

“Is that good or bad?” His hands lowered to her waist. 

“Terrible. How do you la- learn- learned-” with the hand holding the glass, she pointed an accusing finger to his nose, struggling to form the words, “-to kiss like _that_ if you’re still a virgin?” 

The implication that he was a god kisser inflated his chest with pride. 

“When kissing is all you do, you become an expert,” he chuckled. 

“That’s all?” She asked disbelieving, chewing on her lower lip so furiously it worried him. He held her chin and with his thumb he stroked her lip to stop her, feeling the silky, plush flesh. 

“That’s it. But I’m a quick learner,” he supplied and immediately wanted to smack himself. He sounded so desperate, felt so desperate. Alcohol wasn't doing him any favors. 

"Ok, Cal. You don't have to beg." She said with mock exasperation. She finished the drink and dropped the glass to the side of the couch, then laced her arms around his neck. Her eyes were hot, dark chocolate. "I'll coach you." 

"Aren't you a charitable soul?" His voice lowered and he dragged Mare's body flush against his. 

A tiny gasp escaped her lips when she felt what she was doing to him. "Very." She whispered and went for it, hungrily pressing their mouths together. 

Cal let one of his hands travel to her bare thigh and he instantly regretted it, for her didn't want to touch anything but her skin ever again. He slid the fingers that had held her chin over her jawline, brushing the curve of her ear and then tangled it in the hair at the nape of her neck, adjusting her head to slide his tongue over her lips and into her mouth. She was all hard edges on the outside but soft and sweet inside. It made his blood thick and every heartbeat heavy as if he was being submerged into syrup. 

Her rapid breath caressed his skin as their mouths glided together as if they’d been made for each other. Mare settled a hand on the side of his neck, brushing her thumb along his pulse while the other wrapped around his back as she pressed herself even closer to him, her tender breasts rubbing on his chest as she rolled her hips. 

Cal let out a low groan every time she let her hot center rub his throbbing erection through the fabric of his jeans. 

“Is this payback for that last dare?” Cal’s hand had moved on its own accord up her thigh, his fingers under the elastic of her panties at her hipbone. And his other hand was splayed on the small of her back, also under the cotton of her shirt, grasping at her skin like he wanted to dig a hole and build his house there. When had they moved there? 

She mumbled something that sounded vaguely like _‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’._ She ignored him and kept kissing him. Even as he kissed her back, he started to feel something was wrong with Mare. Her movements started to become sloppier, even if they didn’t lose fervor. 

“Mare?” He cupped her face and pushed her back slightly. She groaned an incomprehensible complaint. “Mare are you ok?” 

Her eyelids dropped in ultra-slow motion and opened again. “’m pffn.” 

_Wasn't this fortunate?_ He should have opposed the bourbon request. A prickle of guilt and a stab of responsibility hit him in the gut. Their make-out session was officially canceled for the evening. His body was not a fan of this legislation. 

She needed to make it home safely, and it was his job to ensure that. 

For being such a small thing, she sure had a lot of strength. Prying her off him was a full body work out. 

“Don’t move, I’ll go find Warren.” He made sure to arrange her clothes before leaving her snuggled on the couch. 

“No,” she whined. “He doesn’t like you.” 

_No, shit._ Still, if he’d brought her to the party, and they seemed close friends, he sure as hell could take her back to her dorm. Cal would do it himself if he knew where it was. 

Walking felt a lot like a horse skating on a frozen lake, his limbs felt too light, his mouth like cotton, his movements alien and weird. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why he did not drink. 

Following Kilorn’s breadcrumbs of people he’d been annoying, he found him passed out, face down on the dining room floor, a bunch of sharpie dicks decorating his face. He kicked his foot and he got no reaction. 

“Goddamnit.” He muttered under his breath. “How long has he been like this?” 

A kid, looked like a freshman, face still covered in acne, was outlining the body with a domino wall. 

“A few hours. He kept repeating ‘It was supposed to be me’ or something.” He shrugged. 

Ok. Plan B. Eve knew Mare’s address. 

Locating her took no time at all. He had just sent her a text when he glanced out the big arched windows on the side of the house and spotted her. 

In the middle of the garden, surrounded by white fairy lights in the trimmed bushes, Evangeline and Elane were embraced in a passionate kiss. Eve held the shorter girl’s face like it was a fragile treasure. 

Attagirl. Cal smiled to himself and looked away from the intimate moment. He envied her for a moment, thinking if he was half as smart for romantic business, he could’ve wooed Mare with fairy lights and flowers and not with freaking _Drink or Dare._

So Evangeline was unavailable for the time being. Got it. 

He returned to Mare and the scene he was met with set off a violent, murderous rage inside of him. 

A creep had sat down next to her and slung his arm over her shoulders, pulling her to his side, despite her pushing him away with both hands even in her half-asleep state. “A kiss for daddy- OW!” Mare punched him square in the nose. 

The pleasing crack of bone rang in the air. She dozed off again and the guy bent forward, holding his probably broken nose. 

Cal ripped him away from her, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and choking him a little in the process. 

“What’s your name?” The sharp edge of his voice could’ve slit his throat. 

His eyes jumped out of his skull, blood dripping over his mouth when he saw who he was up against. “Shit, Cal. I didn’t know she was your girl. I’m sorry!” He raised his arms defensively. 

Son of a bitch. Cal wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp, but he was better than that. “Cantos!” 

The beefy player showed up not a minute after and Cal shoved the rat in his direction. 

“Make sure he tells you his name and get him blacklisted from every party on campus,” he snarled, already going for Mare. 

“You and I are going to get nicely acquainted, buddy,” Cantos laughed grabbing the back of the guy’s neck and pushing him away. 

Cantos was about to beat the shit out of that dude, and Cal, for once, wouldn’t be the one to stop him. 

He had to get Mare out of here ASAP. 

“Let’s get you into bed.” He pulled her up by the waist and her head bobbed, hitting his chest. Luckily, she could still walk more or less, dragging her feet. 

After what that guy had tried, he glared at every person that glanced in Mare’s direction. They moved out of the way before he got there, so it was pretty easy to get across the living room and to the staircase. 

“We’re leaving? You’re no fun,” Mare hit his chest as they climbed a couple of steps to the first landing. He was glad she didn’t employ the same force she had used with the creep. 

He was about to laugh and tell her that, when someone tugged the back of his shirt, making him whirl around. 

“Calore!” 

Lowering his eyes, they met with an agitated, not very friendly looking, Ann Walsh. Which was odd, because she was super nice all the time. 

“Where do you think you’re taking her?” 

“To my bedroom,” he furrowed his eyebrows. What was it to her? 

“I can see that.” She ascended the last steps and grabbed Mare’s forearm gently. “I can also see she’s in no condition to go.” 

Slowly, understanding at how this looked from Ann’s perspective dawned on him. He shook his head vigorously. 

“If she isn’t sober enough to walk on her own, she’s not sober enough to give consent.” Her voice shook but her resolve was steely. 

A wave of horror and respect hit him in equal measure. Horror because, being a dude, he never had to consider _that_ possible outcome the rare times he got drunk, and respect because God bless Ann for looking out for Mare. 

“I swear I’m just trying to put her to bed so she can sleep.” He looked into her eyes to convey the truth of his words. “I would never do that. But you’re right, it doesn’t look right. Can you take her to her place? I’ll pay for the Uber.” 

Ann relaxed visibly. “I don’t know where she lives. Maybe she can come to mine,” she pondered out loud. 

Mare awoke from her zombie-like state to wrinkle her nose and shake her head. 

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m going to his room.” She clumsily caressed Ann’s silky black hair. “I’ve been there before. It has a big ass bed.” 

“You sure?” the girl seemed hesitant, but let go of Mare’s arm. 

“Yes!” Mare smiled and started to drag him up the stairs, tripping on the steps as she went. 

Cal twisted his neck to look at Ann and give her some peace of mind. “I promise nothing will happen. I’ll tell her to text you as soon as she wakes up!” And they disappeared through the corridor. 

The fact that Mare remembered the way to his room when she’d only been there once was quite impressive. 

Another impressive thing about her was what a determined creature she was, even wasted. As soon as Cal closed the door behind him, she climbed his body like a Koala and started kissing his neck in a way that went straight to his lower abdomen. 

“Shit, Mare wait.” He tumbled over to the bed and inclined his body, trying to get rid of her death grip. Legs around his waist, arms around his neck. “We’re not sober enough. Didn’t you hear Ann?” 

“I don’t care.” She sucked on the flesh of his neck and started to lift his shirt. “I don’t care.” 

_Sweet Mary, Joseph, and Jesus_. It didn’t matter he would never touch her in this state, his dick hadn’t gotten the memo and was quickly hardening as his blood ran hotter. 

“Fuck.” He fell on top of her and grasped her ankles behind his back, forcefully unlocking them and pushing them down to the bed. Mare seized the opportunity to finally tug his T-shirt off. He jumped back, leaving his T-shirt in her crafty hands. 

The funny thing about it was that she didn’t open her eyes even once. 

Sensing her next movement, as she started to unzip her skirt and take it off, he reached for the comforter and rolled her up like a horny burrito. Landing on top of her to immobilize her. And that’s how you tamed her… or not. 

“Hey!” Mare craned her neck so her face wouldn’t be buried in the pillow. “We are not going to have sex?” she huffed, terribly inconvenienced. 

“No. Not tonight,” he panted. 

“Fuck you.” She mumbled and started contorting like a snake, her ass rubbing on his crotch. “You made so wet and for nothing.” 

His mind went black for a second from the sheer blunt force of the lust that hit him. This woman was a threat to his cardiovascular health. Groaning, he clambered away from her and into the bathroom. 

He washed his face with cold water and looked at himself in the mirror. How wrong would it be if he _roughened the subject_ while thinking about the girl on the other side of the door? Not only was he so turned on it hurt, he was royally fucked up. 

_Think sad thoughts, Cal. Think about how it felt to lose the game the other day_. Yeah, it wasn’t working. After long minutes, when it felt safe to go back there, he tiptoed his way around the bed, to look at her face. 

Blessedly asleep. Cal heaved a relieved sigh and slid down the wall next to the window until he was sitting on the floor. She looked so peaceful and angelical, her thick lashes brushing her high cheekbones, her puffy brown hair a lovely mess over his pillow, and her face. How was it possible for someone to willingly hurt her? 

A protective string pulled at his heart tighter and tighter and then wrapped around her lithe frame. There may be a chance he was falling in love- _Ouch!_ His head hit the carpeted floor. He was too dizzy and tired to straighten up. _Oor_ maybe he’d just been falling sideways. 

It remained to be seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All jokes aside, don't forget to be like Ann in real life, you never know when a girl might need it.


	5. Casual dates are the best (way to kill attraction)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super happy with your reactions to last chapter! writing it was quite the odyssey with everything that happened irl and hearing you guys liked it made it all worth it <3  
> Shoutout to @evermorewillow on tumblr. I hope your Elis are decent, lovely boys, and if not... No body, no crime 🔪

Chirping birds, the brightness of the sun, the soft murmur of a shower somewhere, the muffled sounds of male voices going about their day— hold on... Male voices? 

Mare braved a glance around and winced at the excess of natural light in the unfamiliar room. Her entire body felt as if it had been trampled like the father in The Lion King and her insides like she’d eaten a whole pie of poisoned apple and those were enough Disney references for the week. She opened her eyes again and rubbed the sleep from them. 

Currant red wallpaper, a leather loveseat next to the window, a neat desk in the corner, bookshelves filled with books and model planes. And of course, the framed autographed football shirts. Ok, she did recognize this room. It was Cal’s bedroom! She thought relieved... 

_It was Cal’s bedroom_. She shot upright, sitting on the big empty bed, her legs tangled in the bedsheets and the comforter like she’d been on a death match with them. Nausea kicked her in the gut and her mouth filled with saliva. 

What the fuck was she doing here? 

She took a few steadying breaths and patted her body, doing a general assessment of her status. Hair, a rat’s nest. Mouth, ready to barf. T-shirt and boobs, still in place. Kidneys, lack of new stitches indicated they were still there. Skirt, unzipped but there. Panties, there. Shoes... lying by the door. Everything indicated she’d just slept here, but why? 

She got to her feet and started looking about the room, playing a super fun detective game called: We are never drinking ever again. 

Something was poking out of the pocket of the skirt. A gift card? Her right hand was slightly bruised and swollen, it hurt to move her fingers. 

Her phone was on the bed. When she tried to unlock it, it was dead. Thankfully, there was a charger next to the nightstand. And just her luck, she inwardly cursed, it was an iPhone charger. 

Straining her memory, she seemed to remember Kilorn being an annoying shit, her changing into this outfit to come to a party here, but other than that, her mind was completely blank. No, that was a lie; there were songs, tastes and most prominently, a woodsy fresh smell impregnated her no-memory of the whole night. Before she could grab her shoes and set on her _Prison break: Cal’s bedroom edition_ 2.0, the en suite bathroom’s door opened in her face. 

There he was, the missing puzzle piece, surrounded by a cloud of steam, gracing the universe with his glistening, hard pair of absurdly wide pecs. On the left one, he had a tattoo of big watercolor purple flowers. An invisible hand snaked into her lungs and ripped the oxygen from her as she stared at the droplets of water traveling down his chiseled 6-pack and sinking into the towel wrapped around his waist. Now, that was a washboard she wouldn’t mind scrubbing until her knuckles were raw. 

“Morning,” he said, forcing her eyes up. Jeez, she was such a creep. There was a kind if somewhat unsure expression on his face. “Did you sleep well?” 

_Morning breath!_ Her last remaining brain cell alerted her before she could open her mouth. She offered him a tight-lipped smile and moved around him, pointing her thumb to the bathroom. 

“Yes, of course,” he blurted out and stepped aside to let her in. “Let me know if you need-” 

She closed the door, went straight to the sink, and started to drink water like she had been taking a 5-hour stroll through the Sahara Desert. She would actually kill for an Alka-Seltzer but she didn’t expect him, a good healthy boy who never drank to have one at hand. Still, she opened the mirror cabinet to make sure. Pomades, pain relief cream, aftershave, cologne, no painkillers in sight. He had to be a masochist. 

After making good use of the floss and the mouthwash, she felt more of a human and less of a feral lion. The same thing couldn’t be said for her hair, her scrunchie had been lost to the night, as they usually did, and was a lost cause. 

Before she closed the cabinet, her gaze lingered on the boujee cologne. Should she...? Double-checking the door was closed with a quick glance, she opened the glass bottle and sniffed it. Her eyes closed on their own accord. 

This was the smell she remembered from the night. Like running over fallen pine needles during a crisp winter morning, it was amazing. The scent brought back some disjointed sensations and memories that made her feel all fluttery inside. Rough hands, warm breaths mingling together, a carved marble face against hers. 

_“Too many people. I just want to be with you.”_ The voice was so clear she flinched and almost dropped the bottle. The context was unclear, but the vehemence in his words had made the world shift under her feet. And now, the memory caused that same effect. 

Mare closed the bottle and left it where it belonged. Then she made sure her clothes were more or less presentable before going back outside. 

A loud exhale left her lips when she saw him sitting in the chair by the desk; Cal was still as outragingly beautiful as 5 minutes ago, even in his plain white T-shirt and sweatpants. He looked up from his phone screen to her and smiled. 

“I brought you this.” He pointed at a glass of water and two tablets on the desk. “I thought you might need it.” 

“Thank you,” she croaked as she rushed to his side, plopped the tablets in the glass, and downed it after they dissolved. “I feel like shit and I think I punched somebody.” 

His smile faltered and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “You mean you don’t remember anything?” 

Mare perched herself on the edge of the desk, the side of her leg brushing Cal’s knee, and she tried again. All that came forward were images of his debauched, and at one point covered in paint, face, and his mouth saying random words like _‘gut feeling’_ or _‘charitable soul’_. She remembered that because his lips had looked painfully kissable then. 

“Mare?” shit, she’d been staring at his lips again. 

“I mean, there was a party. Right?” 

He considered her for a moment, knitted brow, lips pressed into a concerned line. It was starting to worry her. “Maybe this will bring back some memories.” He looked for something on his phone, then stood next to her to show her an Instagram story. 

If she’d been connected to an EKG monitor, a horrible, prolonged, acute beep would’ve pierced her eardrums when she realized what she was watching. 

There she was, sitting in Cal’s lap, then cheering with silly pompoms, then... sweet baby Jesus. Cal looked away and cleared his throat when he showed her that one, the one where he kneeled before her and sunk his head between her legs. By unlocking that particular memory that didn’t show up clearly in the stories, when his tongue had claimed her as if they were conducting some animalistic mating ritual, the rest followed like people bursting from the subway car on rush hour. 

“Ah.” 

And she remembered _everything_. From the game and her pathetic breakup to the dancing and kissing and her promise to him. _“I’ll coach you.”_

_Seriously? I’ll coach you?!_ _Who do you think you are Mare Barrow? Megan Fox? Bella Thorne?_ She was in no position to be teaching anyone how to navigate their sexuality when she was barely starting to get the hang of hers. She could count with her hands the number of people she’d slept with (hands and feet if you considered heavy petting sessions). 

“It’s coming back.” She made a rewind motion with her hand next to her temple. “Yeah. It was an uhm... eventful night.” Her voice was too close to a hysteric squeal to her taste. 

“Listen, if you want to forget it happened-” Cal moved in front of her with a strained expression, probably to give her a sanctimonious speech about how he didn’t bind her to her words and _blah blah blah_. She reached for his corded forearm. 

“No. I don’t want to forget anything, and I do want to receive your pass,” she blurted out. She would feel ashamed if she hadn’t said something far needier before she fell asleep on his bed last night. 

His shoulders sagged with relief and he braced his hands on the desk, on either side of her waist, invading her space. The mahogany desk didn’t budge an inch, surprisingly sturdy. Something to keep in mind. 

Cal’s lips twisted in a crooked smirk. “And you’ll go for a touchdown?” 

_Yeah, I’ll touch you down and up and sideways_. Mare blushed furiously but still managed to pretend to look baffled, scrunching up her face. “Bold of you to assume I know what the hell is that.” 

He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling with joy and making her feel uncharacteristically giddy. Her stomach ached suddenly and she was glad for the excuse to do something other than _touchdowning_ him into oblivion. 

“Let’s go grab some breakfast.” 

As soon as she said it, the painful memory of her first date with sweet, unassuming Eli appeared on her mind. He had shown her the best bagel place in Harbor Bay, and last night (if he hadn’t done it before) he’d shoved his tongue down another woman’s throat, and who knew what else. When she’d kissed another, it had been because she’d thought it was him. It wasn’t the same. The hurt over their break up was nothing at all compared to the fact that she’d been betrayed. And now she was making her way back into the joyless relationship ride when the corpse of _Eli x Mare_ was still oozing purulent blood? Hell nah. 

All those things ran through her mind in the blink of an eye. Cal’s face lit up. 

“It’s _not_ a date,” she rushed to add. “Actually, you don’t have to come at all if you don’t feel like it. I only offered because you let me sleep in your bed and that was very kind of you.” 

His disappointment stung a little, when he stopped wagging his invisible tail, and his joy went down to contentment. Cal straightened up and took a step back. 

He nodded with a sincere, yet weak smile. “Sure. I didn’t feel like cooking anyway.” 

“First I need to get some things from my dorm. Is that ok?” 

Another nod. 

_Phew, nice save_. She patted herself on the back. 

~🚌~🚌~ 

_Whyy?_ For a glorious second, they were going on their first official date, and the next she dismissed him like he was a door-to-door salesman. At least they were going, that was something. 

He had plenty of time to consider his life decisions the 20 minutes she left him waiting a block away, sitting on a bench, leaning back and staring at the clear blue sky. Needless to say, she didn’t want people to see him hanging out near her dorm. It was too soon, he reasoned, for them to be seen together. What would people think of her? But Mare didn’t strike him as the kind of person who cared what others thought of her. 

A notification popped up on his phone screen, one that he cared about, that was. Mare had approved his follow request and followed back. It made him happier than it should have. 

“I have almost 200 follow requests,” Mare let him know with a quirked eyebrow. She showed up in ripped black jeans, a purple tank top, and a bomber jacket at least two sizes too big, she had to roll up her sleeves. Hair wet from the shower, she tucked a strand behind her ear, as she scowled at the influx of followers on her phone screen. 

To him, her overnight fame came as no surprise. It was almost offensive how gorgeous she was, no wonder people wanted to see her more often after seeing her once. The worse thing about the way she carried herself was that she has this aggressive _‘Yes, I’m beautiful. What about it?’_ energy that hit you square in the chest and left you breathless. 

“Don’t accept them,” he shrugged and got to his feet, retrieving his hoodie from the backrest. 

“I accepted yours. Didn’t I?” She gave him an amused look and put the phone away. 

“You shouldn’t accept people you don’t know.” 

He walked next to her, still in the dark about where were they going. 

“You have yours public. Nice workout routines, by the way.” Cal grinned at the compliment. He was pretty proud of those. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say those are thirst traps.” 

His grin disappeared. It wasn’t his fault he looked good while doing the public a totally selfless service. 

“That’s not my MO. But thanks for letting me know you felt thirsty watching them.” He elbowed her lightly and waited for her reaction. 

Mare twisted toward him to glare at him, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. 

“Where was this energy last night?” she muttered under her breath as they reached the bus stop. 

A: his mind had been muddled by alcohol. B: all that stuff Ann had said about consent, he agreed 100%. And C: he’d been afraid to say the wrong thing and push her into a break down for forcing her to dump her boyfriend 

“Where are we going?” He asked once they got on the nearly empty bus, and sat at the very back. The seats were too narrow for his frame and the side of their bodies were forced into contact. Forced was a strong word, more like gently nudged and he didn’t mind the warmth. He put his hoodie over his lap, just in case. 

“To Oceania street. I like the grilled cheese they sell in a coffee shop there.” 

Oceania street was a very touristy location on the riverfront of Regent River. It was also halfway across Harbor Bay. 

“A 20-minute bus drive for grilled cheese?” he asked without much enthusiasm, feeling discomfort swirling in his stomach. “Or are you trying to get us as far away from campus as you can?” 

“30 minutes,” she looked past him and out the window, watching the grand limestone academic buildings from campus and the ancient oak trees blur as they passed them by. “And I would think you already staked your claim on me pretty loud and clear, with everything that happened yesterday.” Though her words were harder than a slap, her tone was lighthearted. 

“I’m sorry,” he said on reflex. 

She turned her astute brown eyes to him, a mischievous glint in them. “No, you’re not.” 

Well, fuck him. He really wasn’t. What he really was, was anxious over this entire thing, his pseudo-newborn-relationship with Mare, being out of his control and veering in unpredictable directions. 

“You’re right, I’m not. But I do regret having forced you into a compromising situation.” 

Mare cackled so loudly an elder lady sitting in the front gave them a disapproving look. Cal raised his hand and bowed his head in a silent apology, but Mare was unbothered. 

“Cal, you couldn’t force me to open a door for you, much less my legs.” Now it was his turn to guffaw, his body folding forward and almost hitting his forehead against the front seat. Mare smiled at him and covered his mouth with her tiny hand, pushing him back into safety. “As I was saying, you didn't force me. 

“Eli and I had our days numbered, if anything I took the excuse,” she explained as Cal removed her hand from his face but didn’t let go of it. He dropped their joined hands over his thigh and she let him. “I didn’t know he was cheating on me, though,” she said with a minuscule, very well-hidden trace of bitterness. 

His heart ached for her. 

“He did not deserve you.” _Did anyone?_ It still didn’t answer his initial question. “Then why—?” 

“Can’t we talk about something else?” She averted her gaze back to the front of the bus. “Like, why did you get that tattoo?” 

Uhm... what? 

“I don’t have any tattoos,” he pinched his brow. 

She twisted on the seat to face him and dig a thin finger from her free hand into his left pec. “Then what is this?” 

Ah, she’d seen him shirtless and with good illumination when he’d left the bathroom and her reaction, her unguarded wide eyes, had been priceless. If he could plug his brain into a screen and replay a moment, that would be it. Well, and a few others but that one was at the top of the list. He realized what she was talking about and smirked. 

“it’s not a tattoo.” He proudly pressed his palm over his heart. “It’s evidence from when you kicked me.” 

“That’s mine?” she asked delighted and Cal couldn’t help his heart from frantically beating under his palm, sending in Morse code something he wouldn’t dare to say out loud. 

_That and every inch of skin around it, from the moment you kissed me, kicked me. It’s just waiting for you._

“By that logic,” he casually said, leaning into her so he could speak low, velvet words into her ear. “If I bruise you here-” Barely brushing his knuckles below her ear, over her pretty neck, he drew a soft gasp out of her. “Or here.” His hand ran down to her collarbone and her hitched breath warmed him. He wanted more of that sound already. “Would that make it mine?” 

~🚌~🚌~ 

This had to be a disease, an infection of some kind. The way her insides melted into a hot pile of goo with a brush of fingers and his thick, low voice could not be normal. Mare reluctantly pushed him back into his space, not because she didn’t want him near, but because his determination to disarm her scared and thrilled her in equal measure. To the point she barely managed to hold his piercing gaze. 

She could foresee, that if she said _yes,_ even as a joke, Cal would take it to heart and kiss her _everything_ like it was his job. Heat rose within her, twisted her stomach into knots as she stared into his burning eyes. A determined boy indeed. 

“That’s not what I meant,” she chastised him and turned to the front again, squeezing his hand. “All those head concussions are messing with your comprehension skills.” 

Cal slit his eyes at her, the beginning of a roguish grin on his lips. “You didn’t say no.” 

And she wouldn’t say it. If the sole idea of his mouth on her skin did _this_ to her, she sure as hell wanted to get the real deal. 

“I won’t dignify that nonsense with an answer.” Still not a _no_ and he noticed, grinning wider. 

Pleased, he settled on his seat again and looked for something in the pocket of his hoodie. He procured an Airpods case, took one, and offered the other to her. 

“Music?” 

“You better don’t play shit.” She took one and gave him a serious side-eye when Maroon 5 started playing. Cal laughed and changed the music with his phone. 

“I’m messing with you,” he nudged her in the ribs. “This is what I like.” He touched something on the screen and then pointed an accusing finger to her face. “Don’t be judgy.” 

Mare chuckled and batted the hand away. An upbeat 80s song with nonsensical lyrics started playing, followed by other old happy songs that made her feel nostalgic for a time she had never lived. And she wasn’t sure, as she rested the side of her head on his shoulder, if she actually liked the music, or if getting a glimpse into who Cal was, turned it into the best music in the world. 

~🚌~ 

“And there she is!” Kilorn got to his feet and dusted off his backside. He’d been sitting on her dorm room entrance along with Shade. While his brother seemed relieved to see her, her friend was more rattled about her late appearance. “Where the hell have you been?” 

It was 9 pm and the only person she’d bothered to text in the entire day had been Ann Walsh, on Cal’s request. She’d been otherwise preoccupied with her not-date, eating junk food, wandering around the picturesque Oceania walk, talking about life, and making out with possibly the hottest guy on the planet after Michael B. Jordan (third if she considered Gregory Peck in his _To Kill a Mockingbird_ days). Excuse her if she had ignored the hellish device for nearly 12 hours. 

“Out. Clearly.” She drawled and popped her mint chewing gum. 

Shade shook his and walked over to her to give her a quick, brotherly, _you’re-a-brat-but-I-still-love-you_ hug. 

“We were worried,” Shade calmly explained and she scowled at him, going around him to step on the first step to be in less height disadvantage. She would not look up to two dudes lecturing her like a child; there was something sexist about it. She couldn’t pinpoint what, but she was sure of it. 

“Since when do you care how I spend my weekend?” 

“Since when do you go above and beyond to impress those trust fund assholes?” Kilorn rebuked and Mare lifted her eyebrows. 

So this is how it was going to be. 

“What Kilorn means-” Shade pressed a palm to her friend’s chest to shut him up, giving him a pointed look. “-is that your behavior in the videos that had been circling campus all day long was a little odd. I just wanted to check you weren’t drugged and on the way to have your vital organs sold to the black market.” 

“I’m fine. And Kilorn was there!” 

“I wasn’t there when they made you dump Eli for show.” 

Oh, Eli. Undesirable number one of the day. She’d had to block his number and social media to avoid his pathetic attempts to reach her. 

“He was here this morning.” Kilorn continued. His hurt was a bit too deep to be regular ol’ Kilorn being silly. And the fact that he’d never even liked Eli in the first place made her wonder where was this actually coming from. “The guy looked wrecked.” 

“Good!” Mare replied coldly. “Did you miss the part of the story where he fucking cheated on me?” 

That made him pause, his face twisted in concern. “He did? What a stinking bastard.” 

“My job here as a responsible big brother is done, kiddos.” Shade smacked their backs harder than necessary. “Kilorn, stop pestering Mare. Mare, just check your fucking texts from your concerned friends, ok?” 

She rolled her eyes but nodded. Shade started to walk away but whipped around tapping a finger on his chin, amber eyes glinting with curiosity. He was about to say something dumb. 

“Are you and _Calore_ a thing now?” he pronounced the name like there was something funny about it. 

“No!” Kilorn and Mare cried at the same time, then shared an annoyed look. 

Shade raised his palms in the air. “Just asking. Farley...” His tone was almost apologetic as if he was going to explain something, but he changed his mind. “Nevermind.” And he walked away into the night. 

“I overreacted a little.” Kilorn kicked the step she was standing on and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “But you have to admit last night was _weird_. As if you were flirting with that dude or something.” He said awkwardly, only then looking back at her face. 

There was a whirlpool of contradicting emotions in her stomach. She tried to reassure him with a dismissing wave of her hand and a half-smile. Kilorn hated Cal’s guts, and there was no reason to antagonize her best friend over a fuck buddy, at best. 

“I’m not with Cal...ore. Calore. And I’ll never be.” She hoped the casual mention of his name went unnoticed. “I’m done with relationships. I intend to finish the semester blissfully single.” 

Kilorn barked a short laugh. “Pff, no you won’t!” 

Mare’s resolve steeled with the challenge and she raised her chin. “You’ll eat your words, Kilorn Warren. Men are useless things.” 

“You have long 9 weeks ahead of you, my dear friend.” Kilorn’s shit-eating grin was going to make her lose her temper all over again. 

She climbed up the rest of the steps, to the glass double doors and gave him a sardonic smile. “9 weeks I’ll spend studying, thank you very much.” She went into the building and didn’t look back to the blond gremlin dedicated to testing her patience. 

Mare was a modern woman. She could very well get her big O’s from a guy that was the embodiment of everything her friends (and her, sometimes) stood against, and dedicate her body and soul to keep being an exceptional student. No need to involve her heart, other than for blood pumping purposes, into the matters. 

When she reached her room, her phone vibrated with a notification and it was a text from Cal. 

_«Did you get to your room safely?»_

She kicked her sneakers off and replied with a thumbs up. 

_«Great_ 😃 _Do you want to hang out tomorrow?»_

Her stomach flipped around her body like a puppy chasing a butterfly. _'9 weeks’_ Her stupid happy grin froze in place. She changed the ID name from _Cal_ to _T. from physics_ and typed a reply. 

_«Yes! I had so much fun today»_ then deleted it. Ugh.

 _«Sure»_ delete again.

«👍» Perfect. 


	6. it isn't all about the homerun (3rd base though)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: in case it wasn't clear, this is rated E. This chapter is strongly NSFW, so keep that in mind.

~☔~

_“Good Monday everyone! It’s 7.30 am, it’s 68° degrees and there’s a 30 percent chance that it’s already raining! And if you don’t know where that quote is from, I kindly invite you to skip your morning class to watch one of the greatest white folk’s cinematic achievements: Mean girls, 2004, by director Mark Waters. It’s actually 65° degrees but It's close enough._

_"In this morning news, Dean Arven agreed to convene a new assembly to discuss the matter of eco-friendly paper straws and the used books fair, this time including representatives from the businesses on campus. On national news, a hoard of angry pigeons interrupted the parliament session last Friday while the electoral reform was being voted. Was this a calculated move by the conservative party to, pardon the pun, crap all over the efforts to improve Norta’s democracy? Diana Farley will speak more about this in a few minutes. On a more lighthearted note, our sports correspondent has some juicy statements from the Silver Eagles, who finally broke the silence about what the heck happened in last week’s game and their plans against New Town college._

_Before I leave you with our smartest, best-looking host, I’ll have to ask you guys to stop asking and sending things about my sister. I get it, we the Barrows have a magnetic pull, but it’s getting weird and it’s frankly creepy. This is Shade Barrow speaking, and Harbor U, says hello to you!”_

The only reason Mare Barrow had an 8 am class on a Monday, no less, was because she’d misplaced her trust and student ID in a long-time classmate's hands at the beginning of the semester. Ella, taking some liberties, had then decided to make 80% of their schedules match. 

Ella’s blue hair stood out even in the midst of hundreds of students, huddled together with her friend and fellow fan of eccentric hair colors,  Rafe , at the back of the auditorium.

There was something off about today, and she would have noticed sooner what it was if she hadn’t been listening to her brother’s radio show on the headphones. What she did notice, as she left her dorm room earlier, as she parked her bike outside of The Fishbowl, and as she climbed the steps to join her friends, were the lingering looks and the abrupt stop of conversations. 

Did they stare because the rain jacket in her hands was leaving a trail? No, others had theirs at their feet and no one was paying attention to _ them _ .

Mare had to choose a seat behind her friends’ row because in the seat they’d saved for her, the view was obstructed by a wannabe Rapunzel’s high bun larger than Jupiter. #ShortGirlProblems

Taking a seat, she pulled the earbuds’ cord and they fell into her lap. Ella and  Rafe whipped around in their seats and clung to the backrests like they were about to pounce on her. She didn't even have time to get her things from her backpack.

“You slut!”  Rafe squealed and Mare gave him a pointed glare that made him tone it down to a whispered shout. “Why didn’t you tell us you went from eating microwaved noodles to a full course meal at a five Michelin stars restaurant?”

Mare’s eyebrows arched into the stratosphere. “Uh?”

“You and Cal Calore!” Ella supplied excitedly, pursing her lips, and wagging an eyebrow. “Is it true he went down on you in the Manor’s playroom and made you come in under 3 minutes?”

Heat rushed to her cheeks in a stampede. No coffee could have woken her up more violently than the topic of conversation.

“ Ew ,”  Rafe smacked Ella’s shoulder and joined his palms as in prayer. “Ignore her. What I’m dying to know is: how big is  his cock?” He looked to the sky as he said. “I just know he is _ big _ . I have an instinct for these things. Tell me when to stop...” he started to separate his palms wider and wider.

Mare was no prude but her eyes shot out of their sockets when she understood what he meant.

“Damn, really?” the space between his palms grew longer. “Really?!” 

“Stop that!” Mare slapped his hand down. “I’m not giving you a topographic description of his anatomy!” she whispered indignantly.

“Sorry, sorry,” he didn’t look sorry at all. “It’s just, I’ve never personally met someone who ate the Calore buffet before. Have you, Ella darling?”

Ella shook her head and raised a shoulder in an apologetic shrug. “Me neither.  Calore is famous amongst gods for keeping his hookups super discreet.”  _ So discreet they are nonexistent. _ “Because he only bangs models and politician's wives.”

Mare bit her tongue to avoid cackling like a maniac. So hard she drew blood. 

“I didn’t sleep with him, I wouldn't know,” she said seriously, taking her notebook and pen to show them just how unbothered she was.

Ella and Rafe shared a sly look and then looked back at her with profoundly skeptical narrowed eyes.

“And I’m a fire bender, from the fire nation.” Ella batted her eyelashes. “And nobody saw you two going to his room, being all touchy-feely during the party on Saturday.”

Gossip spread fast in Harbor Bay Uni. This is what Shade had mentioned on the radio. She seethed in silence, counting to ten so she wouldn’t start flipping tables.

“People need to mind their own fucking business,” she said loudly, aware that they had half of the auditorium craning their necks to eavesdrop on their conversation. “And, if you must know, he took me to his room because I was totally shit-faced and he is a decent human being. He didn’t even sleep in the bed.” Since it was true, it was easy to sound convincing.

Rafe pouted, disappointed. “But like, are you planning to tap that?”

Mare sighed and was thankful when the professor showed up at the front of the room and started reminding them of the presentation date for a project that was 25% of this semester’s grade. It gave her an excuse to ignore the moth explosion inside her belly. And _ no _ , they weren’t butterflies, they were moths.

“Nope.” She lowered her gaze to her notes and pretended to read. “I don’t have the time nor the energy to flirt with a guy who couldn’t be less interested in me.”

~☔~☔~

The  _ ‘guy who couldn’t be less interested in her’ _ replied to her text letting him know she was free from 3 to 5 in record time. Cal had been all over the place, vibrating with anxious energy, waiting for her to make the first move today. 

After the cutting way she had texted him back after their date ( _ Not _ a date), he’d decided to let her come to him. 

Watching her scowl at pretentious art pieces but admire graffiti murals in the alleys she’d randomly shoved him into to make out, or passionately discussing why a bought grilled cheese tasted better than a homemade one, had been absolute rose-colored perfection. But that was him. Maybe she was already sick of him.

That’s why he didn’t hesitate in telling her, he did, in fact, have a free hour in that reduced time slot. 

If that was what she could give him, he would take it and make the most of it.

The rain that had been punishing the bay for the entire morning turned into a downpour as he left the classroom as if his seat had turned into the electric chair.

Her final text had a pinned location on a map and it read: _ There’s a gap between the bushes in the back street, go through there and then the 5 _ _ th _ _ window to the right _ . 

If a part of him told him it was a tad undignified she was hiding him yet  again, he shoved that voice into a mental locker like a high school sitcom bully. He would ponder about the limits of his pride _ after _ seeing her.

Cal followed the indications and was pleased to see her inside, waiting by the window. A modern-day Botticelli in a Harbor Uni hoodie and running shorts, the Venus would see her and weep. The windowsill was 5 feet above the ground but he didn’t have a problem climbing it as she lifted the window open, grinning brightly. Just for him.

He’d thought about a couple of jokes or witty comments to make about the curious way he was entering the room, such as quoting the  _ ‘Parkour!’ _ sketch __ from The Office, but as soon as his body was in front of hers, he only managed to drop his backpack, grab her waist and pull her into him.

Mare was so much shorter than him and, while he was fond of that aesthetic detail, right now he needed to have her at the best kissing angle. He lifted her off the ground and she instinctively locked her legs around him and giggled against his mouth. A surge of affection like the rain hitting the window drenched him inside out and he slowly brushed his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth and he was thrilled she kissed him back with anxious hunger to match his own. 

She tasted of coffee, smelled of petrichor and jasmine, and felt like an extension of himself he’d been missing for 21 years.

Once the anxiety in his muscles melted away under her touch, he slowed the kiss to a pace that left room for breathing. 

Raking her fingers through his hair, she pushed back the wet strands and gave him a chaste press of lips before speaking. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He echoed dumbly, looking into her amused, sparkling gaze. “What’s up?”

“Not much. You look like you went for a swim.”

“In your eyes? And I drowned there,” he rasped out. 

Mare glowered at him, nose scrunched up, but then chuckled.

“Didn’t you have an umbrella?” She unwrapped her legs so he let her go. 

The thing is, he had carried an umbrella earlier, it was in his backpack, but on his run here it would’ve slowed him down. That’s why he did not use it. He wasn’t about to expose himself like that though. 

A shrug should suffice as an answer.

Mare clicked her tongue. “Take off your clothes before you ruin my carpet.” She managed to rob the first part of the sentence of any sexy connotations and she went to grab a plastic laundry basket. She placed the basket under the window so he could hang his socks, shirt, and jeans over it, and his sneakers on the ledge. His grey T-shirt and boxer briefs were mostly spared from the rain.

He took one of the little succulents they had to move out of the way to make room for his clothes and held it up. 

“Yours?”

Mare blinked several times before answering with an unusually high pitch.

“From my roommate, Ada. She remembers how to take care of the little fuckers. I can only deal with low maintenance, hence...” she directed his gaze to a cluttered desk filled with circuits, cables, books, and an Aloe Vera precariously placed in a corner.

The room was smaller than his, even though two people lived here. Two twin-size beds, one against the window wall, the other closer to the door, and the shared built-in closet. There was no division but there might as well have been a forcefield because each part couldn't be more different than the other.

Mare must have noticed him staring from one part to the other because she smirked challenging him. “Which one suits you better?” 

He started pacing, propping his chin over a fist, and looking around pretentiously as if he was in an art gallery. Never mind he was practically naked.

The window half of the room was all pastel fabrics and pastel stationery, all freakishly organized. This Ada girl must be one intimidating creature. 

The opposite half was a neatly organized chaos. Family pictures on a corkboard, a Colombian flag, and dried flowers over the bed. In the nightstand, there was a single book that seemed almost decorative, but when Cal walked closer, he saw it was a worn paperback, with yellowed pages and a bookmark.

_ Selected poems by Gabriela Mistral _ he mentally translated the Spanish title. Opening the page where the bookmark was, he barely had a chance to read the title of the poem and get overwhelmed with the number of messy notes surrounding it, when Mare snatched the book from his hands and put it back in its original place.

“Poetry? nice,” he supplied, impressed, quirking the corners of his mouth down. He would have never guessed it was something she liked. He had imagined she spent her free time receiving offerings from her many, disposable suitors, clad in dominatrix gear and sending the ones she did not like to lash themselves. That, or dismantling computers or whatever engineering majors did.

“ _ Todas _ __ _ íbamos _ _ a ser reinas _ ?” man, he really had to brush up his Spanish; he was about as fluent as a duck. She looked up at him with a cautious expression. “We were Queens?”

“ _ We were all  _ _ to be Queens _ .” She  corrected him  looking smug  and pushed him to the bed  behind him. He opposed no resistance and sat down. “ And you’re not here for  literature tutoring.”

“I’m not? Huh," he scratched his temple, acting confused. “I was sure you were meant to teach me something though.”

“Will this help you remember?” she said and she tugged her hoodie off in a swift move. 

Lo and behold, she was wearing nothing but a pale pink bralette and her boobs were just in front of his face. His blood rushed down so quickly he got lighthearted for a moment. Despite her tough demeanor, she was all subtle curves and soft angles, and her ripe breasts could easily fit in his palm but right now he wanted to fit one in his mouth.

_ Now, say something seductive, or funny, or anything. Act like a functioning human being! _

“I didn’t think you’d own anything pink,” he blurted out. 

She placed her hands on her hips and lifted her shoulders, a pleased smile lighting up her face. “Have to keep ‘ em guessing. Scoot over.” She motioned with her fingers for him to move further into the bed. He followed her example and lay down sideways on the bed, propping his torso up with his elbow. 

This bed was so tiny it was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because for both of them to fit, they had to be almost pressed together, and a curse because he’d never had more uncomfortable arrangements in his life, not even when he’d been on a month-long safari through Kenya. Hmm, maybe those who spoke of privileged upbringings were onto something.

“Give me your hand.” Mare lifted her palm and he did the same. She killed the distance until their palms were pressed together. He turned them slightly so he could observe with a sudden tug of tenderness how his big, calloused one dwarfed her work-hardened hand.

Mare’s thoughts, however, seemed to be other than tenderness, if the dark desire in her eyes or the blush of her cheeks was anything to go by.

“Today, Cal,” she licked her lips and locked her eyes with him. Despite seeming a bit nervous, she pulled through, shaking voice and everything. “You’re going to learn how to properly masturbate a member of the opposite sex.”

His mouth went dry. He didn’t even hear what came after the word masturbate. Still, he nodded like a bobblehead on a bumpy road.

“So,” she cleared her throat, clearly hating every word that left her mouth, but they had the opposite effect on him, making his sly smirk wider. “These are the basics. These three-” she touched his middle, index fingers, and thumb, “-are the ones you’ll be using the most for  uhm ... direct stimulation. That’s not to say you can’t  erm ... use your entire hand for a more general recognition of the area.” And she broke. “Oh fuck’s sake, dude. Let me just show you a video.”

Cal laughed throwing an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. He kissed her temple and looked adoringly into her flustered face.

“I appreciate your valiant efforts, Mare. But I did some research, read some very descriptive tutorials.”

“You asshole!” She punched him in the tit and he laughed harder. “And you let me speak all that nonsense!”

“Because it sounded so wonderful coming from your lips!” He meant that. Lovely to witness and a massive turn on.

“I’ll kick you from my room right this moment, Cal,” she threatened him with a glare but her lips twitched with a suppressed smile. “Don’t think I won’t”

“Oh but then I wouldn’t have anybody to put all this wonderful new knowledge to test.”

“Fine,” she kept the offended tone. “Consider this a pop quiz.” Mare grabbed his face with both hands and laid down on the bed, dragging him with her and into a rough, deep kiss.

Shit, so this was happening. It was one thing to read about it and another to actually dive into the vast world of sex. What if he hurt her? What if he messed up so badly she cut him off? His bravado evaporated like a drop of water on a red-hot pan. He pulled away and, while he intended to sound like he was joking, his voice came out a vulnerable shaky breath.

“You’ll tell me if I fuck up too badly, right?” 

Mare pushed his face a bit so she could search his face with an odd look, as if she was seeing him for the first time, then she softened and nodded once, solemnly. “I’ll help you.”

He felt an immense gratitude  swell in his chest  and he joined their lips again. This was the confirmation that his trust had been well placed. 

Mare snaked her hands under his T-shirt and started getting acquainted with his chest and abdomen, grabbing and digging her fingers like she was trying to sculpt him in clay. Cal shivered and his desire clouded everything else as he let his hand run down from her waist to her hipbone, moving her so he could place his thigh between her smooth legs. The  brand-new contact appeased a beast that only wanted more, so he nibbled on her lower lip and grabbed her ass to bring her closer. Closer. Closer. 

Mare drew a jerky gasp and holding on to his back she rolled her hips, moving her center along his thigh. A growl reverberated inside his chest and when her leg brushed his  hardness, he saw stars for a second.

“No, I shouldn’t do  that ,” she  stopped abruptly and he wanted to  grab her hips and move them himself if it meant Mare enjoyed it.  “You’re supposed to learn from this experience ,” she explained breathlessly .

“ I’m a good student and I want  to make you come. We can have both.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed his leg down to leave room for his hand, which she grabbed by the wrist and removed from her rear, only to safely tuck it under the waistband of her shorts and over her panties. 

He was used to his mind  short-circuiting when he was with Mare by now, but this time, when he felt her warm sex under his fingers, all of his muscles gave out. Cal buried his face in the crook of her neck. One line of thought available. 

“I like you, Mare. I really do.” And his muscles were back in working order. With an energy overload. He started moving his hand back and forth, trying to imitate the arc and pace she’d used moments ago, assessing her reaction to see what felt good. His mouth found a particularly kissable spot right  where he’d landed and he kissed and sucked on the skin. 

“Yeah,” it came out like a whine. “ I like you too. ”

The voracious creature that lived in the muscle of his heart eat up the words letter by letter. He was starved of many things, and this felt like a basic need. 

Placing her hand over his, she gently guided him under her panties and to the sensitive bundle of nerves, then lower to her entrance and back to her clit coating it with her own wetness. If he wasn’t burning from the inside out before, he was now. Cal started rubbing circles there. He was certain he’d never been harder in his life, his manhood straining and leaking in his boxers. But he didn’t mind all that much, not when the most beautiful girl in the world squirmed and arched and moaned to his touch. It seemed like a miracle. 

“Cal,” she gasped and it sent the 100th wave of heat through him. Mare would turn him into scorched earth.

He paid close attention to her reactions, the changes in her breath or her pulse under his mouth as he claimed her neck. She pushed his hand lower again and he knew what she meant. He slowly eased a finger inside her impossibly warm and tight center and her hips bucked against his hand. 

“Is that-?” _ good? _ He meant to ask.

“More.” Ok, it was good then.

Sure thing,  _ ask and you shall receive _ and he added a second finger, thrusting steadily as she ground her hips with abandon. When he lowered his mouth to her nipple and teased it with his tongue like he’d wanted to do from the beginning, the curses she dropped between her frantic moans increased. Like the goal-focused  player he was, he thrust faster and rubbed her clit with his thumb as if the world was about to end and his dying wish was to give Mare Barrow an orgasm. His dying wish became a reality when she fell off the edge and sunk her nails so deep in his biceps, they would surely leave a mark, head thrown back and a throaty cry that made him feel feral. This was the first orgasm he’d ever given someone else, he thought with a smugness that would surely increase his ego to unhealthy levels. 

Cal only stopped his ministrations after she came down from the aftershocks and raised his head to take a proper look at her. She looked wonderfully dazed, with her brown waves fanning messily over the pillow, her half- lidded eyes, and her breath coming in pants.

Raising his drenched fingers and put them in his mouth without even thinking. 

The sweet taste of her on his tongue had to be a gift from above. He’d done this. Was he dooming himself by wanting her so much? No, he didn’t believe that. There was no way the rope around his heart tying him up to her, the way it filled and soothed what had previously been empty spaces, there was no way it was something bad. Not when she was gazing at him with miniature suns in her eyes. 

~☔~☔~

_ Oh no. _

Motherfucking Tiberias Calore the hundredth or whatever. He was doing all wrong. With his soul-wrenching vulnerability, his endearing playfulness, and now, his devil sent dexterous hands. She’d come so hard it was embarrassing. Like  _ chill, girl, _ _ this is some 14-year-old second base bullshit. _ Yet here she was clinging to him as if she could swallow him whole… actually. 

“Has  anybody told you, you taste amazing?”  he merrily commented as if he was talking about his favorite ice cream. 

She’d never wanted to suck a dick this bad in her life. 

Mare pushed him back while he was still leisurely licking his fingers like he’d sank them in deluxe honey, and moved to kneel next to the bed so fast, her knees hit the floor hard and would probably have purple spots by tomorrow. 

“Come here,” she bossed him and he complied , sitting at the edge of the mattress with his absurdly corded thighs on either side  of her body. 

This was supposed to be his next lesson but fuck it. Her hot hunger was possessing her. She pulled him out of his underwear and the first thing that crossed her mind was  _ ‘Rafe was absolutely right’  _ and then she grimaced inwardly because freaking Rafe was the last person she wanted to think about in the present time. 

“Is this ok?” she asked as she wrapped her fist around his base and he leaned back, more like fell back, on his elbows and emitted a deep groan. 

“Yes,” he gaped at her like she was performing some amazing magic trick. “Kick me again if you want,” his smirk was absolutely charming and it was a pleasure to see it crumble when, at once, she took him as far back into her throat as she could. Which wasn’t much, considering the available length but she started working him with her mouth and her fist. 

Cal  fisted the sheets and grunted, his jaw clenched shut so firmly he would crack a molar. Men had this weird thing about not wanting to make  _ ‘unmanly’  _ sounds, whatever that meant, and Mare wasn’t having it. Propelled by the responsibility that this was his first blowjob and the desire to watch him turn into a mess (like he’d done for her) she sucked and licked until he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

He jerked his hips and moaned her name like he was begging. “I should—  _ fuck _ ,” he rasped out. “I’m going to- you know.”

Even with her sucking the life off him, he still tried to be all polite and proper. It awakened the moths in her lungs; they fluttered and danced happily.

Mare squeezed him just how he needed it and he sat upright and reaching for the side of her face he tried to pull her away so she wouldn’t choke but she did the opposite. She gripped his hand and held it in place as his come shot directly into her throat. And she swallowed. And swallowed. And ok maybe he’d been aware this was going to happen because he unloaded a lot, like end-of-No Nut November amounts.

She peered up through her eyelashes and he looked like a man reborn, staring at her like she’d painted the night sky. Her heart pounded her ribcage as if trying to break free and jump, the little suicidal moron. She’d done  this other times , but with him, it made her so stupidly, irrationally happy to have made him come. 

It made zero sense.

“We should have played some music,” he said finally, blushing to the tip of his ears. “I was too loud, I think.”

If she died of an  arrhythmia , she was blaming this clumsy, adorable giant before her. She climbed on top of him and pushed him back, peppering his cheek with kisses several times over the approved limit for fuck buddies. He hugged her tightly. “You could have organized a live AC/DC concert at my door and I’m pretty sure we’d still be heard across campus.”

“Hmm,” he ran his hands over her back and through her hair. “Did I pass the test?”

“With flying colors,” she drew a checkmark in the air above them.

He sighed so deeply that sigh must have been contained for a while, days even. For a democratically declared alpha leader, he sure held back a lot. She wanted to ask him about it, but then remembered this wasn’t _ that _ . 

Everyone knew words spoken during sex were  exacerbated prose to feed the moment. She’d said _ I love you _ plenty of times to Eli and he’d done the same during the moment and it still hadn’t meant shit when it really mattered. 

Theirs was lust and attraction and there was a big leap to be made to reach the other side. The side where feelings and dreams and fears inhabited.

Mare rolled away from him and got up, recovering her discarded hoodie from the floor. If he was going to be her sex provider for the next 9 weeks, she had to establish limits like the safety net around a trampoline. 

“I’m so glad I met you, Cal.” She chirped, eyeing him from the corner of her eye. He was still staring at the ceiling, he muttered a  _ ‘ditto’ _ . “Right when I was breaking up with Eli.” She put her hoodie back on. “This is so much better, this arrangement. I don’t meddle with your personal life and you don’t have to pretend to care about mine. We both get what we want, no strings attached. Right?”

Cal sat up with a panicked look on his face that made her hold her breath, waiting for a bomb to drop. But then it disappeared completely and he had a nonchalant twist of his mouth, and he agreed with her vehemently, nodding along.

“Cool, cool. Right. No strings attached.”

It was supposed to make her feel better.

It didn’t.


	7. make plans together (to ruin them later)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun behind the scenes story: actually it's not fun at all. I'm looking after a friend's cat (her name is Frida) and I spent two days in the vet this week, worried sick over her because little missy decided it would be fun to eat cardboard. She's back to her feline shenanigans now. The end.

_ No. Strings. Attached. _

The words pounded from inside his skull like nuclear bombs going off one after the other. 

No strings attached? No, no. There must be a mistake there because he wanted every string. All the strings. He wanted a conglomeration of strings so thick he could twist them into a giant rope the size used to tie transatlantic ships to the pier.

Cal wouldn’t know _ ‘casual’  _ if it hit him with a thousand-page manual straight in the balls. He was all about the grind life. Study hard, train hard, play hard, crush _ mega hard _ on a pretty, mouthy girl.

“Well  _ duh _ she wants casual,” Evangeline commented. She looked down at him and Ptolemus from the bleachers as they did  stretching exercises, leaning her forearms over the metal guardrail, her black umbrella over her head like a sinister halo. “That was the plan. Or wasn’t it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Cal mumbled stretching his right calf.

The practice was over,  Ptolemus and him were on the running track next to the field. The rain had turned the grass into a muddy hell, making every step 10 times harder and dirtier. His muscles ached like he’d received a beating; he kind of had, for his teammates still hadn’t fully forgiven him for last week and had tackled him with some extra love during practice.

Evangeline always waited for them  afterward .

“You like  _ like _ __ her?” Eve covered her mouth as if she was speaking of a tragedy. “You fool. You should have mentioned that earlier. Cause you just shoved yourself into the rebound guy slot.”

It didn’t sound like good news.  Dread rose inside  his stomach. 

“A fantastic slot, in my opinion. The best.”  Ptolemus commented with a sleazy look, hands on his hips as he did a kneeling lunge. 

“What so bad about it?” Cal ignored his friend’s comment. 

Ptolemus insisted as he went to the bench at the edge of the grass, grabbed the two bottles of Gatorade there, and threw one in his direction. Cal caught it.

“Post break up girls fuck like bunny rabbits, bro.” Deadly serious, he lifted his hand, thumb and index finger pinched together, marking each word like a professor teaching the class a unit that would go on the exam. “They are the best. God’s gift to straight men— and lesbians.” He added after his sister cleared her throat.

Evangeline rolled her eyes. “ As I was saying.  Being the rebound guy includes zero commitment or emotional labor,  she might agree to all kinds of freaky shit out of spite, constantly listening  to ramblings about her ex and then  _ ‘oops,  _ _ I promise I won’t talk about him anymore but one last thing’ _ _. _ ” Her brother nodded along to her  severe statements.  So far it didn’t sound like Mare all that much. “Booty calls at  the oddest times , random  sobbing sessions,  her saying the ex’s name  during sex…”

Cal was reeling with the influx of information. His consternated thoughts left his mouth. “What am I supposed to do?”

He took a long gulp of the sports drink to get rid of the sour taste.

“Easy.” Eve  smugly  brushed an invisible fleck of dust from her  leather jacket sleeve. “ Fuck her harder until she is screaming yours.”

Ptolemus spat his  Gatorade in a blue spray and Cal choked on his.

“Eve,” the eldest sibling scolded  her with a pointed look.

“You were thinking  it too ,  Tolly . How would _ you _ phrase it?”

“Not so bluntly,” he mumbled. 

“The crux of the matter is that the rebound guy, never-  _ ever _ -gets the girl.” Emptiness, cold and vast, grew inside his chest as his friend continued with her feedback. “Once she regains her senses, she’ll pretend she doesn’t know you or acknowledge you as a regretful, yet necessary experience she never wishes to repeat. But she will after she breaks up with someone again.”

And she wasn’t over. Cal looked up to where she loomed, rainwater getting in his eyes. 

“You did this, Cal. Don’t play the victim. You pursued a girl in a relationship; you made her break up with her boyfriend so you could have her all to yourself because that’s how you Calore men are wired.” She batted a manicured hand in a dismissing gesture. “You can’t control how she feels, so either take it or leave it.”

A thunder punctuated her words as if some almighty judge was pounding their gavel. Cal liked to think he was nothing like his father, even if there had been a time when he was his absolute role model, or like Maven, no matter how much he loved his little brother.  So hearing Evangeline say that struck an uncomfortable chord. 

He didn’t want to control Mare, not by a long shot. Still, there was truth to what she said.

“Yeah. You’re right,” he muttered, scowling at his feet. This was a chess game he’d never studied strategies for. If his body temperature could match his mood, he would be turning the rain into a cloud of vapor from how mad he was at himself.

“Obviously.”

“I’ll tell her to remain just friends until she feels ready for something else.” That was  _ a _ solution. A sick, painful one, but it was better than nothing. “If she still wants me that is.”

Although, was it truly better than doing nothing?

“You’re wasting a golden ticket,” Ptolemus shook his head with pity. “That Warren guy will gladly eat your leftovers.”

Cal’s eye twitched involuntarily. He was Mare’s friend.  _ Just a friend _ .

“I find the fact that so many men have the hots for Mare disconcerting,” Eve quirked an eyebrow, pursing her lips. “But good taste  _ is _ a rarity so, no surprises  there. Cal, at least tell me you didn’t blow it by freaking out after she told you that.”

“ Pshhh ,” Cal  clasped his hands behind his neck in a very laid-back manner, averting his gaze to the last players leaving the field after finishing  stretching as he rolled back his shoulder blades. “I was as cool as a cucumber.”

Evangeline  slitted her acute  eyes. “You did blow it, didn’t you?”

Well...

~🧵~🧵~

Cal checked his bare wrist, where his watch should be, and spoke with an indifference that would have never lead one to believe they had just done what they had.

“Practice starts soon, I should get going.” He went to grab his stuff in the window and get dressed .

“You said you had to be there by 5.” Mare folded her arms defensively. Something that felt an awful lot like rejection jabbed at her chest. “You still have like half an hour.” _ We have time _ . No. There was no  _ we _ .

“I wanted to talk to the guys before practice,” he explained as he clumsily put his sneakers on. A man with priorities. “Thanks for everything.”

_ Thanks for everything?? I didn’t wait on your table; I sucked your dick. _ Mare held back the snarky retort. 

“Ook. We’ll talk later.” She was being unfair getting pissed off unprovoked. As a truce, once he was fully dressed, she padded toward him and got on her tiptoes, holding on to his arm to kiss him goodbye.

Cal didn’t outright spit on her face but he did take a significant step back as he wiggled her hand off and extended a fist. “Sure. I text you- you text me.”

Mare couldn't fully hide how weirded out she was this time, as she _ fist-bumped  _ him and he left through the window. 

A thank you and a fist bump . _ Nicholas Sparks take some fucking notes. _

_ You sure know how to pick ‘em _ . She could almost hear Kilorn mocking her judgment in men. It was a good thing then, he wasn’t supposed to find out about this.

~🧵~

Mare hadn’t lied when she said she had study group that night. It gave  her something else to think about other than  Cal’s cold departure . 

As she left for  Ada’s department,  head hung low and  furrowed brow , her night  took a drastic turn  for the worst.  Eli had been camping out in  the dorm room’s entrance like a church beggar for  who knew how many hours. 

“What are you doing here?”

Eli tried to take her hand but her murder glare made him desist. 

“I’m here to get you back. What you heard the other day wasn’t what you think,” he  spoke firmly, blue eyes clear as water . “I did not cheat on you.  A friend back home,  Leah- you remember her, right?- she broke up with her girlfriend and we went to a gay bar to try to cheer her up. ”

Much to her discomfort,  it looked like he was telling the truth.  She shifted on her feet and  hugged her arms tighter around her chest. 

“I have the pictures to prove it and, for Christ’s sake Mare-” he squeezed his shirt over his heart in a pained gesture, “-whatever revenge you wanted, you got it. All campus knows what you did with that jock and I’m still willing to take you back. That’s how much I love you.” He took a step forward, the same lovely face that had convinced her once to give relationships a try. Except it wasn’t enough anymore.

“Those are rumors. I didn’t sleep with him if you must know.” Mare took a deep breath. Uneasiness swirled inside her gut like piranhas that hadn’t eaten for the past week, one wrong move and she would fall into the waters. “We weren’t working out, Eli. There’s too much in the... intimacy aspect and the way I  _ don’t _ feel about you that is wrong. This is not what a relationship should be like.”

“This is about that stupid thing from last Wednesday, isn’t it?” Eli looked to the sky and shook his head. “That’s a really lazy reason to end a relationship.” When he looked at her again, there was a clear reprimand in his whole demeanor. “You feel like you can replace me with an improved version? A football player letting you give him a blowjob doesn’t turn you into his new girlfriend.” Mare flinched and she really shouldn’t have. Eli narrowed his eyes, a bitter smile spreading across his lips. “Ah, that’s what happened. Color me surprised. You’re being naive, babe.”

He made it sound so dirty, and her so dumb, when it had been the opposite. Cal was nothing like he thought and the idea that some distorted version of the truth was being passed around infuriated her. But then, she remembered how Cal had reacted after he’d gotten what he wanted from her, how quickly his whole _ ‘wonderful listener who cared about her’ _ act had dropped and it chilled her into an unforgiving tundra. 

Men were trash.

“I don’t want a relationship with anyone, especially not with you.  You whiny insecure man-baby,” she spat. “You taught me just how much I don’t want one. Cheers.” She pushed past him, hitting him with her backpack on the way.

“I would love to take the credit for that, baby,” he followed after her from a distance. Mare opened her umbrella as she quickened her pace on the sidewalk, ignoring him. “But what’s keeping you from forming meaningful connections to other humans wasn’t me loving you the best way I could. Oh no.” She had to turn around to give him an incredulous frown. “Why do you think you don’t have any friends? other than that Kilorn fool who’s too in love with you to stay away.”

What nonsense was that? She had friends! Farley, and Shade... even if he was her brother. She opened her mouth to reply but Eli spoke, a sad curve on his mouth as his brown curls started getting wet, standing under the drizzle like an abandoned dog. 

“It’s because you’re too selfish to care for anybody else,” he said and Mare’s cheek burned as if she’d been slapped with an iron glove. “That is why relationships aren’t for you, not because of me. Own it.” He walked up to her one last time to whisper. “You’re selfish and unwilling to sacrifice. That’s why you’ll always be alone.”

Even as her face didn’t give away anything, his whispered condemnation crawled under her nails and into her muscles, sinking roots of decay in her brain and her heart. _ You’ll always be alone _ . Her worst, most inner fear, the one she’d never uttered aloud for fear that it would make it real, was now staring back at her.

“That’s it?” she raised her brows. Her throat was so tight it was quite a feat she managed to speak at all.

“Goodbye, Mare.”

She didn’t bother saying it back, she turned back to the direction she was meant to go. Still, no matter how fast she moved her feet, the loneliness accompanied her. As it always had. Now that it had been said, and by someone else, it was too real. Mare could almost see its shadow.

~🧵~🧵~

Cal spent the next two days fretting over the game on Thursday and over Mare. The former because if the Silver Eagles didn’t win, it would be the first time in 20 years the team didn’t make it to the semifinals, and his father would disown him. The latter... 

She did not text him like he’d expected, since he’d been the one to initiate the conversation the other day. It made him think their first lesson had been a fever dream induced by a pneumonic episode caused by all the training under the rain.

He trained, he studied, he worried. A nice, three-step routine that included him staring at his blank phone screen until he started going cross-eyed as he lay in bed. 

He’d changed his mind about asking her to remain just friends. Thanks to Ptolemus’s last comment after their practice on Monday, he’d realized, if there was a shittier place to occupy in Mare’s life other than the rebound, that would be the friendzone. And she would sense in a heartbeat that he was doing it because he liked her, she would cut him off for good, and he’d be empty-handed.

But he wanted her heart. Maybe Evangeline had a point too, that was his Calore gene manifesting, wanting to own everything. He wanted to have a place there and take a tour inside it. See her dreams, her sense of humor, her pet peeves, her fears. Would she have children? what would their names be? Was she a dog or a cat person? What did family mean to her? and what the hell did the poem about the queens mean? if it meant anything at all.

That night, 1 week since they’d met in peculiar circumstances, he considered throwing away every unwritten rule about fuck-buddying and texting her first yet again.

Somewhere in the universe, a merciful god gazed down upon Cal’s dilemma and decided to end his suffering, by making Mare text him first.

Did he regret sending that last text? Yes. Did it stop him from mentally writing down ‘window climbing’ as _their_ thing? No. The fact that Mare started writing and deleted at least 3 times before sending a _«be there in 15»_ , he considered it a win.

Cal went to brush his teeth again, an extra shiny smile couldn’t hurt, then sat down at the windowsill, the back to the bathroom to apply cologne, then back to the window. He spent the next 17 minutes going back and forth, changing his clothes two times before Mare finally popped her head through the window. He went to help her up but she dismissed him and landed on the floor on a crouch.

“I’m getting good at this,” she straightened up and lightly punched his arm, giving him a crooked smile.

It was as if a gust of wind had entered the room and cleansed the air. When she was around, the world felt a little lighter.

Unsure of what to do, he removed an ivy leaf stuck in her brown waves. “You could use the stairs.”

She lifted a shoulder as she ran a 360° visual scan of the room. “I suppose I could.” 

Was she looking for something? Before he could ask, she grabbed a fistful of his T-shirt, pulling him into a kiss. 

Her kiss was like floodgates being opened, releasing at once a forceful, crushing energy that caused him to recoil for a second, only to succumb to it the next. They staggered back to the bed and Mare only stopped to remove pieces of clothing, until she was in nothing but her underwear. And if she’d left his lips for more than 2 seconds, he would’ve regarded her like she deserved, like the work of art she was. She was being unrelenting though.

She arched her body into him and brushed his budding hardness with her belly, making Cal’s head spin, and his grip on her hip and hair tightened.

“What are you doing to me?” he rasped out against her lips and left a trail of open-mouthed kisses on his way to nibble her earlobe. Mare chuckled and started tugging his sweatpants down. “You’re so beautiful.”

“On par with your models and politicians' wives?” she muttered darkly and Cal paused.

Did he hear that correctly? 

“What?” 

“Nothing, it’s just a rumor.” She took his T-shirt off and he let her, but he didn’t let go of the subject. 

Cal laid back at the head of the bed, half-sitting thanks to the pillows, and dragged her after him, so she was nicely settled between his thighs as he cupped her bottom and tasted the column of her neck. He’d thought about it before and was thinking about it now, how perfectly she fit against him. And he didn’t even have to try, she just did. It was a lovely feeling, it made his blood sing.

“Tell me about the rumor,” he insisted.

“It’s stupid.” Mare drew a line around the yellowed edges of the fading bruise in his chest. “You’re healing up fast.” She tried to change the topic.

Cal heaved a sigh. She was one tough egg to crack.

“If it is stupid then why are you upset?” He wasn’t positive that she was, but her reaction to the question confirmed his lucky guess.

“Fuck you, I’m fine.” Mare pressed her palms against his chest, in an attempt to get up, but he held her wrists in place like manacles. She huffed indignantly. “You big oaf.”

“Are you upset people talk about us?” he searched her expression. There were things he was starting to notice, the tension between her brows, the tense line of her mouth, the troubled look in her eyes, as if she was thinking a million things a minute. She squirmed on top of him and he grabbed both of her wrists with one hand so he could caress her cheek with the other. He hated that Evangeline’s words about the sobbing sessions and Ex’s rantings resonated in his ears then.

But, if it made her feel better, it wasn’t so terrible a thing. 

“You’re not one to give a damn about other people’s opinion, Mare.”

“Stop that. Don’t act as if you know me,” she chastised him harshly. “You don’t. And I don’t know you either.”

_ Ouch _ . A pair of clammy hands grabbed his heart and squeezed. 

_ Fall down 100 times, get back on your feet a 101 _ . And Mare was really pushing.

“We should.” He declared softly, yet full of conviction. “There’s a _buddy_ __ in fuck buddies after all.” Cal pinched her nose and Mare laughed lightly, releasing some tension from the air. He added that laugh to his collection of favorite Mare sounds. “I have questions.”

“Fine,” she sighed theatrically rolling her eyes. “It’s  gonna cost you though.”

He would have never imagined a negotiation would incite anything other than anxiety. However, at the prospect of a negotiation where the result was getting to know more of her, his insides lit up and did a happy dance. To his delight, there was no way he could fuck up this deal. Cal sat down cross-legged, all business. 

“Name your price.” 

Mare imitated him, sitting up and smiling wickedly. “Here’s my price: one question, one bite.” 

_ What?  _ He’d never heard of that. His bewilderment must have been all over his face because she proceeded to explain. “For every question you make, I get to bite you or give you a hickey.”

Cal opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, so he gaped at her like a malfunctioning electronic puppet. What the fuck?

“You want to... bite me.” 

“Hard,” she added with an evil gleam in her eyes. “So think very carefully about what you want to ask, or better yet, don’t ask anything.”

Slowly coming out of his shock, he started to catch up with her machinations. “Deal, but same rules apply for you.”

“I don’t feel like asking you anything,” Mare shrugged with a smug expression and lifted her fist, expecting him to bump his knuckles against hers to seal the deal.

A fist-bump before getting cannibalized? Weird, but ok. He did it and held her gaze as he reminded her. “Last time you tried to get me to back down it didn’t work so well for you.”

She was just about to find out the lengths he was willing to go for her. The fact that she was in his bed, almost naked, all smooth golden skin, and pouty, swollen lips from all the kissing wasn’t much of a deterrent.

Mare scooted closer, until their knees touched, and took hold of his forearm with both hands. “Ask,” she goaded him lifting his arm to her lips curving up in a predatory way.

Cal swallowed. If it was fear or expectation making his stomach twist and turn, he couldn’t say. There were so many things he wanted to  ask, he didn’t know where to start. He settled for an easy one.

“Why are you upset? Is it about the rumors?” 

“Two questions,” she informed him and sank her teeth on his flesh.

She wasn’t playing around. The sharp pain shot to his spine and he went as stiff as a board and was stuck between a curse and a grunt, producing a low, surprised sound. The second bite was right next to the other, and just as painful. 

“Jesus Christ,” he gaped at the two red marks on his skin. “You really went for it.”

Mare lifted her eyes bearing an innocent expression in her big chocolate eyes. Didn’t look at all like someone capable of doing what he’d just seen her do. This was a severe Dr.  Jekyll and Mr. Hyde case.

“I don’t care about the rumors about me,” she admitted quietly, smoothing her thumb over the bites. “And I’m upset because...” her chest heaved with a sigh as she looked away, eyes lost and troubled. Cal felt guilty for noticing how pretty and round her breasts looked in that blue bra. Mare tucked her hair behind her ear before rambling at a million miles per hour. “Because I’m falling behind on a very important project- not like, in the technical aspect, but like, the presentation. I will fuck it up in front of a hundred classmates, my GPA will tank and I’ll lose my scholarship.” She forced a careless smile. “Damn, it feels good to tell the truth.”

Something in the way she said that led him to suspect she hadn’t been 100% honest, but she hadn’t lied either. This project really bothered her. Noted.

“You’re going to crush it. I know it.” 

It occurred to him, that the other thing that might be upsetting her was that Eli bastard.

“I don’t want to think about it,” Mare cut off his reasoning by raising herself on her knees and pressing her lips to his, whispering a plea. “Make me forget, Cal. Distract me.”

Every atom in him overloaded and focused on that single task, all other thoughts vanished. He kissed her languidly, running his palms down the sides of her body.

“Ask me something else,” she said marking an X over his right pec and he understood what she was aiming for. Hot embers dropped one by one in his lower abdomen, burning him slowly.

And he did. He asked everything from her favorite color to if she wanted to have children, giving in to his maddening desire to know every detail about her. 

She was both a dog and cat person as long as they were stray. Her favorite color was purple (should’ve seen that one coming). She wanted to live away from the city and close to her family. She had never considered having children; she would think about them when she was older. 

In return, red crescent moons and lilac circles blossomed all over his ivory skin and he shouldn’t like it as much as he did. Cal wasn’t only discovering things about her, but also about himself, as his arousal reached the levels of an inferno, that pain and pleasure went hand in hand for him. That’s how it had always been for him.

He wouldn’t dwell much on it now because it was awfully gloom, but suffering and enduring were a constant for him. This was just adding a reward afterward.

“Why did you bookmark the poem about the queens?” He was lying back, propped up on his elbows as Mare did whatever she wanted with him and he happily observed. And not so happily sported a massive hard-on, to add more pain to the session. Why not.

Mare stopped kissing his stomach as if she’d been caught doing something bad and for a second, she couldn’t hide the deer caught in the headlights look on her face. She chewed on her lip for a prolonged moment before moving to lay on her side next to him and answering.

“It was special for my mother and now it is for me.” Her voice wavered with contained emotion, it was like peeking through a gap into her soul. Barely a glimpse, but enough to make him eager for more. She did that, opened the door by mistake and closed it before anyone could get in.

Another bite on his shoulder, so weak he barely felt it and Mare gripped his jaw to hold his gaze. “Enough questions. My turn.”

~🧵~🧵~

She had fucking known mister pristine, proper Calore was a freak. Mare had a knack for this stuff the same way Rafe had a ‘big dick detector’. 

Cal’s carved body was a crime scene. His torso, his arms, his thighs, were covered in  teeth arches, and hickeys and if it were up to her, she would’ve continued torturing him all night long but he’d started getting into dangerous territory with the bullseye accurate personal questions. She was a Jenga game where the follow-up question to his last one,  _ ‘Why?’ _ , would have made her crumble and end up sobbing like a baby in her fuck buddy’s bed.

She refused to do so. The only way out was getting back what she’d bargained for. 

Mare saw a spark of suspicion in his bronze irises. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice that she was sort of (but really) emotionally escaping. It was a tiny hope.

“What’s your major?” she blurted out and it snuffed the spark as Cal laughed.

“Oh c’mon. You can do better than that.”

“You’re right,” she said sweetly and then deadpanned. “Why are you lying to everybody about being a business major?”

Point for Mare. He paled faster than a kid getting caught cheating on a test for the first time.

“I _ am _ a business major. I’m not lying,” he said, sounding like a liar.

“Then why of all the times I’ve been here, I have never seen a single related textbook?” She ran her index finger over his cheekbone, down to his tense jawline. “Always roman emperors, the Persian empire, or the silk road books.” She thoroughly enjoyed watching him go from surprised that she’d noticed all that, to feigned nonchalance. 

It was amazing how much attention to detail in short time spans could be honed by breaking into summer houses to rob them. Old sins from a past life. When she’d been a teen with talents placed in the wrong endeavors.

“You know what that looks like, right? A history major,” she exclaimed with a clear victory.

But Cal’s eyes crinkled at the corners as his lips formed a sly grin. “It looks like you just made 4 questions.”

_ Shit.  _

“Four?!” she was about to punch him in the arm, but Cal attacked without a warning. 

He snaked his arm around her waist and dragged her under him, pinning her face down into the bed. “Now it’s five.”

Mare braced herself on her forearms to look over her shoulder and demand to know where the hell had that number come from (preferably without having to make a sixth question) but Cal pressed his hard cock on her ass and she melted into compliant silence. His Armani boxer briefs, her pretty blue panties with a cute little bow in the front, she wanted them  _ gone _ . 

“You’re very observant, Mare.” He moved down and she almost pouted at the loss of his glorious— “But you missed a few details. I’m not a good liar, and fooling an entire college staff for 3 years is beyond my abilities.” 

He moved her hair to the side, and kissed the back of her neck in a teasing way, then went for her shoulder. 

“I am a business major and a history major.” He unhooked her bra and it slid off her shoulders. For a virgin, he did it surprisingly quickly. “I’m momentarily more focused on the second one,” Cal palmed her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers, and bit the crook of her neck with enough force to make her gasp and jerk her head back as a wave of pure lust left her breathless.

Cal released her and shifted to the side to look at her as he inquired with a concerned pitch in his voice. “Was that too-?”

“No. Keep doing that, please.” And she truly felt like a teacher when she awkwardly added. “You have good  instincts .” 

_ You have good instincts? _ Sunday-school-teacher-approved dirty talk. She inwardly cringed so hard she almost killed her lady boner completely. Cal seemed happy though, because her went on massaging her breasts, switching from one to the other, and kissing her back lower and lower, and enthusiastically bit the side of her ribs.

“Do you even like the whole business thing?” She asked fully aware that she was adding to her number and took a deep breath as Cal marked her skin. 

“I’m honored to get to continue my family’s legacy.” He seemed offended she’d ask such a thing and the hard bite that followed was the evidence. 

The shot of pleasure spread to her core like spilled wine over a tablecloth.

“You hate it,” Mare was astonished.

A bite in the flesh above her hips, and she lifted them in response, gripping the sheets in her fists, growing restless.

“I don’t,” his tone dropped, basically daring her to disagree. And what was a girl to do if not exactly that? In the name of feminism and all.

“You do but I get it if you’re incapable of admitting it to  yourse \-  _ fuck! _ ” Cal sank his pearly white teeth into her ass cheek at the same time he pinched her nipple. The pain was so, so exquisite she buried her face in the mattress to stifle her high moan.

That would definitely leave a mark for weeks. As aroused as she’d been, this had just dropped a match into an oil spill in the ocean and she was burning. She needed him inside her urgently, but still had enough sense left to not outright push him into his back and ride him like there was no tomorrow.

“Let’s go over your lesson from the other day.” He moved back up, pressing himself to her backside and running his hand down and blessedly under her panties. “Behave and I’ll let you come,” he whispered with a coarse voice that made her clench her thighs together and let out a short whimper.

Look at him. He’d made her orgasm once and he believed himself an expert? Apparently, yes. And with reason. He traced a lazy curve over her center, without reaching the point she needed that had her arching her back and grinding against him, chasing the heat his solid body offered.

“I won’t question your academic choices anymore.” She promised, her breath hitching after every word. “Can you put your fingers inside of me already?” 

“You’re only allowed to say  _ my _ name,” his hoarse, commanding voice reached nerve endings she didn’t even know she possessed and goosebumps erupted all over her skin.

“Only you.” What came over her to add to his request, she did not know. But she felt it down to her bone marrow as she craned her neck to speak into the angle of his jaw. “You’re the only one, Cal.”

_ That gets to fuck me as long as this arrangement lasts _ , she added to feel better, but it was too long to say out loud. A nice excuse. 

And Cal slid two fingers inside of her as he rolled his hips against her ass. He was purposeful with every thrust and every curling motion of his fingers, applying the perfect pressure with the back of his palm over her clit. She became unwound in needy moans, burning, drowning in a decadent tide of lust.

The number of times she moaned his name, only to scream it as she climaxed should have made him regret his request. But after he climaxed as well and collapsed on top of her, he smiled against her cheek as if he’d won tomorrow’s game. Or was it today’s game? She didn’t know what time it was.

It couldn’t be comfortable to have your boxers all sticky with cum (it wasn’t all that comfortable for her to have ruined another piece of underwear) but they stayed like that for a long minute, with his face buried in the angle of her shoulder. Mare told herself it was only a minute, otherwise it would confuse things too much. Contentedly crushed under his weight, and his arms around her middle cutting off her air supply a little (a lot), she played with a wet lock of his black hair. Was breathing all that necessary? Not when you got to breathe in the divine smell of winter, and grass and sweat from Cal’s face. 

_ Hold the fuck up _ . What the hell was all that corny shit about not needing to breathe? Probably a defense mechanism to cope with the lack of oxygen from her brain.

“I should get going,” she reluctantly whispered. Cal’s weight abandoned her and she inhaled deeply. 

Now it was her turn to get dressed in silence as he watched her, sitting at the edge of the bed. An odd expression on his face she didn’t care to look into. 

Once she was safely wrapped in layers of fabric, she dared to face him; a wave as a goodbye and a half smile. 

“Can I get a good luck kiss?” he rubbed the back of his neck, exposing several of the marks she’d left on his right arm and Mare bit her lip instead of cackling. He ate her ass and then shyly asked for a kiss. Cal Calore was impossible. 

Mare stood between his knees and cupped his puppy face in her hands. She kissed him sweetly before murmuring encouraging words against his lips. “If you win tomorrow, I’ll let you stick it.”

He furrowed his brow and complained. “Mare.”

Ok, now she did laugh in his face. “Fine. I’ll delicately pluck your purity flower from its stem.” 

“Oh, get out of here.” He pushed her away, acting all  embarrassed , without fully concealing his grin. “You’re so...” the gleam in his eyes made her heart kick her ribs violently. “Perfect.”

Mare looked at the ceiling with mock exasperation, her get away reflexes kicked in right on time. 

“You keep saying that-” she let him go and walked back to the window, “-I might believe you.”

~🧵~🧵~

Mare slipped out of his bedroom as quietly as she had come in. Cal sat down at the windowsill, following her frame with his gaze until it got lost behind the brick garden wall. 

If he’d managed to turn her game into his favor somehow tonight, it meant he could do it again. He’d always been good with strategy and planning. Determination planted its feet firmly on his heart like the last soldier on a losing battlefield.

It felt ridiculous to speak to the night. But he needed to say it out loud. He needed the universe to hold him accountable for his vow in every drop of rain, or sunset shadow, or shooting start in the night. 

“Give me time and you’ll be so in love with me.” His knuckles went white as he gripped the window ledge and then  he let go, a murmur carried away by the spring breeze. “I’ll make you fall in love with me, Mare Barrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you'll excuse me, I'll be drinking a gallon of holy water


	8. Intermission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one for all my Latin American homies, Brazil included <3 Viva la hermandad entre latinos 😎

The guys at  Hitze manor were being extra nice today. There was a glint in camaraderie in their eyes as he passed them by on the dining room on his way back from his morning run. They patted his back, high fived him, and Oliver Iral even asked for tips with a wink.

Cal supposed it was very kind of them to already mentalize the game as if the team had won. 

“Morning,” he chipperly greeted Ptolemus, who was sitting on a high stool, eating cereal on the island, looking like the grim reaper. Cal rambled on as he looked for OJ in the fridge. “I’ve been going over some of our strategies with Coach and we’re pretty happy with what we’ve come up with.”

“Calore,”  Ptolemus drawled with a look that could’ve frozen hell. “You know I love you, man. You’re like a brother to me.”

Wow, extra nice indeed. It was touching to see such brotherhood emerge in the face of adversity.

“Aw, thanks, man. I love—”

Ptolemus raised a palm to cut him off. “That being  said. While this house’s walls may be thick, they’re not soundproofed.” 

Wha...  _ oh. _ Ptolemus’ room was right next to his. Well, this was awkward.

“Shit. Did everybody hear that?” Cal forgot all about house rules and furiously gulped down the orange juice straight from the carton.

“Nah,” he waved his spoon. “just me... and everybody else on that hallway. Guys talk, and it wouldn’t be a big deal, except they never heard such unholy sounds coming from your bedroom.” He raised his sharp gaze and the beginnings of a devilish smile appeared in his mouth. “You took Eve’s advice to heart, eh?” 

Cal sputtered an intelligible, indignant sound. Perhaps he had. 

“ So what if I did? There were no complaints from the concerning parties.”

“No need to pull the corporate lingo. I had a shitty sleep, that’s all. I am proud of you though.”  Ptolemus regressed to his usual cold expression despite the amiable tone of his words and continued eating his cereal. “For releasing little Cal into the big world. I feared your balls would fall off or something.”

Cal finished the juice and casually started crushing the carton to throw it in the garbage.

“Released is a broad term, right?” 

His friend looked up from the bowl, eyes wide in shock. “You’re still...?” Then he closed them and tilted his head to the side, hiding his face. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to leave.”

“What the hell?” Cal moved around the island to stop him and caught a glimpse of his face, flushed red from the effort. Ptolemus swiftly turned for the back door that led to the laundry.

“I promised Eve I wouldn’t laugh at you about this matter!” he threw over his shoulder. “To your face!” After he disappeared behind the door, his diabolical laughter reached Cal’s ears. 

He hadn’t decided whether to feel offended or embarrassed when Oliver entered the kitchen with the  notes app open on his phone. 

“About those tips. I was wondering, to get  _ that _ out of a chic, is it a particular position or...” he lowered his brows, looking at him expectantly, thumbs ready to type. “ _ Duration? _ ” 

Ridiculous. He lived surrounded by children.

~🍕~🍕~

The morning brought forth new beginnings. A new sky, the promise of a better day, plans to be one step closer to your dreams, and in Mare’s case, a monthly visitor that sometimes came to drink a cup of tea and left, and some others beat the shit out of her uterus and every surrounding muscle and organ with a repetitive declaration: WHERE IS THE BABY? _ Did I build such a cute habitat for nothing? I will tear it apart and make you suffer in the process, you inconsiderate bitch. _

Today, the visitor had chosen violence. 

Mare woke up with a headache that was nearly blinding. She had dragged herself to the cafeteria as if she’d been shot and got herself a delicious breakfast consisting of coffee, oatmeal, and ibuprofen pills. 

“Every month I promise myself I will buy a water bag and then I don’t- ugh.” Mare let her forehead hit the table, narrowly missing her oatmeal bowl, hugging her lower abdomen. If it wasn’t inappropriate, she would also hug her boobs against her chest. They were sore as hell.

“You can use mine if you want,” Ada offered, looking up from the histology book she was reading over her plate of blueberry pancakes.

“Really?”

Ada got her period around these days too, so she would probably be needing her bag.

“Yeah, what are friends for?” Ada shrugged like it was no biggie. “Besides, I barely get cramps since I’m on the pill.”

Shit, no wonder Mare was on her period; the sole mention of the word ‘friend’ made her tear up a little. Fucking hormones.

“Thank you,” she extended her hand to pat her friend’s ( _ take that, Eli _ ) hand over the table. “You’re a life savior.”

“You have an IUD?” Ada asked to be polite, with her perfect memory she probably remembered the color of the shirt Mare had been wearing when she told her that tidbit of information. Mare nodded. “You always get such horrible cramps. You should consider switching to the pill,” she suggested and lifted the fork with the last bite of her pancake to her mouth.

Mare let out a pitiful breath. “I’m not you. I would forget to take it for weeks and only remember after Mare Junior started kicking me in the bladder.”

Ada chuckled, shaking her lustrous ‘fro, took the chocolate muffin from her tray, and pushed it toward Mare. “There. Eat up and you’ll feel better.”

She wasn’t proud enough to reject chocolate in any shape or form, even if it was a college cafeteria one with a dubious expiration date. Mare started peeling off the wrapper and Ada lifted her empty tray and hesitated about her next words, but she persevered.

“If you wanted to invite someone over, which I’m not saying you are, you could leave one of the succulents next to the door, in the hallway.”

Mare sat up so fast the room spun for a second. So far, they’d had an unspoken agreement about not bringing people over at times when the other might need the room. It narrowed the time frames significantly. 

Not even Eli had gotten a free pass.

She opened her mouth to deny anything and everything, but Eli’s curse crossed her mind again. 

Her roommate had always been so nice and understanding toward her. They worked perfectly together and they’d witnessed each other’s worst habits daily, then why didn’t she consider her a friend? Why hadn’t she trusted her with anything yet? 

Mare smiled at her, grateful, and Ada left.

_ Why do you think you have no friends? _ Mare toyed with the muffin in her hands. She was always so focused on reaching her goals that she did forget to look to the people around her. But it was more complicated than that. Wasn’t it always? 

Her family and Kilorn. They were all that mattered.

A group of loud freshmen, all clad in head-to-toe Silver Eagles merch, materialized in the cafeteria. A bit too eager for a game that would take place in 12 freaking hours.

She looked up at the sky and asked _ seriously?  _ As if she needed reminders of his existence. Cal slithered into every crevice and cranny of her mind every fucking minute of the day, but he didn’t fit anywhere in her mental priorities picture. He was just a guy.

_ And the Amazon rainforest was just a few trees _ . 

Uncomfortable with both the weight on that analogy, and with sitting so long on a particular bite-sized potion of her ass, she decided it was time to get to class.

~🍕~🍕~

_ “Have you seen the plaque at the stadium entry?” _

“I have, dad.”

_ “Well, read it again today. Remember where you come from, that is who you are. You hear me?” _

“Yes, dad.”

_ “The Calore legacy is one of winners. Let that fuel you. No son of mine will break that- of course, there’s Maven,”  _ there was a tinge of mockery in his father’s tone as if this was an inside joke between the two of them. _ “But don’t think about that.” _

“Maven is at the top of his class in Oxford, what are you even talking about?” Cal blurted out before he could think better of it.

_ “Calore men are Harbor Bay University alumni,”  _ he authoritatively veered the conversation back to his original purpose, and the implication behind the statement was clear (and infuriating). _ “You’ll honor that today. I trust you will, Cal.” _

“Yes. I have to go. Goodbye.” 

Cal shoved his phone deep into his sports bag before slamming the locker shut. Despite the lighthearted air at the manor that morning, now it was all frowns fixed on the floor, tense jawlines, and even stiffer shoulders.

As if it wasn’t enough, mister Calore had graced this stressful time with an express reminder of  _ everything wrong with his family in 5 minutes or less _ .

How true it was that as you grew up, your childhood heroes fell from their pedestals. For Cal, turning 21 had come with the sad epiphany that no matter how much he loved his father, it didn’t turn him into a good person. 

The same legacy he’d once been deeply proud of, was something he had to overcome. He just needed to figure out how. 

Coach Arven’s bald head shone like a polished bowling ball under the fluorescent lights as he gathered them to give the worst pep talk of the century.

“Ladies. Either we win or we’re out. But you already knew that, so go out there and murder these fuckers.”

As they marched into the field, under the white glow of the reflectors and the clamor of the public, memories of Mare managed to turn his scowl into a small, hopeful smile.

He’d wished for her to be here and received a text wishing him good luck instead. But he knew better than to ask her. That was definitely off fuck buddies’ territory.

_ “You have good instincts,” _ she’d said. It encouraged him. And Cal would lie if he didn’t admit he had another incentive for winning.

~🍕~🍕~

While the boys were at the game, Farley and some of her friends, Mare included, got together for a ladies' night with beer, homemade pizza, and Farley’s ranting about her thesis.

Farley and Shade’s loft was a recycled auto shop, with concrete walls covered in tapestries and posters, and ‘rooms’ divided by mismatched furniture. They had moved in together 6 months after they started dating. By the way Shade had spoken about this girl he’d met at a dissertation, it was as if he’d known they were meant to be together there and then. There had been such certainty in his amber eyes when he’d video called Mare to tell her about it.

And for Farley, it had to be the same thing, for she was the most self-assured human on the planet. She’d probably popped out of the womb knowing one day she would meet a boy named Shade Barrow and be with him for the rest of their lives.

The fact that they had their shit together at such young age was intimidating. Not only that, but the assholes had the audacity of being nice people. The kind that had friends, lots of them.

It’s not that Mare didn’t care about unequal funding between public schools located in neighborhoods of low income versus more affluent ones. It’s that she was trying to piece together how was it possible for Farley, who never allowed herself a second of fun, to have more friends than she did. Diana was a natural leader, she reasoned, so people felt compelled to be near her and listen to what she had to say.

“Where did you say  you guys met?” Mare asked the girl with a buzzcut sitting next to her at the table.

“The ABC bar?” she turned her face to Mare. “Philosophy Fridays? You should come, it’s way more fun than it sounds.”

_ Riiight _ _ , that thing. _ Farley had invited her to participate countless times and every time a good excuse to not go had come up. 

“Thanks, I will,” she lied. 

It seemed to be that to have friends you had to  _ go out _ . Going out meant less time to study, and less time to study meant academic failure, and academic failure meant she lost everything she’d worked so hard for. 

That’s it! She didn’t have time to have friends...  _ because she was selfish _ . That motherfucker Eli was right.

The doorbell rang and Farley got up from the table to get it. She returned a minute later with none other than Ann Walsh with her, still wearing her cheerleading outfit and face covered in glitter.

“Hi, hi,” she blew kisses in the general direction of the table and received a chorus of greetings. “Sorry for being late, I came as soon as I could. Did you leave anything for me, bitches? I’m starving.”

“Did we win?” Buzzcut girl inquired with mock excitement, extending a plate with a slice of pizza Margherita over to the newcomer, who took the sixth and last empty chair next to Mare.

Ann completely missed her friend’s sarcasm and answered. “Yes! 41 to 16.” Taking a huge bite of the slice, she spoke with her mouth full. “Calore will get tested for steroids. Boy was on something tonight. Oh- Hi, Mare!”

“Hi,” she smiled. Her mind was far away, thinking Cal would want to claim his prize, and she would have to let him (and herself) down. 

She wasn’t averse to period sex, but there was no need to traumatize him like that on his first time. Weirdly enough, she was proud of him for kicking ass tonight, even if she didn’t give a flying fuck about football.

“That sounds exciting,” a girl with pink braids exclaimed after Ann finished her debriefing of the game that Mare didn’t pay attention to. 

“Organized sports are a capitalist scam, Cece,” Buzzcut girl scoffed. “It was probably arranged.”

Nice, drama on the way. This should be interesting. Mare took a sip of her beer and sank in her seat.

“Oh, Bahorel. Who would bother to arrange a college football match?” 

“The last name of the team captain says it all.”  Bahorel lifted a palm. “His daddy wouldn’t want him to taint the trademark. _ Duh _ .”

“Don’t say that in front of...” Cece quickly swiped her eyes in Mare’s direction and the table fell silent. Even Farley was looking at her, amused.

Goddamnit . Weren't they too intellectual for petty gossip? 

Mare played dumb and raised her eyebrows inquisitively. 

“Sorry, I know you guys are like together,” Bahorel didn’t look all that apologetic.

“We met once when he helped me out at the party,” Mare evaded the underlying  accusation .

“But don’t you guys usually have coffee at the Angry Bean?” Another girl questioned her and a third one leaned forward, with eager, suspicious eyes. “Yeah, I heard that too.”

_ It was one time!  _ Drinking  _ one  _ coffee with Cal was about as inconspicuous as going to mass in a carnival costume.

“He probably doesn’t even remember my name!” _ Lie, lie your little heart out _ . 

“Cal absolutely remembers your name,” Ann said happily ignoring Mare’s warning look. “I’m just saying,” she muttered out of the corner of her gloss painted lips. “If his eyes were dicks, you would be pregnant. With twins.”

The table burst out laughing and in halfhearted reprimands to Ann. If Mare hadn’t been trying to cool down her furious blush, she might have laughed too. Cal did have an intense look, but she’d never considered other people could notice that from the outside.

“Whatever happened to respecting privacy?” Farley spoke and the girls quieted down a bit.

“I just find it weird,” Cece said with a guilty expression, arranging her  eccentric braids over her shoulders. “These people’s lives- not you, Mare -they are so far removed from reality, that the fact one of them is all of the sudden dating a normal human being is compelling. Like when Prince Harry started dating Meghan Markle!”

Several nods across the table.

“Sorry to disappoint then, but I’m not dating him.” This statement was starting to feel repetitive. And tiring. Should she make a T-shirt?

“Anyway, if we’re done wasting spit talking about the poster boy of academic elitism in Norta...” Farley veered the conversation back to matters that gladly didn’t include her as the center of attention.

She’d been no one, and overnight she’d turned into the talk of the town. Mare wished her 15 minutes of fame would end already. It was exhausting. And it created a degree of separation between her and Cal when she tried to think about them in any way as if her view got distorted by all the versions that people created. 

A great divide.

It was better to ignore it altogether. 

Before Mare left for her room that night, Farley held her arm a second longer after they hugged goodbye. 

“Don’t pay attention to the things people are saying.”

“Have I ever?” she scoffed. 

“No, but you’ve never been subjected to this level of scrutiny.” Farley’s gaze was unyielding. It made her feel like a kid, so she straightened her spine and Farley noticed with a knowing smile. “You are quite proud, Mare. I would hate you to deny yourself something out of spite.”

“I’m living life to the fullest,” she assured her with a tone that indicated the opposite.

“Take care of yourself, that’s all.” Farley let her go with a head shake that was almost maternal. 

“You don’t happen to be pregnant by any chance? Because that was awfully sentimental.”

And back to regular, aggressively focused Diana. She narrowed her blue eyes into slits, towering over her. “I have a thesis to present in less than two months.” 

“Right, because having sex and studying can’t be coordinated,” Mare teased her, taking great satisfaction in the way her sister-in-law started to close the door on her face.

“Speaking from recent experience?” 

_ Touché. _ “Tell Shade I said hi. Bye.”

Farley’s face broke into a smile as she rolled her eyes and closed the door. For a second, Mare could’ve sworn she saw her drop her hand to her stomach. Too much pizza probably.

~🍕~🍕~

Right after the whistle indicated the end of the game, he had a moment of pure disbelief. A moment of  _ ‘oh my God, I get to be with Mare Barrow’  _ and then, after his teammates crushed him in celebratory shoves and pushes, he became aware that they’d made it to the semifinals.

They played music in the locker room and goofed around, and when Cal left the shower, the dumbassery reached new heights.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, standing between the rows of lockers as he looked for his phone to let Mare know they’d won, his battle scars from last night were  bared for the world to see. 

Oliver was the first to notice. 

“Damn, Cal,” he covered his grin with his fist. “Did you do a satanic ritual or what?”

“ So this is why we won?” Adam Tyros patted him loudly on the back. “Mad respect for your girl.”

“More like feed your woman, Calore!” someone shouted and was followed by laughs.

Semi-naked guys started craning their necks in his direction to make lewd jokes and laugh like hyenas. Cal rolled his eyes and continued getting dressed, ignoring them but  inwardly smiling , feeling some kind of way about the fact Mare was _ ‘his girl’  _ now.

“Respect?” Cantos’ cackle boomed against the tiled walls. “Check for his cock, make sure she didn’t bite it off too.”

“No, no,” Adam threw an arm over his shoulder. “If she gets him to play like  _ that _ , we should send her a thank you card.”

Among the general chaos, a freshman that Cal didn’t know that well, decided it would be a good idea to make the stupidest joke possible. “Pass her on to the team after you’re done with her.” 

The kid obviously didn’t know Cal’s temper because the steamed air went cold in a second as the guys opened their eyes in  _ oh shit  _ expressions and parted like the Red Sea. Cal’s jaw clenched as he stared down at the brat across the space between them. He wanted to snap his neck.

_ He’s just a kid, Cal. You’ll go to prison for murder and you’ll never get to make love to Mare, Cal. _

The silence was so absolute one could hear the water drip coming from one of the showers, as well as the freshman’s inner scream as he gulped and his pathetic life flickered before his eyes.

“I must have misheard.” His growl was so low the kid’s knees buckled a little. “Repeat what you just said.”

“I- uh- I said-” He looked around for help that wasn’t there. “What I said was a mistake.”

“A terrible one,” Cal gritted out. “And...”

“I’m never speaking like that about a woman ever again,” he  squealed.

“Better.” Cal glowered but slowly let go of his desire to murder. 

If the guys from the team solidarized with him and towel-whipped the brat for shits and giggles later, he knew nothing of it.

~🍕~🍕~

Harbor Uni’s library was a thing of beauty. Divided into two buildings, one consisting of modern minimalist architecture, with a massive central reading area, surrounded by three levels of bookshelves accessible by two glass elevators and ramps, filled with actually useful books. And the original building consisted of labyrinthic rows of bookshelves with old smelling books that rendered the light from the massive stained-glass windows nearly useless. There was a long reading area under a vaulted ceiling, lined with the balconies of the second level. 

As pretty as it was, it was as dim as a cellar, useless for reading during prolonged periods of time unless you wished to punish your eyesight. To put it kindly, this was the pretentious fucks’  _ aesthetic _ territory. And Cal’s.

Following his detailed instructions, Mare found him in the portal to the Illuminati's secret meeting spot. Well, no exactly but it could have been, for how tucked away his table was; between a column and a window and next to the rows of bookshelves with the letter X, in the farthest corner of the library.

Cal was hunched over a book, scribbling in a notebook. As Mare approached him from behind, the side of his face became visible, dark locks falling over his brow, the ivory angles of his face catching the golden light from the window like a sculpture on display, and were those...? They were, Mare thought delighted. Gold rimmed glasses slid down the sharp bridge of his nose and he had to keep pushing them up with his index finger.

Mare was so quiet he didn’t notice her presence until she pushed a chair facing his, plopped down on it, and placed her feet on top of his lap. He looked up at her with beautiful bronze eyes and beamed, brighter and warmer than the sun. It was as if she’d taken a deep dive into honey, she couldn’t think, move or breathe through the sweetness that enveloped her.

She cut down the sweetness with a knife. “You look like the kids I used to steal lunch money from.”

Cal laughed and gripped her exposed ankle under her cuffed jeans. “I would love to see you try.”

“You think you could stop me?” He clearly underestimated how sneaky she could be.

“I would, and then-” he grabbed the edge of the seat of her chair and dragged her closer, the chair scraping over the floor, so her legs were splayed across his lap, “-I would turn you from your crooked ways.” 

Her heart skipped a beat at his teasing smirk.

“Or I would turn you to the low road.” Mare reached for his glasses and put them on her face as he stared adoringly. “Can you imagine? You’d start skipping school, you’d stop wearing suspenders and moccasins.”

Cal laughed lightly and leaned into her. She found herself doing the same. “I didn’t wear suspenders.”

“Still, I would turn you into a rebel.” Mare threaded her fingers into his silky hair and pressed their foreheads together. “Ruin your golden-boy reputation and make you end up resenting me.” She was still playing, sort of. But between the joke and imagine-scenario, some truth may have been leaking out.

That same fucking fear. That everything she was, no matter how much she refined it, would always be sharp and cutting. Driving others away after causing them harm. It wasn’t fully her fault though.

Dad had left for the army, then Bree, then  Tramy . Kilorn had been, in a way, abandoned by both of his parents. There was a lesson there: loneliness permeated life. 

“No. That’s not what we are to each other.” Cal said matter-of-factly, unaware of the melancholic turn of her thoughts. “We would help each other out. We’d be good friends.” 

And she wanted to believe it, so she tucked the words safely into her chest as if they were true. Mare closed the space between their lips and kissed him slowly, making time stop and disappear. 

She was glad that in this reality, she got to keep him, not entirely and not forever, but it was enough. 

It  _ had  _ to be enough.


	9. Emotions are good! (ways to mess things up)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my lovely tumblr readers @evermorewillow, @rireausoleil, @thatoddgirl777 and @morebooks-pls.  
> And to user Julia, because your comment on ch 2 inspired me for a bit of this one 😉  
> I hope you guys enjoy it!!

What he’d meant to say with _ ‘good friends’ _ was  _ ‘your absolute best friend’ _ . The one she kissed like this every day, and the only one she fucked, got married to and had children with. Cal was slipping his hands under her bottom to shift her from her chair and into his lap while calculating the perfect height for their white picket fence so their golden retriever puppy (he would let her name him) wouldn’t jump over it.

His glasses were too big on her pretty, delicate face and kept poking him every time he tried to move to deepen their kiss, so he tried to take them off. Mare slapped his hand down.

“They’re mine now.”

“What?” he felt her grin against his lips.

“Told you stealing from you would be easy, nerd.”

“ Says the girl  who freaks out about  a project weeks before  the deadline. ”  Cal laced his arms around her waist and nuzzled her  neck, causing her to make a pleased sound in her  throat.  “Did you actually steal lunch money?” He couldn’t hold back his curiosity and lifted his eyes to her face.

“Lunch money, wallets, watches,” Mare enunciated proudly, swaying her feet back and forth in the air. The fact that she couldn’t reach the ground when sitting on his lap was the cutest thing in the world. “I was excellent at stealing people’s shit, breaking into their houses, scamming idiots. My glory days.” She finished with a bittersweet smile. “Until I pulled my head out of my ass.”

He had no right to judge whatever reason had driven her to commit that long list of crimes, especially when he’d grown up surrounded by an obscene amount of luxury and privileges . People  broke the law in small ways  every day . Not him though. Cal hadn’t even drunk a drop of alcohol before turning 18.

“What made you reconsider?” He asked running his thumb over the row of 4 earrings in her ear, each a different color.

She laughed lightly at the phrasing and tugged a strand of hair free from her ponytail to hide her ear. As if she needed to conceal one part of herself to reveal another, keeping some form of inner balance he didn’t understand yet.

“Funny story. I was 15 and the vacation season had ended in Summerton; perfect time for breaking in. And there was this one beautiful house I could’ve sworn was empty.”

“But it wasn’t,” Cal  guessed, trying to not  seem like he was prying , eager to hear whatever she had to say. 

“It wasn’t. I disarmed the alarm system and looped the cameras for naught because I walked right up to a woman. Obviously, she freaked out and dropped the dinner plates she had been carrying. Her husband showed up, I tried to run away and tripped onto the broken china.”

“Jesus. How did you escape?”

Mare smirked conspiratorially. “I didn’t have to! The husband talked to me like I was his niece or something while she disinfected and stitched me up.” She moved her arm and showed him a long scar that branched out like a lightning bolt along her forearm. His gut twisted imagining how much it must’ve hurt.

“He was super interested in how I had bypassed their security but like in a good way. You know, like when a teacher asks you how you solved an equation. He was weird, but chill.

“Then he gave me a pamphlet about Harbor  Uni’s financial aid for outstanding high school students and told me to go back home and study. I never saw  them again, and now, 4 years later, I’m here.”

The bad part about always being on the right side of the law was that he didn’t have stories half as interesting as this.

“And here you are,” he repeated, not daring to add  _ with me _ . 

“Up until then...” she started with a faraway expression, but then her eyes focused on his face again and she shook her head dismissively. “Never mind.”

_ No, keep talking. _ He loved hearing her talk as much as he loved desserts, which was saying a lot. And to add to the treat, his glasses looked hilariously big on her.

They stayed in silence for a minute. Cal found it wasn’t awkward, which was a novelty for him. Silence in the company of others made him jittery, but with her it just  _ was _ . He inspected the scar that ran along the inner part of her forearm and he tried to imagine what it must have been like to grow up with an uncertain future, when his, as a first-born  Calore , had been written in stone generations ago.

“And this would be the part where you tell me about why are _ you _ here,” Mare demanded, looking at him kindly. “What’s up with the business-slash-history thing?”

There was no way to avoid this without being a hypocrite. He exhaled loudly. “What came before, how did we get here, those things intrigue me.” God, he was so bad with words. The feeling he got when learning about the crazy strategy a Roman general had successfully pulled off 2000 years ago had no rational explanation. The thrill that came when cracking a millenary puzzle and knowing other great men had before him. So, he said simply, “it’s really cool.”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys who takes Risk and board games in general too seriously.”

“I am.” He poked her stomach playfully.

“There’s always a but.”

Smart. There was, and whenever he had to acknowledge it, he got heartburn.

“But, as my father’s son, I’m expected to take over the company someday,” he said miserably. “Hence the business major.”

_ If he didn’t figure out a way to get himself out of it _ , that was. Fuck, he hated this topic. 

At least, compared to where he was a few years ago, when he was in blissful ignorance of his desire to follow a different path, now he felt more like himself. A person and not just a last name with an (admittedly) handsome face.

“Cheer up,” Mare tilted his chin toward her with a thin finger. “Souring your day by making you talk about college shit is the last thing I wanted.”

Cal’s shoulders sagged with relief at the exit from this conversation she granted him. Even if, in an odd way, he did feel better after saying all of that out loud.

Taking it back to the matter of her upcoming project, he made another guess that was also a wish. “I thought you’d want me to distract you again.”

He wasn’t going to repeat the other thing she’d said, about  _ sticking it _ , no matter how much he was thinking it. Vehemently. 

She read his mind and sighed, pushing him back. The wistful once-over she was giving him heated him instantly. 

“ I didn’t forget what I promised, but you’ll have to wait ,” she muttered reluctantly. 

Cal deflated despite his best intentions. It’s not like he got random, awkward erections throughout the day while he fantasized about sticking it— ok, he needed to erase those two words from his vocabulary immediately.

“I’m on my period ,”  she explained even though she owed him nothing and gestured in the direction of her lower belly. “So no downstairs business for me for a few days. ”

_ Ohh _ _ periods _ . He hadn’t factored those into the equation. He anxiously hesitated between giving her his condolences or congratulating her. Being sister-less and having spent most of his life in male-dominated spaces he wasn’t sure what the protocol was. 

She didn’t give him the chance for either. Leaning into him, Mare whispered in his ear, her fingers freely running over his neck and jaw raising goosebumps up his flesh. “If you’re up to getting your prize in a different way, I would love to have you in my mouth again.”

How did she say things like these? His dick reacted in an overwhelmingly positive way to the proposal. His mind, however, much to his surprise, still had some say in the matter. If he simply accepted the offer it would further cement their no-strings-attached policy. Something he was mentally warring against. Nonetheless, if he refused it looked even worse like he wasn’t straining in his boxer briefs at the mere idea of Mare’s warm, clever mouth around him. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and a pained groan left him. 

Time for an impromptu strategy. 

“Only if you teach me how to make you come with my mouth later,” he rasped without daring to look up. Mare stilled and her pulse quickened under his mouth. _ Effective _ . Cal grinned at the success of his strategy. “I want to bury my head between your thighs and taste you as you deserve.”

Mare jumped from his lap as if she’d been scorched and twisted around, checking their surroundings for potential eavesdroppers, red-faced with a mixture of fun and dismay, biting down a laugh. Then she glared at him, _ actually _ fanning herself with a hand as she took off his glasses and left them on the table before him. 

“Stop  thotting in the library,  Cal!” she whisper-shouted. 

“A, you started it. B-” Cal got to his feet and closed in on her “- you can relax. No one ever comes to this side of the library. Why do you think I study here?”

Biting her lip, Mare considered him for a moment before dropping a  _ fuck it _ under her breath and dragging him after her by the collar of his T-shirt. 

“Where are we going?” he asked, excited as they went between the stalls and were engulfed by the darkness and the patent smell of aged leather and paper.

“Wonderland,” her sarcasm lost its effectiveness when she broke into a smile. A very kissable smile.

At the back of the narrow passage, Cal leaned back against the bookshelf  holding Mare’s waist, sprawling out awkwardly to lower himself  closer to her eye level and to fit her against his body.  She was wearing one of those baggy T-shirts she favored and Cal slid his hands under it. He craved the contact with her skin in a way he had never even considered possible.

“I can wait until you’re-” he cleared his throat, “-period free for us to do something. You don’t owe me a reward.

Mare placed her palms over his chest, seeing right through him.

“You’re literally bouncing on your feet,” she pointed out with skepticism. “You _ so  _ want your prize.”

A dumb, boyish grin reached his eyes and gave him away. “I do love winning prizes.”

Mare’s chocolate eyes softened for a fraction of a second, overtaken by an unguarded glimmer of tenderness. His heart processed the sight faster than his brain, spinning like a pinwheel, making him flustered. She quickly replaced it with a sultry gaze she dropped to his lips before going for them.

One minute he was studying the catacombs of Paris, the next he was feasting on the prettiest, softest, sweetest (and every other superlative yet to be invented) lips on earth. He could have continued doing so the entire afternoon but Mare’s mouth traveled down the column of his neck, reminding him of what they’d done the other night. His dick throbbed with a renewed surge of desire and he lowered his head to suck on the sensitive bit of skin under her earlobe. Instead of the taste he’d had quickly grown accustomed to, so typically hers, her skin tasted of something plastic and floral. Cal couldn’t help the confusion from showing in his furrowed brow as he released her flesh and tried to figure out what was it. 

She noticed and gave him a funny look. 

“What? Did you think my hickeys disappeared in 24 hours?” She shook her head condescendingly. “It’s concealer and I’m not authorizing you to ruin it. I still have an afternoon class left.”

That wasn’t fair. He’d had to show every bruise to the world like a walking visual storytelling project. A deep hidden creature at the bottom of his gut wanted to push her against the bookshelf and lick and rub the concealer off so everyone who saw her  _ knew  _ and stayed the fuck away. That hidden creature was safely tucked away in a cage of morality, thank goodness. Cal nodded obediently. 

“I’m proud of mine.” He differentiated himself from her and folded his arms.

“I’m shocked by this information,” Mare deadpanned . “The prototype alpha male showing off battle scars.”

_ That’s exactly how he’d thought of them! _ He couldn’t keep his offended stance and smirked sheepishly. Mare seized the opportunity to pry his arms open and place his hands on her slim shoulders as she dropped to her knees.

It sucked the air from his lungs and left him in a hyperaware state as she unfastened his belt and unzipped his jeans. His abdominal muscles clenched in anticipation.

After their make-out session, he was as hard as one could get but she still stroked him a few times with her adorably tiny hand and peered up at him to pull him deeper into hell. 

“And you’re such a brave-” up and down, making his body coil and shiver in response. “Strong.” He had to clench his jaw painfully to keep from letting out a moan. “Good soldier. Are you now?”

He made a sound like a wounded beast at the back of his throat. In his mind, it was a thank you. A hazy, incoherent version of it. Mare started kissing his length, from the base to the tip. Cal gripped her ponytail with one hand and held on to a shelf with the other. Only then she wrapped her lips around him. 

The tortuous pace she set was meant to burn him alive. Held back moans and grunts fought to surface but he choked them back. The sight of her on her knees fed that primal creature inside him and filled with him dark satisfaction, even as his admiration of Mare increased with every maddening suck and stroke of her tongue.

Beautiful, incredible woman. He liked her so fucking much. His hips rocked with a mind on their own and Mare moaned around him. The flames reached his head and burnt all reason away. He barely held back from thrusting into her mouth and let her continue at her whim. 

Silence was a must but soft, jaded gasps escaped his parted lips as his climax built and solidified to break through him like an avalanche when she pumped his base as she sucked. 

He would apologize later about the sudden tightness in his grip as his hips did one-two thrusts making her take more of him and he spilled inside her throat. Mare was so good, so generous she swallowed everything he had to give without missing a beat. 

She released him with a lewd sound that he would surely use as fantasy material tonight and tucked him back in his jeans. 

They were both breathing in quiet pants, his heart was about to burst from his chest. While the orgasm satisfied his body, he felt like he needed more of her, to give her more of him. That craving was an ever-crescent black hole. Pulling her up her feet by the arm, he cupped her face and wiped her mouth with his thumb, and kissed her. Cheeks and nose and forehead he covered with chaste, firm kisses. 

He pleaded with rough voice and his heart in a fist. “Please tell me there’s something I can do for you.” 

~📕~📕~

He didn’t have to do anything. Not even this whole show of… _ affection _ (disgusting) he was doing. Mare had willingly offered what she wanted to give him and enjoyed every minute of it. 

However, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, could she be blamed for basking in his attention? Could she be blamed for letting her heart grow bigger and bigger inside her chest until it felt like it would break her ribs from the inside? She was an innocent. And if she was succumbing to something she shouldn’t, it was because of her period hormones. 

She scrunched up her face and giggled like an idiot at the onslaught of kisses. “What are you going to do? Buy me tampons and rub my back?” The two most _ beloved  _ activities by men all over the world.

“Yes, anything.” He locked his bronze  gaze with hers showing him he meant it . Well, fuck her . 

Cal pushed her back so now she was the one pinned to a bookshelf’s hard edges and devoured her mouth in a kiss like a blazing fire. She arched into him and tugged at his annoyingly luscious hair, in her wordless, violent way of thanking him. Without missing a beat Cal slipped his hand under her T-shirt and kneaded her nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure-pain so heightened, a short, high whimper left her. She immediately covered her mouth with both hands. Anyone in a mile radius could have heard that. 

“Did it hurt?” he examined her with a worried pinch of his brow. 

“No.” Mare dropped her hands to his sides, clinging to his shirt like handles. “You know how after a game your muscles are all sore and weird? Same concept but with my boobs,” she coyly explained. “With the only plus being that they also get a little bigger.”

Talking periods . How unsexy of her. 

Cal seemed unfazed, if only a little worried still until an idea lit up his face. “ I get it. Let me help you.”

And the son of a bitch slid his other hand under her T-shirt and palmed her other very sore breast and started massaging them like they were stress balls. She was sure he meant well and if these were her shoulders it would feel amazing but they fucking weren’t. The acute stimulus made her soak through her panties in a wave of heat that had her pushing her face into his chest to anchor herself somewhere. 

“Cal,” she gritted out, breathing deeply through her nose to keep from moaning. “That _ is not _ doing what you think it’s doing.”

He stopped but didn’t remove his hands from her. Actually, when he was just applying pressure it did soothe the soreness. 

“It feels bad?”

Mare lifted her gaze and blew a strand of hair out of her face. He recognized the darkness in her dilated pupils with an embarrassed  _ ‘ah’ _ . And God have mercy because she found his stupidity hot.

“Seriously, a boob massage?” 

His pale skin flushed in patches of red that reached his ears. “When you put it like that...” he muttered but still didn’t remove his hands. “Would a regular back massage work?”

_ YES! Yes! _ The Queen of England wished she had what Mare did. Giving him head in exchange for a personal masseur and getting oral; this  Calore guy really knew how to sweeten a deal. She was going to praise his negotiation skills when the clap of heels against the stone alerted them of an incoming person. They split apart so fast Cal almost knocked his forehead on the opposite shelf, pretending to be looking for a book as she grabbed the nearest one, opened it on a random page, and buried her face in it.

“The tenth tome of Matthew Henry’s Holy Bible commentary?” Feminine voice drenched in an insufferable snobbish accent. Evangeline. Kill her, kill her now. “Such a thought-provoking read, Mare.”

Mare looked up  in the visitor’s direction, standing some 10 feet away, folded arms and tapping a black claw against her temple as she switched her evil gaze from her to Cal.

“I wonder what dear Matthew would have to say about what you two were doing back here,”  Evangeline mused with a growing smirk. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say it was not reading the bible.”

“You didn’t see anything,” Cal tried to defend them and Mare had to hold back from physically face-palming.

“Aha, then you  _ were _ doing something.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head slowly. “I pay over 50 thousand a year for you  nasties to taint the library like this.”

“You pay 50 thousand a year to waste the professors’ time,” Mare couldn’t let her freely poke fun at her.

“Whatever the case may be, _ I  _ pay them. Can you say the same, Charity?” Again with the classist jabs as if she was supposed to feel bad about having a scholarship. It was so outrageous it worked in getting her all fired up.

“Eve,” Cal said with a warning tone, approaching the girl.

_ Eve? EVE? _

“Wait. You guys know each other?” 

_ Eve _ looked at her as if she was rummaging through a catalog of a million clever replies to her ignorance, but then narrowed her eyes and addressed Cal.

“I’m genuinely offended you didn’t tell her about us. Lucky for you,” she clapped her hands and pivoted on her heel, “we have much to do for tonight’s dinner and you promised to help me.”

Cal gave Mare an apologetic half-smile and motioned for her to go first. 

While Cal packed his forgotten notebooks into his backpack, Evangeline hovered around him listing things they had to buy. It was like watching a snake circling a puppy. Mare felt the need to grab his arm and run for cover when her escape plans were interrupted by the flash of a book Cal shoved into his backpack at light speed. 

“And what does  Elane say about meeting us so soon?” Cal asked good-naturedly, very typical of him. And Evangeline’s whole aura transformed into a different person, brighter, happier like she wouldn’t stab you 37 times if you stood in her way.

“She’s very excited.” Then she grabbed Cal’s forearm and insisted with a disarmed tone that made it clear how important this was for her. “Everything needs to be perfect.” 

Evangeline Samos had a soul. Mare couldn’t get over her shock.

“We’ll knock it out of the park, Eve.” Cal made to pat her on the shoulder but Eve took a step back with a grimace.

“This is an exclusive Philipp  Plein jacket and I don’t know where that hand has been in the past hour.” She lifted her palms in a _ stay away from me _ gesture and gave Mare a pointed look. 

_ This _ Evangeline, she was familiar with. Mare raised her brows, daring her to make another comment, which she thankfully abstained from.

“You’re invited to tonight’s dinner, by the way.” Evangeline didn’t bother looking back as she extended the invitation, expecting Cal to follow after her. 

He stayed behind, regarding Mare expectantly.

Dinner with Evangeline was about as tempting as going for a swim in piranha-infested waters . 

“Hard pass, but thanks. We’ll talk later.” And they said an awkward goodbye. 

Alone, Mare furrowed her brows, lowering her gaze to the now empty table. Her eyes hadn’t deceived her. The book Cal had hidden as if it was a kilo of cocaine had been her poetry book. Not  _ her _ book precisely, but  _ the _ book. Why did he have that?

~📕~

The weekend (and her period) went by in a blur. Cal spent a good portion of Saturday in her room, both of them making good on their promises until he had to leave for a celebratory party at the manor. On Sunday he forced her to wake up early so they would go to Harbor Bay’s park outside of campus to study. As a treat he had an Uber Eats deliver to them the grilled cheese from the bar at Oceania street she liked so much, and they turned the study session into a picnic. 

This blurred lines into confusing territory, but she gave herself a pass because of hormones and shit. On Tuesday, the excuse vanished into thin air, and still, they couldn’t agree on a good moment for their next _ ‘lesson’ _ because of his practice and her last-minute revisions before she had to send the final draft of her Circuits Analysis project.

They talked, though. A lot. Cal always found a good excuse or a funny meme to start a conversation and she didn’t mind. In fact, sending him voice messages going off on college rants or just to tell him something she thought he might be interested in, like that new Netflix docuseries where they investigated historical murders with puppets, kept her sane. And since she wasn’t trying to keep him as a date, or a boyfriend- not even a friend -she wasn’t worried about how she might come across. 

If she ever decided to get back in the dating market, this would be her go-to strategy to scare away the bad ones. She spent less time thinking of Eli every day that went by, yes, but her return to the dating world wouldn’t be any time soon.

It was 3 am on Friday and she was burning her eyelids at the library (the functional one) doing a final read of her work before having to send it at 8 am when she remembered Cal’s semifinals game was that same day. 

She texted him a ‘good luck’ and her thumb hovered over the red heart emoji longer than she was going to ever admit. It was just a fucking emoji. Still, her pulse kicked up and she held a breath before sending it. 

And when she did, she hoped to God he wouldn’t think much of it, because she did.

~📕~📕~

There were historical processes that could only be  pieced together after the dust settled and time gave room for perspective. Cal appreciated this, he even found it one of the perks of the  area. Except for now.

He wished to every deity in heaven and below this wasn’t happening. Yet, it was. And he could trace a neat straight timeline with three flags to mark the events that led him to this fateful moment.

_Flag number one._

At the party on Saturday, he’d seen Sonya Iral talking all night long to a lanky, good-looking dude he didn’t recognize. He’d passed by them three times, and it’s not that he was observant, it’s that every time it had looked like they were in the middle of an intense therapy session, which was odd.

_Flag number two._

At the park, on Sunday, (brilliant idea, truly) Mare and him studied mostly in silence, with the music Cal had picked playing in the background. The detail that she had  expressly complimented his music taste made him puff out his chest with pride. 

She had insisted they placed the blanket under the sun. So, while she looked like a radiant wood nymph, her golden skin literally glowing, he would have to apply lotion to his face and arms later because he’d forgotten to wear sunblock and he was slowly turning into a red dried chili pepper.

It was all worth it to see her glare at her Thermodynamics textbook like it had personally insulted her only to soften once she understood the text and underlined the pages and took notes. For real, he didn’t believe she looked the same way she had when they met, she was even more beautiful now. He couldn’t look at her for too long because his heart started doing flips and turns and it simply stopped working properly. One day she would smile at him and he would drop dead.

The alarm that indicated their 20-minute break beeped and Mare dropped the book, groaning ‘ _ finally’, _ and flopped over to her back, closing her eyes. Cal lied down opposite to her, his head next to hers on the blanket.

They talked nonsense during these breaks, and during this one in particular, Cal saw an airplane between the clouds and it prompted him to comment.

“I used to have so many dream careers as a kid.”

Mare hummed noncommittally. “Can’t relate. Tell me one.”

“A pilot.”

She heaved a long sigh and whispered to herself. “What are dreams made for if not for getting broken?” 

Cal twisted his head to the side to see her, but her expression remained peaceful. Like she’d said these words so many times before they no longer carried that much weight. And the logical part of his brain struggled for a moment to find why the declaration had seemed so familiar. Then it clicked. There was a piece of the poem that felt like what she’d said.

_ Todas _ __ _ íbamos _ _ a  _ _ ser _ __ _ reinas _ _ , _

_ y de  _ _ verídico _ __ _ reinar _ _ ; _

_ pero _ __ _ ninguna _ _ ha  _ _ sido _ __ _ reina _

_ ni _ __ _ en _ __ _ Arauco _ __ _ ni _ __ _ en _ _ Copán... _

_ We were all to be queens and in real-life reign yet none of us has reigned.  _ He started to recognize a pattern there, but before his ruminations could get him far, as if she sensed he was figuring something out, Mare opened her eyes and turned toward him.

“We’re on a break.” She rolled over again so she was on her stomach, propped up on her elbows, the sight of her face upside down and inches from his. “Stop thinking so loudly.”

And she lowered herself to kiss him, their faces hidden from the world by a curtain of her soft brown and purple hair. It did an excellent job of aborting his deductive process.

_Flag number three._

Wednesday night he went to the laundry room of the Manor. The lanky guy from the party, who apparently lived here, was there, leaning on a dryer as he waited for his clothes. 

Cal said hi with a tilt of his chin and proceeded to put his clothes in the washer, whistling a tune.

“We haven’t been introduced.” Lanky guy materialized next to him with an extended hand and a relaxed smile. “I just moved here two weeks ago.”

“Cal,” he introduced himself and shook the guy’s hand once.

“Yeah, I know. I’m Eli,” he said and read every  microexpression in Cal’s features. 

He did try to remain neutral, but he couldn’t help wariness from rising in his gut and his back from stiffening as he let go of Eli’s hand.

“Congratulations are in order.” There wasn’t a glimpse of animosity in his blue eyes. He even seemed cheerful. “For winning the game _ and _ the girl.”

He had no polite answers for that so he just nodded and went on doing his laundry, programming the washing cycle as if pushing two buttons was deciphering a NASA launch code. 

“I must admit I was surprised Mare would go for a guy the likes you, no offense.” Eli put his hands in his pockets as he confided in him as if they weren’t strangers to each other. “Or you for someone like her.” 

_ Ignore him,  _ Cal counted down from ten, taking deep breaths, balling his fist at his side.

“But after hearing what the guys say about the noise from your room, it does make sense. Mare is an excellent lay and she _ does _ suck like she gets paid by the hour.”

The layer of volcanic rock that held back his temper cracked and he erupted in a fit of barely restrained fury. He fisted the collar of Eli’s shirt and forced him to look up. 

“Don’t speak of her ever again,” he ordered in a clear, low voice that surged from his burning chest. “Not to me, not to  _ anyone _ . We are not friends, and if you don’t stay in line, I can assure you I have plenty of friends willing to give you reminders.”

Eli’s eyes were round as plates and he lifted his palms, quickly replacing his fear for pity. “Aw man, don’t tell me you fell for her.” Cal’s grip slacked on his shirt and Eli took it as an incentive to go on. “Don’t do it. She will trick you like the pro she is. Do you think those glimpses of vulnerability she allows you to see are a slipup?”

A slap to the face. The memory of Mare’s behavior in the park was too fresh and potent to contain. Cal backed away from the guy and something must have shown on his face because Eli smirked.

“They’re not. She does it to string you along, keeping you like a lovesick puppy and then dumping you without remorse because she never promised you anything in the first place. Mare can’t love you back.”

A rusted iron maiden closed on his heart and he had to fold his arms tightly to keep the blood from oozing out. He felt his face paling at every word, at the prospect of everything he was growing to love about her being some elaborate ruse meant to...

“She’ll use you and drop you,” Eli’s eyes were full of sympathy. “Run while you still can.”

Cal was crumbling under the inevitability of losing her... until he remembered the image of her when they’d met, blindfolded and bound in his bed, spilling out her soul for this guy right here in an attempt to make him happy, to fix something that wasn’t even her fault. This motherfucker right here had done that to her, warped her mind into his will. And now he was twisting reality again to make him doubt her. Cal felt he was going mad as his breathing quickened and the rage inside him turned everything black. She had given this piece of shit her heart and her body and he dared to speak of her like this?

“You have 3 seconds to leave before I kill you,” Cal threatened, gripping the edges of the nearest washer until his knuckles turned white. “Your choice.”

It was fascinating how fast the sympathy act dropped. “Seriously?” Eli scoffed. “Fine, have fun getting fucked over by your precious little slut.”

In his defense, he did count to three. He lunged at the guy and threw two right hooks at his face and one to the mouth of his stomach savoring like a rabid dog the feeling of bones cracking and the air leaving his lungs in pained cries. And that was it, the monster cooled down enough so he could reel it back into his cage just as the guys who had heard the commotion filtered into the laundry. Not one of them took a step in their direction and their shocked faces made sense return faster into his body. 

Cal bumped Cantos’ shoulder as he left the room, needing air to clear his head from the part of him that still wanted to bash Eli’s skull and rip his hands off for ever daring to go in Mare’s proximity. 

“Do you want us to finish the job,  Calore ?” Cantos asked, hesitating for the first time in his life about getting involved in a fight.

“No. Just make sure I don’t see his face around here and ignore whatever he says.” When Cal craned his neck to shoot him one last warning glare, meaning next time he wouldn’t leave walking, Eli’s lips twisted into a horrible bloody grin,

“Thanks, Cal.” He slurred through the blood. “Good luck this Friday.” 

_End of the timeline._

The Silver Eagles bulldozed through the game and won without an issue. The quarterback once again the center of adoration as the whistle pierced the night and teammates, coach, and cheerleaders rushed to him like magnets. Cal had been on edge, aggressive during every play, filled with adrenaline that was draining right now, leaving him light-headed and compliant and distracted.

Worst of all, distracted. 

He removed his helmet and didn’t pay attention to the hands that grabbed him. He didn’t pay attention to the tall, resolute cheerleader that approached him from the side and forcefully wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him down as she crushed their lips together.

Sonya  kissed him and a thousand camera flashes caught it from all angles.


	10. Shed your layers (but put on a mask)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it! sort of.   
> This is part one. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think!

_ I don’t care.  _ _ I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care I don’t care. I don’t care.  _ _ I don’t care.  _

«OMG  couple goals 😍» 

« is it wrong I ship them?» 

« I don’t even know who these people are but damn they’re hot» 

«They are so beautiful , imagine how their children will look like» 

_ I DO NOT CARE.  _ _ I don’t.  _

4 words. 10 letters. Mare had been hammering them in her brain and holding down the lid over the bubbling, boiling pot of her emotions over the past 36 hours.

“Yeah, and when Calore did that sweep?” Kilorn laughed handing a nail over to Shade, who sat on the floor, an unfinished TV rack before him. “How did they not see that one coming?”

They were over at Shade’s house, assembling a TV rack he’d bought over Craigslist. Cheap because one of the boxes of panels was a completely different color and it didn’t include instructions. Mare was 70% sure it had been stolen from a warehouse. 

Kilorn and her brother had been talking about the game non-stop for hours. Calore this, Calore that, and the lid of her pot slid open, letting out steam in a  high-pitched whistle .

“Can you talk about something other than that stupid game?” she bellowed and the boys turned into wide-eyed statues. She was sitting on the other side of the piece of furniture, nailing small shelves that were a nightmare in place. “Kilorn, check the instructions for this part again.” 

“Ok, ok,” he replied placatingly and reached for her phone on the dining room table a few feet away; they had downloaded a pdf with instructions for this model. “It says 3 square shelves on the left and—”  _ 3? Then why did it come with four square panels? Fuck _ __ _ ready-to-assemble furniture _ . “—you have 10 unread texts from _ T. from physics.”  _ He pronounced the name exaggerating the consonants for emphasis.

Mare looked up, blood draining from her face, frozen in place by the certainty that if she pounced on him, he would definitely know something was up.

“He seems worried about explaining something,  _ yada  _ _ yada _ and when is your next lesson going to be,”  Kilorn read aloud disinterested until that last part where he twisted his lips down and raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t know you were tutoring someone.”

“Yes,” she wheezed out, sweating buckets. “A freshman.”

“Aha, he says the oral lesson is pending, that he didn’t forget.”  Kilorn glanced at her mockingly and snorted. “How bad did you scam this kid? You  _ suck _ at oral presentations.”

Oh Kilorn, he had no idea just how right he was. In more than one way. 

She shrugged him off, still paranoid he would scroll up and read  _ everything _ else. 

Every conversation she silently, deeply regretted. She regretted forgetting the arrangement she had chosen to protect herself when it was clear  Tiberias ‘the quarterback’  Calore remembered it so well.

The Silver Eagles official Instagram usually posted updates on how the game was going and last Friday had not been the exception. After her (stupid) plans of going to the game in person had been frustrated by her falling asleep when she’d intended to take a 20 minutes nap to recover from pulling an all-nighter, she’d opened that profile to see.

Yes, they had won. And not only they had won, but Tiberias had been happy to celebrate all pressed— no. Stitched up, merged into one single body with Sonya Iral. The quarterback and the cheerleader. Their picture had five thousand comments and 70k likes. That was 20 thousand more than the number of followers of the profile for fuck’s sake. 

Yet, she did not give a damn about that. She didn’t care about Sonya’s perfect height to easily kiss him without him having to crane his neck awkwardly. She didn’t care about their perfect King and Queen of college aesthetic. She didn’t care about the passionate force that seemed to emanate from the picture in the point where their lips were crushed together. 

There truly was no excuse for her to feel anything other than indifference toward the picture. The acid churning in her stomach that made her feel furious, sad, and disappointed all at the same time had nothing to do with this. 

“You’re coming to the party, right?”  Kilorn had been talking to her for the past minutes and she hadn’t been paying attention. 

“I’d rather swallow a cactus.” She resumed nailing the shelves, and in her restless state, whacked her thumb with the hammer. “FUCK.” She dropped the hammer and hugged her hand to her chest, her eyes watering at the sharp pain.

“That’s a pity.” Farley showed up with three bottles of beer and handed one to each of them. “I’m going. Abdication Day is the one holiday I appreciate.” 

Shade got to his feet and embraced his girlfriend to thank her for the beer in an unusual PDA, kissing her forehead and then stepping behind her to rest his chin on her shoulder. Even stranger, Farley didn’t shoo him away after 3 seconds.

Of course, Diana Farley, democracy’s number one fan and advocate, would enjoy this specific holiday. The celebrations started three days prior to the 27 th of March, when Norta’s last king had abdicated after the Reds, a rebel faction of students, had infiltrated White Fire Palace by wearing disguises and forced him to step down unless he wanted to lose his head,  which he happened to be very fond of. 

Almost 200 years later, Norta’s educational establishments suspended classes the first day of the Infiltration and special activities took place until the 27 th .

Those brave revolutionaries had risked their lives after months of civil unrest and bloodbath so 21st-century college students had an excuse to get shitfaced and wear cheap, slutty costumes for 72 hours. Long live the republic.

“Abdication Day is fine. It’s just, the party is going to be full of idiots.”  _ And Cal is going to be there. _ “Besides, renting a costume is such a waste of money.”  _ And  _ Tiberias _ is going to be there. _

“You could go in regular clothes,” Shade suggested.

Mare gave up on the shelves, got to her feet, and countered back. “I could use the time to study.”  _ Had she mentioned the ‘kisser of cheerleaders’ better known as Cal was going to be there? Not that it affected her. _

She swigged her bottle of beer in long, thirsty gulps as she went over to  Kilorn’s side to retrieve her phone before he could read more of her messages like it was his own phone. Sometimes, the lack of boundaries with her best friend was a pain in the butt. 

“If you change your mind, we’ll get ready at Ann’s place, and then we’ll go to the club.” Farley offered, absentmindedly rubbing her thumb over Shade’s forearm around her waist.

“You’re not drinking?”  Kilorn pointed the tip of his bottle to Farley’s empty hands.

For some reason, Shade grinned and opened his mouth but Diana elbowed him on the ribs and replied nonchalantly.

“I don’t feel like it.” She shook off Shade’s embrace and replaced Mare in the furniture assembling task. “I’ll text you the address, Mare. Just in case.”

“I’m not going,” Mare sighed rolling back her eyes.

In truth, she didn’t want to face him because she was extremely embarrassed about  everything she’d allowed herself to tell him (to do to him). As if she’d lost her mind every  time he’d looked at her with those eyes of swirling, molten bronze, every time his voice of smoke, velvet, and whisky had caressed her skin in hot breaths.

Weeks ago, Shade had said something that started to surface in her memory.  _ “The day you truly fall in love...” _ She whacked the memory with a hammer like she’d done with her thumb.

This was the end of this discussion. She didn’t want to see Tiberias and  _ maybe, probably,  _ lash out at him for no reason so she was not attending the party on Wednesday night.

Mare didn’t have an excuse to be angry at him... until Eli provided one.

~🎭~

_«Hey Mare»_

_«Ok, so I see you’re getting my texts. That’s cool. First off, I wanted to apologize if I made you feel bad the other day. I was heartbroken and you were mad, we both said things we regret. Please, for the sake of our good times, forgive me»_

_«I honestly wish you every bit of happiness and know that you’ll always have a friend in me. I still worry about you, and that’s why I can’t keep this from you.»_

_«I worry this Cal guy you’re dating may be a potential abuser. I know it wasn’t my place but the other day I approached him and tried to talk to him about you, tell him to appreciate you, and he started acting like an entitled misogynist, proudly showing off his toxic masculinity. After seeing his reaction, I told him to leave you alone and he beat the shit out of me with help of his jock friends. Thought you should know if you’re going to be dating him. Be careful»_

In the picture he’d sent, half of Eli’s face was a swollen purplish black pulp. His left eye was a gross red ball with busted capillaries.

Mare’s stomach dropped to the ground, heavy with horror and disgust. She may have her issues with her ex, it still didn’t give Tiberias an excuse to act like he  _ owned  _ her and exert this kind of violence. Not that she was against violence when it didn’t concern her but this was literally about her. What right did he have to do that when he was making out (and probably more) with other women? _ Fuck him. Fuck him to hell and back. _

How much did she know about him? Whet he strategically chose to share apparently. 

It was about time she reminded him (and herself) no man could control, nor own her. She would feed him a generous piece of humble pie and she had just the occasion.

~🎭~

Ann wrapped her in a bear hug, deafening her with a ' _ you came!' _ squeal, even though she had texted her beforehand to let her know. 

Mare forced a smile and followed her into the apartment, crowded with too many half-undressed girls and a few boys running around frantically, asking for glitter or a hot glue gun. 

Ann was dressed as a sexy milkmaid and sipping a strawberry daiquiri as she tiptoed her way between her guests and told Mare she could pour herself anything she wanted from the kitchen at the back.

“Where can I get changed?” Mare shifted the sports bag strap on her shoulder and only then Ann noticed it with an excited gasp.

“Oh my god! I’m so silly, come with me!” She grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into a bedroom and closed the door behind her. “I thought you weren’t going to wear one. That’s what I got from what Farley told me.”

Mare exhaled through her nose and steeled herself. Initially, she wasn’t going to wear one, just a mini dress. But when she’d texted Gisa for advice, she had pressed for details, and saying no to her annoying little sister was off the table. 

Gisa had taken her offense personally and what had she done? She’d used her fashion skills for evil, taken a deep dive in Wikipedia, and guided her step by step in the confection of a perfect costume for the occasion.

Twenty minutes later, with Ann’s help in the make-up department, Mare had fully transformed into the godly embodiment of retribution. A black tattered toga that ended dangerously high, Greek sandals, a pair of black wings, a whip, and a sword strapped to either side of her hips, and to add the extra spice, small weighing scales earrings  Gisa had found on Etsy.

Nemesis, the goddess of revenge. A little on the nose if you asked her, but luckily people would mistake her for-

“You are the prettiest demon I’ve ever seen,” Ann gushed as she finished her smoky eye. “No horns?”

Mare hitched a shoulder, not bothering to correct her. 

“Done!” Ann took a step back to admire her work. “Planning on dragging any mortals down to hell tonight?” 

She smiled darkly, determined to have a good time and torture one mortal in particular in the process. 

“You’ve read my mind.”

~🎭~🎭~

Mare had replied to his pathetic texts on Monday. Almost three days after the cursed Sonya event. 

Cal had pushed Sonya away as politely as he could before getting trapped in the mob. His plan had been to reach the phone inside his locker immediately to send a damage control text along the lines of  _ We made it to the finals! And Sonya just randomly kissed me  _ _ haha _ _ I didn’t kiss her back. Anyway, let’s ignore that and please spend the night with me  _ _ ‘cause _ _ you’re the only person I want to see right now and I’m just so fucking tired. _

Fate had it in for him. His father had been waiting at the edge of the field, grinning proudly. He’d urged him to hurry up so they could go for dinner with some important businessmen in a 5-star restaurant. 

Cal didn’t get the chance to send the text well after midnight when his father dropped him off back in  Hitze Manor’s gates. His phone had been blowing up with Instagram notifications, where a post from hours ago immortalized the dreadful instant, and it had amassed 15k likes. Mare must have seen it already. And what was he supposed to do? They had this whole no-strings thing he hated, and texting her just to explain a kiss would give her the wrong impression. 

This was a huge dent in his make-Mare-fall-in-love plan. Monumental.

He omitted the kiss altogether and texted her as if it hadn’t happened. Bad move, according to Evangeline. Still, there was also a huge chance she honestly didn’t care about it and was just busy... but that heart she’d sent. Maybe it mattered, and he’d ruined things. Whatever the case, he didn’t get a chance to explain over the weekend, and when Mare’s text arrived, it was ambiguous in every sense of the word.

Cold and piercing as an icicle. He’d read the last text for a million years before typing a reply. From a hopeful heart emoji to a _fuck you_ wink. He had such shitty luck, he didn’t deserve to be wearing the Caesar Augustus costume he’d rented for tonight.

He was clad in golden and red, the colors of glory and his soul was drenched in blue, as the song said.

The whole gang was dressed in togas, some really good, other shapeless sheets with plastic swords strapped to the hip. He didn’t have the energy to explain to his friends that the sword didn’t go with the white togas and that their style was Greek, not Roman. Additionally, Cal’s participation tonight was a charade. He was not going to the party to have fun, heaven forbid, he was going to deliberately run into Mare and see her eyes when they were face to face; read her and try to figure out if things were alright like she’d implied on her text or the alternative.

The horrible alternative that made him sweat cold and crack his knuckles anxiously.

The club had an ‘Infiltration night’ banner at the entry steps, where a photographer took pictures for the best costume contest. 

The Silver Eagles players skipped the line and cheers erupted in the air. People were still happy about their recent victory. He didn’t want to think too much about the irony of them getting special privileges on a night where equal rights among men had been obtained. 

“Julius Caesar?” The photographer inquired as he focused his camera on him. 

“Caesar Augustus,” Cal corrected him and rearranged his scarlet cape covering half of his gilded cuirass so the flash wouldn’t bounce off of it. For good measure he rearranged the golden laurel wreath over his head, the thing was itchy as fuck.

The flash blinded him for an instant, then his smile disappeared with the same speed.

At the top of the stairwell, Ptolemus waited, face hidden behind a Melpomene mask, nudged him with his elbow, and told him to wait for his sister.

Naturally, Evangeline had to make a grand entrance. 

A limo parked on the street and Eve elegantly stepped down, stabbing the pavement with silver stilettos that could double as fencing swords if she wanted. Her silver dress hugged her athletic frame like liquid mercury, on her platinum hair she had an imposing halo crown with a crescent moon and stars. She held out her hand to help a second woman exit the vehicle. Elane looked unearthly in a golden dress like her girlfriend’s and matching headpiece, but instead of the moon, her fairy red hair was crowned by the sun. 

Some guys waiting in line wolf-whistled and Tolly took an instinctive step forward. Evangeline ignored them and sauntered up the steps with her girlfriend wrapped around her arm as if she was proud to display all the beauty those guys would never even touch. Good for her.

The four of them marched into the club, swallowed by the red and blue flashing lights and the deafening rapid beat of the music as if they owned the world, direct descendants of the gods.

_ How to go from descendant of the gods to the dirt under Mare sandals in 10 minutes, a self-flagellating guide by Cal Calore.  _

The second he ran into her when he’d gone to get drinks, he had been unprepared and vulnerable. 

She was leaning her elbows over the bar, looking like a figment from a wet dream, the embodiment of sin, a delicious stab in the chest. He’d opened his mouth to say hi only to remember they weren’t supposed to acknowledge each other... It didn’t stop him from standing right next to her and eating her with his eyes. He had permission for that, right?

Mare’s posture stiffened but her eyes remained stubbornly fixed on the wall of bottles across the bar. His skin prickled with the impulse to reach out and brush his knuckles along her shoulder and down her arm. 

“There you go, sweetheart,” the bartender arrived with a tall fruity drink with a grapefruit slice on the rim and gave it to Mare with a wink. “I’ll get in so much trouble if my boss finds out I’m giving you free drinks,” the fedora-wearing idiot leaned over the bar to speak to her.

“Aren’t the best things the ones that are secret, though?” Mare batted her eyelashes and put the straw between her red lips in a way that would have made his blood rush south if she wasn’t directing it to the idiot in front of her. His muscles started to lock like a cocked gun. 

The bartender’s dumb smirk was practically dripping drool over his chin. “You’re so right. If you want anything else, _ anything _ , you know who to look for.” He tugged at his suspenders with his thumbs. Did he think he looks cool? Someone should inform him he looked like a fool.

Mare let out a soft girly laugh he’d never heard from her as she gifted the guy one last smile and turned away. For an instant, time slowed down as her face morphed from sultry to annoyed, and then, when her brown eyes locked with his, something so malevolent it triggered his flight instinct. A white flash of the lights made her earrings stand out as she ripped her gaze free, turning away completely. Weighing scales. 

That small detail plus the rest of the outfit answered two questions. One, she was a goddess of revenge for the night. And two- Cal swallowed -she was  _ a tad _ angry at him.

When he returned to the elevated VIP section, he saw Sonya dressed up as a proper Roman Empress, chatting animatedly with Elane, and inwardly died a thousand small deaths. As soon as she spotted him, she threw her arms around him. 

This time he tilted his chin high in the sky as a precaution and twisted around to make sure Mare wasn’t— __ _ Goddamnit _ , Mare had been watching him from  the dancefloor . She looked away so fast, he wasn’t sure he had imagined it. The club had two dance floors over a thousand square feet each and her friends had decided to stay where Mare could see this . 

“It has to be destiny that we decided to wear matching outfits!” Sonya released him from her hug and beamed at him. Cal looked at Eve for help and she looked at her girlfriend as a silent explanation. So Elane had given Sonya the heads up, fantastic.

“Sure,” he gritted out, trying his best to be civil. Sonya had always been nice to him. What had gotten into her to start being so forward with her advances, he didn’t know. 

“2 gin tonics,” he announced redirecting his attention to Elane and Eve, delivering their requested drinks.

Sulking, he went over to the glass railing and tried his hardest not to stare at Mare and succeeded for the impressive duration of 2.5 seconds. There she was, chewing on her straw, talking to a shirtless asshole dressed as a boxer. The asshole flexed his abs and pointed at them repeatedly in a _ punch me _ gesture. Mare laughed and obliged merrily. 

_ What the fuck? He isn’t even that ripped. _

“Drink this,” Eve appeared at his side and offered the gin tonic. “You need this way more than I do.”

There was no arguing that. He threw back the drink and grimaced even though he could barely taste the alcohol. It was more of a reaction to seeing lovely Ann Walsh turn to the dark side and drag _ a second _ shirtless guy dressed as a swimmer to Mare so they could- what? Start a flexing competition?  _ Ha! _ If he wasn’t above such ridiculous douchebag-y display he could easily beat them.

“I did some digging,” his friend looked at Mare as well, her lips turning up in amusement. “Had Elane ask Sonya what drove her to be so bold.”

“Can’t wait to hear it,” Cal ground his molars so hard he would crack a tooth. It was as if fire and crawled inside his eyes and under his skin.

“She said she’s been talking to this amazing, sweet psych major she met at a  Hitze party, and that he’s been speaking some truths to her.” Her tone was mockingly buoyant. “About how it’s time for her to take the reins of her life and love life. So, basically, he’s been-”

“Manipulating her,” they both said at the same time. 

Eli, the failed subhuman abortion, was out for blood.  The loathing he felt was suffocating. He lifted his hand to run it through his hair but the fucking wreath wouldn’t let him.

“I still don’t understand how you let him live,” Eve muttered breezily and leaned her hip on the railing. “If someone had tried that with Elane, their pieces would be scattered in five different dumpsters around the city by now.”

He didn’t doubt it for a second. In the social circles they moved, the Samos family was known to take care of their opponents in gruesome ways. They didn’t bluff.

The music beat changed from energetic to sensual and inviting and the shitheads around Mare started a pissing contest of who could hold her attention longer as they rubbed themselves all over her. Cal rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger so harshly, his vision blurred after he stopped. If someone were to poke him with a needle, lava would shoot out of him.

“He still might show up burned at the stake,” he growled and Eve raised her eyebrows, impressed.

“Testosterone? In  _ my _ wholesome friend? She’s really doing a number on you.” She leaned into his side to whisper in his ear like the devil. “Why don’t you go over there and mark your territory?”

The right thing to do would be to deny it outright and go find a girl to distract himself or whatever, but he was locked in place as if he’d stepped into tar.

“She’s not _territory_.” He cracked his knuckles for the millionth time, annoyed at Eve’s knowing smirk. It wasn’t the only reason. Her knowledge that he wasn’t as noble as everyone thought was a small consolation. “And she texted me this-” he pulled his phone from the anachronic pocket in the pteruges skirt and pushed it into Eve’s hands.

“ Oh, you’re in deep shit, Cal. She’s furious.” Evangeline laughed but quickly wiped the mirth from her face, replacing it for empathy, a precious rarity coming from her. “Nevertheless, if you read the text like your daddy dearest reads environmental legislations, you might find a loophole or two there.” She gave him back his phone and tapped on his forehead with a ringed finger. “Do it quickly, before Mare takes her two new besties back to her dorm. They seem cozy.” 

With that last ominous prediction, Eve sauntered back to Elane’s side, carelessly taking her away mid-conversation from Sonya to the back of the VIP section.

Cal frowned and returned his gaze to Mare. She was swaying her hips, throwing her head back, feeling the music, hypnotizingly ethereal under the changing color of the lights... and swimmer boy was getting way too comfortable grabbing her hips. 

He needed to find the loophole in the text Eve had mentioned. Urgently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Nemesis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemesis)   
>  [Caesar Augustus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustus)   
>  [Melpomene mask](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/FB0PKW/tragedy-mask-detail-of-the-melpomenes-statue-muse-of-singing-and-tragedy-FB0PKW.jpg)   
>  [Cuirass and pteruges](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71EmoYi%2Bc9L._AC_SL1500_.jpg)


	11. Shed your layers (but put on a mask) pt2

After wasting half an hour of her life stroking the overinflated egos of dumb and dumber, Mare was entitled to financial compensation. 

From the way Cal glowered from the VIP section (that shouldn’t exist)  when Speedo Steve started getting too handsy, as if he wanted to jump down Gladiator style and chop the limbs off her suitors, she called it a victory. He was uncomfortable with watching? Good. How did he think she’d felt watching him and Sonya live up their Disney fantasy in front of thousands of— ah but _ she didn’t care _ . 

She didn’t think anything of it. The gnawing loneliness closing up her throat and chewing up the splintery edges of the black hole in her heart was just an illusion. When she was with Cal, she never felt this way...

_ Aand _ __ this would be a fantastic time to visit her most recently acquired bartender pal, get a stronger drink, and pick a guy that didn’t look like they would spend more time admiring their own abs flexing as they fucked her, and actually cared about making her come. 

_ One orgasm a day keeps the sadness at bay. _ She cringed at the thought. It made her sound like a depressed sex addict.

“Farley!” Mare broke free from her shirtless human cage and went for her friend. “Let’s go to the bar.”

Her pair of gentlemanly suitors called her a  _ tease _ and a _ bitch  _ when she abandoned them. Ann- who had been a few feet away -heard them. Her mouth  fell open, horrified and she stomped her heel on the boxer’s foot and threw her icy daiquiri in Speedo Steve’s face, then resumed dancing her heart out. Mare was high-key starting to love that girl.

Farley was dancing with the rest of her ABC friends, managing to look too-cool-to-be-here even as she had fun. She nodded and together they went to the bar, pushing through the bodies .

Mare ordered screwdrivers for both of them but Farley pulled her red scarf down from her face to add “ _ Virgin _ screwdriver!”.

“Plain orange juice?” Mare squinted her eyes dumbfounded. 

“And how do you plan on paying for these drinks?” Farley retorted, tilting her head and lifting her brows in a way that said  _ you stay out of my  _ _ shit, _ _ I stay out of yours. _ Fair enough.

“ Arghh I spot a pretty rebel,” Shade’s pirate speak was straight out of SpongeBob. He hooked the lacing of Diana’s corset with his plastic hook and pulled her into his chest. “Aye what a beauty! Care to co-captain me ship?” 

Farley laughed a careless crystalline sound and they kissed.  _ In public _ . Mare scrunched up her face in confusion. They were strongly against PDA, Farley in particular.

“You guys are acting so weird lately,” she commented, getting the drinks from her special bartender, ignoring his attempt to start a conversation, and gave one to Farley.

Shade’s shoulders sagged and he shook his head, staring at her condescendingly. Actually, it was fondness what softened his amber eyes but it was annoying her, so she saw it as condescending.

“Find someone you love and be weird with them, Mare,” he advised. 

She took a sip of her screwdriver and thank God it was strong. “Tonight, all I care about is finding  someone that won’t be a total disappointment in bed .”

Shade grimaced just as Kilorn joined the group, jumping out of the crowd, dressed as a pirate too.

“Aye aye matey. I volunteer for the task!”

Mare snorted and laughed so hard she spilled a bit of her drink. The idiot had probably misheard what she’d said. “Yeah, ok.” 

As she wiped an invisible tear from her eye, she spotted a guy with a nice elaborate costume, an embroidered tunic and cape, a colorful crown that looked too historically accurate to be off the shelf. 

A history major, and a cute one at that. Perfect. If he wasted his time looking for a crown, he  would take his time finding the G spot too. 

And her choosing  _ another _ king, would surely kick  Tiberias’ pride in the balls. 

“Shade, stay away from this guy I’m going to talk to,” she threw a warning glare in her brother’s direction and straightened her back as she closed in on her prey.

The guy saw her approaching and stepped away from his group of friends. That meant he was attracted to girls to some extent. Of to a great start already.

“Hey,” she stepped up to his tall, lean frame. “History major?”

“Yes,” he grinned giving her a not-so-subtle once-over. 

“Straight?” He nodded. “Single?” Another nod. And check, check, check. Damn, she was good. 

“Bravo,” he clapped wearing a flirty smile. “A modern-day Sherlock Holmes. I’m Kahled but you can call me anything you want.” 

Kahled ? And what was his nickname? KAL? Fucking hell. 

Mare forced a smile as he stepped into her space until her back lightly pressed against the wall, and rested a palm next to her head. 

“Mare. What are you tonight?” She pressed a hand to his chest and moved them up to his neck, feeling how he got gooseflesh at her touch, but feeling nothing at all herself. 

“Can’t you guess?” He brushed his knuckles on the side of her face and the urge to lean away was so strong she had to take another long sip of her drink. 

“A king.” 

“Better.” 

“An emperor?” 

“Ding ding ding,” he sang, cupping the back of her neck. Her stomach revolted. 

More alcohol then. 

“A Roman Emperor?” 

“Exactly.” Kahled lowered his face to hers and a swell of panic kicked her ribs. 

“Wait!” He looked at her confused. “Aren’t you going to guess my costume?” 

“Sorry, yes.” He grinned crookedly. Damn it, why wasn’t he turning her on? He was so good-looking. 

Mare threw back the rest of her drink and the buzz finally started to take over her; enough so her skin wouldn’t crawl at his touch. 

“You’re too armed to be a demon and too dark to be an angel.” He mused aloud as he caressed the exposed skin of her shoulders. He squinted his grey eyes and guessed. “You’re an obscure superhero from DC.” 

“She’s Nemesis.” The deep voice cut her to the bone and set her alight. “Goddess of revenge. Does it ring a bell?”

Kahled turned to the left, offended by the interruption. Tiberias wore a plain white toga and the creepy mask of a screaming man. The exact opposite to the lavish golden costume he’d been wearing initially. 

How did she know it was him when she couldn’t see his face? Something unspeakably embarrassing. Apart from the voice, which was kind of obvious, when his smell of winter and pine hit her nostrils, she had greedily filled her lungs with it. Pathetically strung out.

“ Yeah, I knew that. I was teasing her.”  Kahled scoffed. “It’s called flirting? look it up, weirdo.”

A chuckle escaped her and she covered her mouth. Tiberias tensed up. The mask directed its focus at her and she felt goosebumps from the heat in the eyes she couldn’t see. 

“Justinian The Great?” Tiberias ignored the jab. “I think you could do better than the dude that condemned his reign by trusting crooks instead of a seasoned general and best friend.”

Was that addressed to her or Kahled? Her potential hook-up straightened up, forgetting about her presence altogether. 

“C’mon dude,”  Kahled scowled, “there was more to his decision to send Narses to Italy.”

“Right, because Belisarius had been doing so bad up until that point.”

“You’re completely dismissing the political factors. The Ostrogoths were there.”  Kahled slammed a fist in his palm. “Building empires is more than just winning wars.”

What the fuck were they talking about? She was only half sure they were still speaking in English. She did notice, however, that while their heated back and forth was happening, Tiberias was getting closer to her, stealthy as a cat. 

“If only he’d built anything at all.” Mare could hear the mockery in his tone. “It was Caesar Augustus the one who truly built an empire.”

“Wait a minute.”  Kahled seemed to notice something. “Do we know each other?”

“Irrelevant. But I’ll give you something to think about.” His corded arm brushed hers when he took a step forward, his imposing figure making  Kahled involuntarily take a step back. “Justinian’s downfall was his tendency to pick every battle, thus losing focus on what was important.” Suddenly, his arm was firmly wrapped around her waist and he all but hauled her away from a  flabbergasted Kahled in long strides.

Her heart fluttered like a bird whose cage had been— She was supposed to be mad at him.

She planted her soles on the floor and  whirled around  to shove him off  of  her.

“ I thought I was clear in my last text,” she gritted out.

“Crystal clear. I did not say  _ Hi,  _ and if your friends look this way, they aren’t going to see  _ me _ , just a random person in a mask. I could be anyone.” 

The tone of his voice was infuriatingly pragmatic, he knew he was right. If she wasn’t so pissed off at getting bested at her own game, she would laud his strategy, even kiss him for being a huge nerd. But she was pissed. Very much so.

“Stop talking ,” she hissed  raising a finger and quickly assessed their surroundings.  Too many witnesses. 

Inside a narrow, dark hallway she saw the  sign that pointed to the restrooms.  Mare started in  that direction certain that he would follow.

She  entered the  _ Staff _ _ only _ restroom and slammed the door shut after Tiberias.

“What the fuck?!”

He removed the creepy mask  (Thank god)  and set it over the counter, running  an ivory hand through inky black hair , working his jaw , looking every bit the imposing emperor . 

“You’re mad at me ,” he  stated finally. 

“No shit, captain obvious.” She rolled her eyes and backed away as far as the two-stall restroom would allow. The red light and fluorescent graffiti all over the walls and doors created an uncanny, charged atmosphere that set her on edge. Or maybe it was just being pinned in place by Cal’s blazing eyes. “How  _ dare _ you interrupt like that?”

“No, I don’t—” he shut his eyes, trying to find the words. “I mean before tonight. You’re mad at me for what happened last Friday.”

Sonya and him passionately exchanging saliva, and Eli’s beat-up face flashed in her mind with excruciating clarity.

“So, I have something to be mad about. How interesting,” she commented nonchalantly.

“That’s the thing! I didn’t do anything.” The rasp in his voice made him sound so vulnerable, she almost believed him. And that broke the calm she’d been trying to keep. 

“Good for you. Such an innocent Saint,” she purred pressing a palm over her heart. Tiberias started to sense the incoming strike, his features turning cautious. “You turned out to be everything I suspected you were: an  _ entitled sexist shit _ .” She wished to stab him with every word that left her mouth, even if he was entirely made out of cold marble.

“I did not kiss her!”

_ He did not just use that defense. Ohhh she was going to kill him _ .

“I’m not talking about your new  _ girlfriend _ - I saw the pictures by the way so don’t  treat me like an idiot - I’m talking about you attacking Eli!” The words toppled one over the other in her haste to get them out like  bile. 

The desperation in his eyes dimmed into a wounded somber expression that sent shivers down her back. His nostrils flared and he set a hard fist over the counter, taking a step closer to her.

“Of course, he told you.” He mumbled, running a hand over his face, muffling the last part. “Whatever he may have told you, I can assure you he got off easy.”

Mare’s blood boiled and flushed her face, already twisted in indignation. Behold Tiberias the A-fucking-mazing  preaching of the mercy he granted to undeserving folks.

“Nobody informed me no man was allowed to mention my name in front of  _ you _ .” She rushed forward and got on her tiptoes to snarl in his face. “You possessive ass!”

“Exactly, nobody is allowed.” He murmured darkly and had the nerve to remain impervious to her anger. “Not like he did. The things he said about you were inexcusable.” 

Ok, Eli badmouthed her a little. So what? All exes did that... although, if he ever did it to her face, she would castrate him after spitting him in the eye.

“I’ll be the judge of who is allowed to say what about me.” Her voice and anger wavered. If what had led Cal to punch her ex had come from a feeling of protection, she couldn’t help but understand him. Even if she did hate it. “I don’t need you to defend my honor.”

Cal sensed the change in her mood as she hugged her ribs and her eyes dropped to the floor. He pinched her chin and tilted her face back up, his eyes clouded by something akin to pain.

“I wasn’t defending you. I respect you enough to know that you don’t need it, but I couldn’t bear-” he closed the space between them, caging her against the counter, “-to hear him twist what we have into something vile. What you think or say is all I care about.”

An unfamiliar ache took hold of her heart, so deep and acute she felt the need to rub the spot. They both released a sigh at the same time and Mare gripped the edge of the counter at her back to steady herself. Whatever this sensation was, it was treacherous. And Tiberias needed to be put back into place.

_ You made me say ‘only you’.  _ She bitterly remembered the night they played the ‘one bite one question’ game, and then the image that was already seared behind her eyelids: his  _ epic _ kiss with  _ another _ . 

“I don’t believe that for a second .” It came out way shakier than intended. Her bitterness poisoned her and burned her throat. “ You mark me, you dig me up for secrets, you make me say your name like you’re trying to own me from the inside out, and then go and publicly kiss your match made in heaven.” She spat the last words and damn it felt good. Only one thing would feel even better.

Sinking her nails in his biceps, Mare pulled her walking torture down until their mouths collided, teeth crashing, then biting, tongue claiming in a messy punishment that filled her body with hot electricity.

Cupping her face, Cal pleaded hoarsely against her lips. “You have to believe  me, I don’t care about Sonya.” At the mention of that name, she bit his lip hard enough to draw blood and a deep moan out of him. The goddess of revenge inside her sang with satisfaction. “I pushed her away and I _ did not _ kiss her back.  _ Please, Mare _ .”

_ Yes, beg. _ Hearing him brokenly beg as he kissed her back as if he was fighting her fire with fire felt like sufficient retribution. But she was having too much fun to stop so soon.

She pulled  mercilessly at his soft hair as she nibbled the sharp line of his jaw until she reached his ear, and drawled. “You two looked friendly earlier.”

His rough hands fell from her shoulders to her waist and he drew back a few inches to pierce her last remaining resistance with a red-gold look of unwavering obstinacy.

“I don’t care about any other woman,” he declared firmly. “You leave no room in my mind for anybody else.” 

_ That... that was exactly what she felt _ . She had no time to question any connotations because Cal kissed her like a man possessed, his lips laying claim to hers, wiping her mind blank.

His hands were all over her. Her back, her arms, her ass, as if he couldn’t decide where to linger. She arched into him, growing unbearably hot under her skin. 

“Cal,” she gasped against his mouth and he smirked.

“See? You have nothing to be jealous of.”

_ Jealous? Woah, hold your horses, buddy. Jealous?!  _ They weren’t in the type of relationship where that feeling could be a factor. He did not belong to her and neither did she belong to him. No, no, nope. They’d had a disagreement and it was all good now, but he was making wild assumptions.

Mare cleared her throat and pressed a palm to his chest.

“ I don’t care about your mind ,”  _ as long as he was thinking only of her, as he _ __ _ said _ , “just  your body. So , for as long as our  _ ‘ _ _ Lessons’  _ last -” she drew the air quotes “-You’re only with me. Is that clear?”

Cal’s nose scrunched up in a mixture of confusion and amusement that had no right looking that cute on anybody.

“Same goes for you.”  He gripped her hips and lifted her onto the counter and she wrapped her legs around him like a vice. “No swimmers, or boxers, and especially not my fucking classmates.”

_ Why was it so hot to hear him curse? _ She concealed a shiver that pebbled her nipples with a feigned laugh. 

“Aw, what about Kahled? he seemed so nice.” She twirled a lock of his black hair around her finger. The amusement vanished from his face and his eyes darkened. “It’s only fair, so we can be even in the kissing other people department.”

He held her tighter against his body and Mare bit down a moan. She could feel his thick hard-on pressed to her core, separated by annoying layers of cloth.

“Absolutely not,” he enunciated authoritatively looming over her. She had to crane her neck and lean back on the counter a little to keep looking at him. Her core pulsed and Cal rolled his hips against her as he threw her further back over the counter, the wires of her wings painfully digging into her back, as he abused the skin of her neck with his teeth. Whatever this was, she needed more of it.

“I’ll be good about it and let you watch,” she taunted him between pants, relishing on the waves of desire that climbed her body every time he ground his hips harder against her.

“The only thing I’ll be watching is you screaming for more while I’m eating you out.”

_ Good Lord. _ She soaked through her lacy panties.  _ Did he really say that? _

He seemed surprised too, stopping his groping and neck-kissing to take a peek at her face to see her reaction.

“Just so we are on the same page.”  _ Rip the band-aid so it will hurt less _ . She had to say the words and protect whatever was left of her and give him an easy way out. _ Always have a way out _ . “You’re using me and I’m using you. That’s all.”

His eyes were unreadable as he slowly  trailed them over every inch of her face, putting her apart and back together like a kid with a toy car for reasons she couldn’t fathom. He did it often, now that she thought about it. This time, though, she could feel his fingers  finding a fissure and  sinking into her heart, and did not like it in the slightest.

“We better get going then, because I intend to be thoroughly used tonight.”

_ Well, well, well. _ __ _ Mark her down as a slut because she was ready to get mounted in a club restroom with no regrets _ . 

Luckily, Cal was still (sort of) a sensible man. He helped her down the counter and they headed for the door.

She grabbed his mask for him and gave it back, which he put on with a resigned expression.

It was probably her being paranoid, but she could’ve sworn, when they left the restroom, a girl from her Technical Drawing class did a double-take at them and somehow recognized Cal. No, that was impossible. 

Cal walked right behind her, hands on her waist, two seconds away from lifting her and making a run for it. They were pushing through the sweaty dancers in the middle of the dance floor when an announcement interrupted the chaos, forcing them to turn toward the spotlight.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and other distinguished guests, it’s that moment of the night.” Shade’s voice resonated as the music lowered volume. He was in the DJ’s booth, looking at the crowd below. “The two pictures with the most likes will be crowned king and queen! And you know what happens with royalty this time of the year!” he made a slicing his throat gesture with his finger.

The crowd cheered , raising their glasses and bottles. Mare looked at Cal out of the corner of her eye, his mask pointing directly at the cushion with the shiny plastic crowns.  Her smile started to fade and her skin to cool off.

While he may have not willingly kissed a cheerleader, he was still mighty Cal Calore. And she was still just Mare, no matter how much he said he thought about her lately. The former was written in stone; she was temporary. 

Why did he care so much about all these stupid rituals? 

“With over three thousand likes, our king is none other than Cal Calore!”  An eruption of cheers drilled her eardrums. “Or should I say, Emperor Caesar? Come get your crown!”

_ Of course _ . There went her plans for the night.

~🎭~🎭~

The  clamors were deafening as he anonymously stood in the crowd. All for him . Adoration and expectations came hand in hand. 

“Do you want to go?” Mare asked with a straight face. 

Naturally, he wanted to, but he’d just managed to defuse the Mare-leaving-with-FUCKING-Justinian situation and he feared his next step would make her pull an Ides of March on him and stab him 23 times.

A month ago, he would’ve gone without hesitation, and now he was trying to not lose it completely like an unhinged maniac. Jealousy and possessiveness weren’t in his system, they never had been. And yet, he’d wanted — _ hungered _ to pin her to the nearest wall and kiss her until she forgot any other man in Norta existed. 

Still, he had restraint and as someone (probably his uncle Julian) had once told him _ ‘you’re allowed to feel everything, but how you act on those feelings is what matters’ _ . 

He looked from the crown to Mare and made a decision. Leaving with her right now would be acting on basic instincts when the rational, sensible would be to get the silly prize, which would only take a few minutes, and then leave. If that compromise wasn’t the right answer, he didn’t know what was.

“Can you wait by the door?” he finally said, leaning closer so she could hear him.

Mare heaved a tired sigh and something ominously close to disappointment hardened her big brown eyes. Cal started to doubt his strategy.

“Do whatever you want, Cal. I’m not waiting for you.” 

A chill settled in his gut.

“Calore, come get your prize!” Shade insisted waving the crown in the air. “Has anybody seen him?”

The people started chanting his name. It hammered against his head with the might of 21 years of duty to keep an image versus the woman standing right in front of him. 

_ Be rational. Use your head, not your heart _ . To all these people, he was a symbol of greatness. To Mare, he was something to use. His feelings didn’t matter.

“It will only take a minute, I promise.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly and scurried away, back to the VIP area where Ptolemus had switched costumes with him, feeling his heart  was ripped out of his chest the further away he got.

Ptolemus was making out with a Marilyn Monroe at the same booth he’d left him earlier. Cal closed the velvet curtain and ignored the awkward sounds as he dropped the Melpomene mask and retrieved his Cuirass , cape, and laurel wreath. It’s not like his friend hadn't endured worse sounds coming from his room.

In record time, he made it to the improvised stage and the cheers exploded. He gifted the crowd his winning smile, all white teeth shining under the spotlight aimed at him while Shade said something he didn’t catch and placed the plastic crown over his head. 

Then, the weirdest thing happened, as if his consciousness had  detached from his body and he was observing himself from a stranger’s point of view.

What was the point of this? Where the answer should have been, he found a newly vacated, empty spot. Just like the spot on the dancefloor where Mare had been a minute ago. A hollowness that had always been there and only now he could recognize, after being around someone that fit there and overwhelmed his entire existence in the most perfect way.

Somewhere far in the universe, Evangeline’s name was called as queen. But he wasn’t there. He was trying to grasp the name of a feeling.

The hollow feeling in his ribcage was a product of this attempt of being... what? The perfect son? A campus celebrity? A vessel for a legacy.

His head cleared after weeks (years) of overcast and Cal saw everything as it was. Sun shining through the clouds, chirping birds, and clear blue skies.

His seemingly futile passions were important not despite, but _ because _ they stirred emotions in him. Unprofitable endeavors  _ mattered _ , like studying dead people and battles that had ended hundreds of years ago, like loving a girl that absolutely didn’t love him back and maybe never would...

_ Love _ .

His soul returned to his body like a released rubber band and he blinked several times. 

_ He loved Mare. _

Oh shoot, he needed to get off the stage immediately.

~🎭~🎭~

_ Alexa, play _ _ All by Myself by Celine Dion.  _

Mare huffed and kicked gravel off the path that cut through the square right across the street from the club. She was going to take a bus (no way she was spending money on an Uber) back to campus all dressed up and sexually frustrated. Even the girl in charge of the coat check had given her a pitiful look as she handed her over her waist bag as if she could see the red ‘Failure’ stamp on her forehead.  _ All this preparation, to the trash. _

Yes, she could’ve waited. But she’d wanted Cal to choose her instead of this persona as plastic and generic and boring as the stupid crown Shade- the least expected traitor -had offered. Silly thoughts, honestly. 

Her saving grace had been not letting Cal play her for a fool yet again by making it clear he held no piece of her. The universe had proven that last protective measure to be accurate with surprising speed. She would never voice the underlying feelings, much less act on them. She preferred to be petty, and if someone had complaints, they could shove them up their—

The steps on the gravel behind her indicated her someone was rapidly approaching . She whipped around, keys between her fingers and fist ready to blind the motherfucker permanently.

Cal skid to a halt with his palms raised , plastic crown  falling over his brow . He adjusted it back in place. “I told you it would only take a minute,” he said all chipper and breathless.

She folded her arms and quirked a brow at the crown.

“That thing is ridiculous.”

“It is,” he laughed and took it off, only to place it on her head with a disarming crooked smile.

Oh God, how she hated his inconveniently pretty face and the way her heart started malfunctioning as soon as he showed up.

“Are we still up for-?”

“No,” she cut him off.

He nodded as if he’d been expecting that. “I’ll take you back to your dorm then.”

“I can get there myself,” she scoffed.

“Yes, but I will feel better if I make sure you got there safely.”

Whatever. She was too tired and annoyed to argue with him so she flipped him off and resumed her way to the bus stop. Also, she wasn’t stupid enough to willingly walk alone in the city at night, wearing  nothing but  glorified lingerie.

Speaking of glorified lingerie, the nearly empty bus windows were open and the nice spring breeze that had cooled her temper and sweat soon started raising gooseflesh along her exposed skin and forcing her to clench her jaw so her teeth wouldn’t chatter.

Cal and she were at the back of the bus, where she’d sat in the row across from his, refusing to sit  with him. He seemed perfectly content with just traveling near her and making sure she didn’t get kidnapped. _ Asshole. _

Mare tore up another feather from the wings of her costume , now  laying folded up over her lap, a desperate attempt to cover up some skin as she stared out the window, into the city lights blurring past in  a comforting orange blur.

Without warning, Cal walked over to her, unclasped his red cape, and offered it silently. 

She glared at him. “Thanks,” she muttered and threw it over her shoulders. The lingering heat from his body and his smell invaded her in a single relieved breath. 

“You’re welcome,” he said in a velvety voice and returned to his seat.

_ No, please, no _ . She could feel the awful, hot, need to be with him slowly taking over her from head to toes.

At the next stop, a group of loud high school girls got on the bus in coordinated outfits from a Netflix show she’d only watched the terrible pilot of and couldn’t imagine being popular. Damn, she was getting old. 

As soon as they spotted Cal, 5 out of 6 started gawking at him and giggling like idiots. The sixth glanced at him, then at her friends, and rolled her eyes. _ Thank you, space cadet stranger! That  _ was the proper reaction. Where were these girls’ parents? They were way past their curfews. 

Someone should teach them it was wrong for them to be drooling over a guy that could be their  daddy… ok, wow terrible way to phrase that.  Someone should teach them it was fucked up to be objectifying an innocent  virgin. There , much better. 

Mare had no moral backbone and no patience for pesky little brats taking pictures of  _ her _ innocent virgin. She got up and marched over to the free seat next to his, by the window. In the least practical and sexiest way possible, she momentarily straddled his lap to reach the seat, and then hooked a leg over his knee. Grabbing his chest plate thingy by the collar, she pulled him down into a PG-13 kiss. 

It did the trick. When she pulled away  the girls were minding their own business. 

Cal  wasn’t paying them any attention either (he hadn’t been in the first place). He was lost  in his thoughts, gazing at her with fascination like she had grown real wings . 

Downside of her move? Now her body was nearly vibrating with expectation, clamoring to get fulfilled.

“ I changed my mind,” she  blurted out. “Your place?”

~ 🎭~

They didn’t manage to keep their hands off each other during the bus ride, although they did manage to keep it toned down. An effort that didn’t last past the door of Hitze Manor. 

They stumbled  blindly in the foyer until Cal found the light switch on the wall. 

Things were in a weird place tonight, and she didn’t want to muddle them further. With that in mind, she  broke apart from his swollen lips to  make a request. 

“Let’s go to the playroom.” Anything but his bedroom. She didn’t trust herself to leave  it,  and  sleeping (actually sleeping) with him was not an option. 

If he found it odd, he didn’t say it.  Instead , he pushed her in the right direction, wrapping his arms around her midsection and  sucking on her neck in a way that would probably  leave marks.  She  sort of wished  he did. 

Cal opened the heavy door ; a pair of guys were in the far corner,  smo king cigars . 

“Leave,” he commanded and her insides sputtered sparks.

The guys didn’t even question him . They followed his  order quickly , putting out the cigars in an ashtray before shutting the door behind them and Cal locked it with a key. 

The wooden paneled room with expensive leather furniture could be considered beautiful, but Mare didn’t get much time to admire it. Cal led her to the nearest sofa and she plopped down on it, throwing her costume’s props and waist bag on a coffee table. She fumbled with the knot of the cape over her shoulders, and once she undid it, she let it sensually drop.

The metal chest plate unceremoniously clanked against the wooden floor and then Cal was on her, capturing her mouth with ferocity, one knee on the couch between her legs and a hand roughly gripping the back of her head.

She felt like she was drowning in him, in his heat and his desire. These had to be withdrawal symptoms, there were no other explanations for the desperate way they held on to each other as they made out like they were running out of time.

Cal trailed his wonderful mouth down her throat, over her collarbone and when he reached the low dip of the V neck of her dress, instead of going for her nipples like he was so fond of, he continued down and down. A surprised gasp left her when he knelt on the floor, forcefully dragged her hips to the edge of the sofa, and hooked her knees over his broad shoulders. Her stomach took a dive down a 20 feet trampoline. Locking gazes with his feral, lustful eyes dissolved her into a puddle of heat. 

“ Did you read instructions this time around ?” She propped herself up on her elbows, not wanting to miss a  photogram of the glorious sight. 

Cal  smirked  sheepishly as he  pulled the hem of her dress up, exposing everything below her navel. 

“I did. ” He got very  solemn then. “ Are you still up for the lesson?”

Mare nodded, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth, she resisted the urge to caress his face tenderly. “Same as the other day, I’ll veer you in the right direction.”

“Thanks,”  he smiled again, and then he focused on  her most vulnerable part , shielded from view  by her  damp  underwear ,  all determination, and  eagerness. 

His pink mouth hovered over the inner flesh of her thigh, his breath caressed her skin and made her core react in anticipation. He started a slow ascension of warm, open-mouthed kisses that made her squirm impatiently. 

When his mouth finally, _ finally  _ made it to her center he pressed a firm chaste kiss there as if he was supposed to say Hi to it and she wanted to burst out laughing. But then he stuck a thumb under her panties to move it aside and with one long stroke of his tongue proved to her he damn well knew how to follow instructions. Her body stiffened with a jolt of electricity, then another, and another as Cal’s ruinous strokes built up enough tension in her to light up the entirety of Archeon’s metropolitan area. 

Her moans and  sighs should have been indication enough of how she was doing, still, he wanted more. 

“Mare, sweetheart ,”  he took the chance to take off her  panties as she melted at the hoarseness of his voice. “ I need you to tell me if you like it.”

“You’re perfect,” she whimpered as he dove in again, going for her clit and focusing his efforts there. “Fucking perfect.” She threaded her fingers through his hair.

It was official. Cal Calore  had sold his soul  to a sex god to become one himself or to get  inhuman eating out  abilities .  Mare was leaning more toward option number one.

He buried his face in her and with one hand splayed over her tight abdomen and the other digging fingers in her hip, he read her body and, when she felt like he needed it, pulled his hair to give him hints of where she wanted him. But he barely needed any help, truth be told.

Mare cried out his name and how good he was until the words became intelligible, then into whimpers when the tension became too much. Toes curling, one hand fisting the cape, body quivering like ripples in the water, her orgasm tore through her.

She was ready to shake his hand congratulations and give Cal his oral diploma but she realized he wasn’t  stopping.  His eyes met hers and the  hunger there had one clear message.  _ “I’m not done yet.” _

He kept going, easily sliding two fingers inside of her and fucking her up in every sense of the word. She was making a mess on his face, his cape, maybe even the couch as she became a mindless, pleading, whiny stranger.

_ “Cal, please,” _ she mumbled incoherently  gripping his hair  so she wouldn’t fall off the earth. And if she was capable of raising her head and prying her eyes open, she could  bet Cal was drinking in her every reaction.

She came  undone for the second time in his mouth  and Cal  slowed down, to stop altogether after her aftershocks .

This was going to be… problematic in the near future when this arrangement was done. If she got used to this level of fervor from her sexual partners when it was becoming more and more clear Cal was so thorough in everything he did. Oh, but she couldn’t worry about it at the moment, as she shielded her eyes from the light, lying breathless and satiated beyond her expectations.

Cal rearranged her  dress back in place and  left her there to return a minute later with  paper towels, most likely from the minibar at the back of the  room where she’d stolen the bourbon weeks ago.  He  sat down  next to her and pulled her legs  across his lap and she felt him brush the inner part of her thigh. Mare sat upright and  grabbed his wrist.

“Give me the towels, I can do it myself.” She was blushing. He’d just been neck-deep in her and she was _ blushing. _

“Let me,” he insisted. Now that she wasn’t lost in a haze of ecstasy, she could appreciate his flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, two seconds away from having a pink halo around him like an anime character. “I did this, it’s only fair I clean it up.”

There it was.  The smugness put a roguish glint in his eye.  Mare let go of his wrist and he softly cleaned her up . Something strange kept happening to her heart, too big to contain . 

“So…” his smile turned downright sinful, accentuated by the look of his crazy hair, sticking out in every direction. “Did I pass?”

Mare punched his arm.  “You show off, ” she glowered at him , begging her pulse to quiet down . “You  already heard  how well you did. Don’t get cocky. ”

“ Positive reinforcement, sweetheart. ” He pinched her cheek with the hand that wasn’t  under her dress .

“How’s this-?” She leaned forward and  palmed his groin. “-for  positive reinforcement?”

He worked his  jaw and fought back a laugh. “ Nothing is ever easy with you, is it?”

“No.”  She chirped,  massaging him over the clothes. “Which is why  we’ll have sex after you win the finals.”

He looked desolate for an instant but then he smirked and let a finger from the hand that had been chastely cleaning her thighs skim her sensitized center and she tensed up at the bolt of desire that shot through her.

“Fine by me,  I’m looking forward to getting my head crushed by your pretty thighs in the meantime .”

Mare snorted like a piggy, a most unsexy sound, and moved to straddle his muscled thigh and lock her arms behind his neck. How she loved it when he said cheesy stuff like that. Usually, she would find that cringe-worthy, but with him being so endearingly clueless it was just right.

“ The next game is this Friday? ” She casually asked pressing her  lips to his and tasting a  hint of herself. Fuck, he’d done such a good  job with her. 

“No football on Abdication week.” He sighed and removed his hand from under her dress. “We play next week, on Friday.” 

That  was 9 days from tonight.  And she had to be an incredibly selfish woman because she was relieved this  bought her more time with him . 

Then she  realized  with a wave of nausea  what other major event took place that same day. 

“ That’s the date of my project presentation ,” she muttered . 

Cal  held her shoulders comfortingly and  spoke with all the confidence  in the universe. “Then we’ll both be celebrating something .”

She took a deep breath  and looked at him closely. There was something different about him tonight . His normally stoic face with deeply hidden  sources of stress seemed to  have vanished from him. As much as she wanted to think her pussy was mag ical, he’d been like this  since they  had  left the party.  All calm and laid back as if he’d taken a drag out of an excellent  joint. 

“ You’re  different tonight. What’s gotten into you?”

The wells of  liquid gold of his eyes  warmed at the question and  he ran his palms along her back, then tucked a  lock of her brown hair behind her ear . 

“I’ve reached some long-overdue epiphanies. Like what I want out of life and all that.”

“Oh,” she said simply. Not daring to push for more, for his expression looked  dangerously earnest.

The more he looked at her like that, the more painful the ache in her heart got. Mare cleared her throat.  _ Would you look at the time! Time to lighten the mood.  _

“I’m trading you my panties in exchange for payment of my Uber ride.”

“Really?!” he perked up and then seemed to remember he had to do the most honorable thing 24/7. “I mean, you don’t have to give me anything, of course, I’ll pay for your Uber anyway.”

“No handouts.” She cut him off, and twisting back to reach for her waist bag, she pulled a scrunchie from it and started tying up her hair in a high ponytail. She climbed down from his lap with a sultry smirk and kneeled between his legs. “And that’s enough talking for tonight.”

“So bossy,” Cal chuckled, the corners of his eyes wrinkling in a fond expression.

She had no witty one-liners to reply to that. The part of her brain that was normally used for such feats was flooded in glittery, warm honey that suddenly made it very hard to think. Or to read if it wasn’t the lines of his plush lips speaking. Or to breathe when it wasn’t his woodsy scent.

In other words, she was being stupid. 

_ 'The day you truly fall in love, you’ll turn stupid’ _ .

Fuck.

Talk about inconvenient. 

Luckily, they didn’t talk about anything else that night. They spent their time entertaining other, less dreadful needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inhales deeply* IT'S A LOVE STORY, BABY JUST SAY YES


	12. Don't dance around your feelings (suffer the consequences)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took so long I moved to a different city, my classes are starting again, and Meghan Markle is having a baby girl 🥺  
> but enough of that, here's the chapter!

There was a peaceful comfort in the acceptance of being in love, despite the tragedy of it being one-sided. 

Cal had come to terms with this several times over the past couple of days. Every stolen minute with Mare in between classes, at the library, and in the narrow alleys between buildings, his conviction had been renewed. Basking in her careless laughs, the image of her lips swollen from all the kissing, her eyes sparkling with delight. All that mattered was that she wanted to use him, all that mattered was that she wanted him.  _ Say the word and I will burn for ten days _ .

Burning would have to wait though, for there were these pesky things called obligations.

The conversation with his father on the car ride to the HBU Gala was pleasant enough. Investments and meddling politicians were the main topics of discussion. The kind of small talk Cal was used to, even if he did terribly miss the old camaraderie he used to share with his father from when he was younger.

The chauffeur opened the door for him and Cal brushed microscopic flecks of dust from the cuffs of his navy-blue  Italian tuxedo, then exited from the vehicle.

Ocean Hill Hotel was exceptionally illuminated  with thousands of red and white lights in honor of Abdication day, and the weathered limestone path leading up to what had once been a palace was flanked by poles with flags flapping in the wind. 

Tiberias VI, Tibe for those closest to him, fell silent. The ex-palace used to be Cal’s mother's favorite hotel, or so uncle Julian said. His father never spoke of her. Still, one thing was certain; that despite all of his flaws, he had not married her for any of the reasons he preached made a suitable wife for Calore men. No. Tibe had married a girl from a disgraced family out of love. 

Cal intended to follow that example. 

One day, he too would marry someone he loved.

At the end of the path, haloed by the golden light pouring from the main double doors, was the very girl he's been thinking about, decidedly not wearing the mismatched (and sexy, in a weird way) outfit from the picture she’d sent him earlier. Instead, she wore a long silvery purple silk dress, silver stilettos, and the brown waves of her hair cascaded down her shoulders and back, pinned away from her face with bobby pins. Aphrodite on earth. 

And she was  animatedly talking to... his uncle? She was. 

As he got closer to them, he caught bits of their conversation.

“Spoiler alert, I’m only here for the ribbon,” she joked easily at Julian.

“How wonderful,” his uncle replied. “Not that they forced you to be here- something I regretfully can relate to –but the award you’ll be receiving. I’m proud to say I was right about you, miss Barrow.”

“Julian! Who managed to drag you out of your cave of books?”

“Tibe,” Julian eyed behind them warily and Cal felt his stomach clench uncomfortably. He was looking for Elara. Where his stepmother was concerned, Julian wasn’t a fan. Seeing she wasn’t  here, he smiled and shook their hands. “Sara kicked me out and threw this old thing at me,” he joked, pointing at his unfashionable brown tux. 

“She fears I might get fired if I don’t show up to at least one of these.” He chuckled and decided it was an appropriate time to make introductions. “Let me introduce you to one of the most brilliant students at Harbor Bay: miss Mare Barrow.” 

His father politely bowed his head in Mare’s direction and Cal finally allowed himself to look at her face unabashedly. 

Being struck in the lungs by an arrow would be less breathtaking than her casual beauty being accentuated by makeup that sharpened her features and darkened her gaze the colors of autumn. Her glossy lips were doing things to his body. Just a few hours ago those same lips had been glossy with his cu—  _ fuck, abort that line of thought. _

“And this”— Julian was looking at him strangely, pinched brows and a confused smile  — “ is my nephew, Cal. He isn’t usually this shy.”

_ Oh crap, he hadn’t even said hello! _ He was gawking. Cal regained his composure at light speed and smiled at her like the perfect gentleman he’d been trained to be.

“Very nice to meet you, Mare.”

“Likewise,” she said barely concealing her amusement at his mental lapse.

“Here’s an idea,” Julian commented, clasping his hands behind his back and  addressing Mare. “Since there’s going to be an empty seat at our table, why don’t you sit with us?”

Wide eyes and taking an involuntary step back, she hesitated, clearly looking for the best way to decline without seeming rude.

“Please join us, miss Barrow,” His father added begrudgingly and he started to walk, meaning for the rest to follow. “It’s not often Julian finds a kindred spirit in events such as these. You are part of the scholarship program, yes?” And just like that, he had made the decision for her, as they all went into the hotel together. 

Men like his father didn’t know the meaning of a negative and it showed in the sudden rigidness of Mare’s posture, that she didn’t like it one bit. And she probably didn’t appreciate the unsubtle reminder of where she stood in tonight’s social hierarchy either.

“Yes, sir,” she bit out.

“This will be a great opportunity for you, then,” Tibe said dryly and grabbed a drink from the tray of the first waiter that approached them. “Many important donors will be at our table tonight. Consider it an opportunity to bat your eyelashes and get new easels for your art courses.” 

_ Dad noo _ . Cal swallowed and dared a glance in Mare’s direction.

“I’m an engineering major,” she clarified calmly, but Cal could see the vein in her neck popping.

They made it to the ballroom archway and his father gave Mare an unimpressed appraisal for the second time. “You are? Hmm.” He took a long swig of his champagne and redirected his attention to the front. “Volo! I thought you were in Korea for the weekend...” 

He then left them behind to go to his friend. 

Cal was almost afraid to talk to Mare after that. “You’ll excuse my father; he is a busy man.”

She slowly turned her head in his direction, her glare dripping contempt. It conveyed a clear message: _ someone was going to die _ .

~💃~💃~

The ballroom exuded an air of magnificence that had once belonged to those with the right blood, the monarchy, and in the  present, it belonged to those with the right number of zeros in their bank accounts. The light blue and cream color scheme with gold ornamentation, along with the cerulean vaulted ceilings adorned with dozens of glass chandeliers made it look like part of a kingdom under the sea. This feeling was capitalized on with the arched windows overlooking the bay.

Round tables were arranged in order of importance, with the ones that were meant for students that would receive awards tonight and faculty members at the back, and the ones for rich assholes at the front, near the round stage. 

And there was no one richer and more of an asshole than Cal’s dad, so their table was at the front and center.

How. HOW on earth  were they related? Her soft, funny (sometimes annoying), understanding, incredibly hot boy-toy, and that grumpy, entitled, classist drunkard were  _ father and son _ . So many adjectives and they still didn’t cover half of the differences between them. Physically, she could see the resemblance. In terms of character, she was willing to bet Cal got his kindness from his mother’s side.

That seemed more likely.

Professor Julian  Jacos was Cal’s uncle and the  _ very _ man that had shown her compassion when she was 15 after she had broken into his house, shattered his china, and bled all over his Persian rug.

She’d had a moment of bone-chilling panic when she first spotted the man whose  name she’d never bothered to ask 4 years ago until he recognized her and broke into a bright, friendly smile as calm as a pond. He’d even remembered her name.

_“Do you have a family?” he’d conversationally asked after she was done explaining how she’d bypassed their security system. The man sat down on the leather sofa facing hers, as his lovely wife disinfected her cuts._

_“I do,” she was still convicted they were going to call the police, so, she tried to appeal to their pity. “They are the reason I broke into your house. I swear I’m not stealing to buy drugs or anything shady like that.”_

_“You’re doing this to help put bread on the table,” Julian guessed without a hint of judgment in his mild voice._

_“If we have enough money, my brothers don’t have to take more enlistment contracts than necessary, my sister can stay in school, my father can buy his medication,” she explained in a rush. “I’m just trying to keep them safe.”_

_“You think money will keep your family together?” Julian inquired not unkindly._

_She’d scoffed at that. “Obviously. Whoever says money isn’t the answer, is probably rich and never had to do without it... sir,” she added after reminding herself she was still at risk of getting sent to juvie._

_“Ok, then let me tell you of a plan.” Julian got to his feet and walked behind his mahogany desk, opened one of the drawers, and retrieved something from it. “You don’t have to decide tonight. In fact, you’ll have years to decide whether you like it or not. But the sooner you make up your mind, the easier it will be.”_

_“What would be easier?” Mare asked, mistrustful as she eyed the exits._

_Julian placed a pamphlet on the table, next to his wife’s first aid kit and Mare’s arm being stitched up. It read: You TOO can be part of Norta’s future. Learn all about financial aid and scholarship programs from Harbor Bay University._

_“Harbor Bay?” she choked out a disbelieving laugh and then saw his straight face. The man was serious._

_“Yes, miss Barrow. Use your brilliance for a long-term goal. Study, save your family.”_

_ Study, save your family.  _

It might as well have been a cheesy slogan in a campaign to keep kids from dropping out of school. And yet, it had stayed with her for hours after Julian and his wife ( Sara , she’d just learned her name tonight) let her go with a pamphlet in her hand and money for a cab so she wouldn’t have to walk back home. It had echoed inside her mind the rest of that summer until it became a dream, and the dream, a plan. And in the present time, it was her mantra whenever things got hard.

Julian had turned into a sort of a mythical elder creature in her mind. And now he was sitting in front of her, at a table filled with Norta’s richest people, wearing an ugly brown suit and casually chatting with  _ his nephew _ . 

Oh, and he was very unsubtly trying to set them up. Small world.

“Cal has other talents besides kicking pigskins, of course. He’s a wonderful mechanic.” Julian told her. “He built his first bike when he was 8 years old.”

Mare twisted her neck to look at Cal, sitting next to her, and feigned an impressed gasp. “How did that go?”

“Let’s just say it was a bad idea to test it on a hill,” he replied tugging down on his collar and angling his head to show her a tiny scar at the base of his neck and the scent of his cologne reached her nose. “And I have a few others to match.” Cal made a vague gesture to his body.

On a scale of one to ten how socially unacceptable would it be to crawl onto his lap and tear his stupid tuxedo to shreds to lick that scar and all of the others?  _ Hmm, a strong 8 _ . Cal’s father gave her the third annoyed glance since the dinner had started.  _ Ok, maybe it was more of a 9 _ . _ 5 _ .

Mister Calore had been recounting to the other six people seated at their table all about the construction of a new section for the stadium he was donating to the University, and by the looks of it, he was done letting his precious son talk to his hippie uncle and her.

“I ran into Harold Weber at the Dean’s office, when I was leaving.” Mister Calore leaned back in his chair, letting the waitress fill his glass with more wine. “You were supposed to take his class this semester, why didn’t you?”

That Weber guy was a legend in Commercial Law. He always got invited to talk shows, had written several bestsellers, and Farley _ Despised  _ (capital D) his guts. That’s how Mare knew about him and why she understood the reason behind Cal suddenly going grim .

“I wanted to take it easy.”

The nonchalant tone of his voice didn’t match the tension of the fist over his thigh, hidden under the table. Mare reached down and placed her small palm on top of his knuckles in solidarity. 

Hidden in plain sight, just like their entire relationship.

“Take it easy?” his dad quirked a bushy brow and gave him a sidelong glance as he sank his knife into the piece of bloody meat on his plate. “That’s unlike you.”

Cal opened his fist and held on to her hand. If it brought him some consolation in the face of this shitty situation. Mare felt her soul lift a few feet over the floor.

“Oh, you! let the kid live a little, Tibe,” an old lady wearing enough furs to inaugurate a small zoo batted the air dismissively. “His mind was probably elsewhere.” She winked at Cal. “Any lady friends worth of mention?”

Cal’s hold of her hand tightened as a smile crept to the corners of his mouth. Mare froze. If Cal used her as a joke to alleviate the weird tension his father asking about his studies had created, she might just die. 

“Actually, yes, Mrs. Goodkind. There _ is  _ a girl.” She yanked her hand free and instead dug her nails in his leg, right above his knee. 

_ Shut up, shut up, shut up.  _

~💃~💃~

_ Why thank you,  _ _ Mrs. _ _ Goodkind _ , for giving him an excuse to talk about his favorite subject, Mare, while ignoring his least favorite subject, his lies to his father. To be precise, they weren’t lies. They felt like that though. 

“Ha! I knew it!” Tibe barked a laugh. The lines around his eyes were of mirth for once, instead of the usual stressful brooding. “It was about time. The girl you were smooching the other day on the uhm... what’s the name.” He snapped his fingers trying to recall something.

Out of the fire, into the frying pan.

Mare’s grip on his leg went slack. He appreciated the pain stopping but he sensed it wouldn’t last. 

“Instagram,” Ara Iral straightened up on her chair and granted him a pleased smile that made Cal want to crawl into a hole and bury himself alive. He’d just freaking fixed things with Mare, people! A little cooperation with the cause would be nice. “And it’s not just any girl you’re talking about. Sonya is my granddaughter.”

_ Gosh- freaking- damnit _ .

The hand over his thigh climbed higher and his face flushed like he’d walked into a sauna, while Mare’s face remained stony. She even took a sip of her wine, making use of her free hand.

“Sonya!” Mrs. Goodkind crowed. “It was about time you settled down with a proper girl. You two make the most adorable couple, simply perfect!”

He felt her nimble fingers skim his crotch and he almost jumped out of the chair, his entire body hot in less than a millisecond. 

“Do you approve of this union?” Salin Iral jokingly asked ( _ was every Iral in the country sitting on this table? _ ) but Cal’s father took the question to heart. “The older the money, the safer the bet.”

The Iral’s owned Norta’s most successful and longest-running airline. Couldn’t get older than that.

“A girl from the right family- if she doesn’t have delusions of being at the head of her family’s company -should have a ring on her finger as soon as possible. They are a rarity, Cal. These days little girls have all these radical feminist ideas.” He shuddered. _ Girls like Mare, he meant.  _ “Counterproductive to the purpose of marriage.”

_ Marriage?! To Sonya? What were these people on? _

With his eyes crying out for help in direction of his uncle, Cal started to explain. “Hold on, I’m not dating he—” Every muscle in his body went rigid as Mare palmed his rapidly growing erection and leisurely stroked him.

“Are you choking?” Mrs. Goodkind tilted her head. “Drink some water! Oh, don’t you hate it when that happens?”

Cal grabbed the glass full of water with a trembling hand and gulped it down, uselessly trying to put out the fire building in his loins. He was stuck in a tricky place between bliss, loving what she was doing, and hell because of literally everything else, particularly the company.

“Don’t get nervous, boy.” Salin waved a fork dismissively. “You’re practically part of the family. Besides, my niece won’t mind this conversation.”

Cal’s jaw was locked so tightly a muscle hitched in his cheek. Goosebumps raised all over his flesh and he grabbed Mare’s wrist, feeling her tortuous movements and her paradoxically even pulse.

“No sane girl would!” his dad boasted and the table joined him laughing in agreement. “They must be at each other's throats to see who can win you. That gives you the obligation of being selective. Isn’t that the consensus, miss Barlow?”

Mare didn’t bother correcting him and instead locked her gaze with his, stilling her hand, giving him a chance to catch his breath. She regarded him with the expectant unrest in her deep brown eyes. His heart revolted inside his chest, desperate to figure out what was he supposed to do. He feared that a single move could ruin everything.

“That your son is made of gold?” She said, her voice entrancingly cold like a siren song. “It is.” She finally tore her gaze from his and forced a smile toward his father. “He is considered quite the prize.”

A prize. A prince. Not a man with his own mind and heart. That’s what she meant by that. Whatever contentment he may have felt at having become almost fluent in Mare’s language was overshadowed by the claustrophobia of the situation. 

First giving him blue balls and then tearing down his pride. She was such a multitasker.

He did not want any of that. All he wanted was to lean down, kiss the top of her head and announce to the world with an easygoing smile. “No, it’s not Sonya or any other girl from the country club. The one who has me on a leash is Mare Barrow from The Stilts, thank you very much.” Then he would raise his glass and laugh amiably so the rest would follow. And Mare would drop her defensive stand, relaxing into him like he suspected she wanted to.

Sadly, there was also the (big) chance she would stare at him like he’d gone mad, awkwardly deny everything, and proceed to ignore him for the rest of eternity, wondering how she’d fucked up so badly in picking a rebound guy.

The rest of the table did not catch on to the secret meaning and continued their conversations right where they had left off before this cursed topic came up.

Mare endured a few more minutes of dull exchanges, including one where  Mrs. Goodkind asked if schools in Colombia had walls before she excused herself and left the table without eating dessert.

The academic achievements ribbons were handed out, as well as the awards to the most charitable donors. Tiberias VI pretended to be surprised when he was called to the stage.

When couples started swarming the dancefloor, Cal made a beeline toward Mare, who was sneakily leaving through one of the balcony doors.

“You can’t possibly think I’m letting you leave after what you pulled at dinner, do you?”

~💃~💃~

Mare whipped around guiltily to see Cal out in the balcony, bathed in moonlight, clad in midnight blue; her plan to get the fuck out through the gardens to avoid talking to more people, ruined.

“You coming?” she pointed back with her thumb, clutch purse (borrowed), and diploma (earned) in hand.

He walked up to her with his hands in his pockets, his black hair being tousled by the salty wind. 

“Do you make a habit of leaving parties early?”

She took it as a  _ no _ and refrained from pouting. He looked so delectably  _ ruinable _ , it was a true pity she wouldn’t get to do it.

“I’ve served my purpose for the night. I don’t see why should I stay any longer.”

As she spoke, Cal gently pried the items from her hands and placed them on the floor, next to the marble baluster, then held her waist and pulled her closer to his body. “Dance with me, please.”

Well shit, if he asked like that how was she supposed to say no?

Rolling her eyes, she looped her arms around his neck. “One song. I hate slow dancing.” 

Inside the ballroom, the band was playing  _ Moon River _ . In the balcony that ran along the side of Ocean hill, soft waves crashed against the rocks. Inside her, her heart pounded against her ribs as it was trying to escape and land at Cal’s feet.

She was acutely aware of his gaze on her face as she tried her hardest to look at anywhere but him while they swayed to the melancholic song.

_ Would you look at those Baroque moldings on the ledges, how pretty and unnecessary, _ she distracted herself _. _ But then, Cal started to hum the tune of the song, and a surge of affection erupted in her lungs nearly choking her with its abruptness.

“This would be the moment when you praise how good I look,” she said to break the silence and peered up at him.

“You look incredible in anything,” he whispered. “Tonight, you’re out of this world entirely. These people don’t deserve to look at you.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I’m altruism porn for middle-aged assholes.”

Cal paused, assessing the picture as if he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to laugh. Sometimes she forgot he belonged to the  _ other _ side. An explanation was needed.

“They like to hear how much I struggled to get here and how grateful I am for their generosity,” she clutched her invisible pearls. “Otherwise, I could have never gotten out the shithole I come from. And it fills their humanity quota, relieves them of guilt as they continue to exploit workers and evade taxes.” Mare finished her rant with a sardonic laugh.

“That sounds fun,” he muttered.

“ Oh don’t feel too bad for me.” She played with Cal’s perfect bowtie, tugging at the ends. “You’re porn too.”

He covered his mouth with a fist, disguising a laugh as a cough, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

“For you?” he smirked and cocked a brow. “With pleasure.”

Mare blushed so hard he could probably feel the heat emanating from her. Her instinctive reaction was to punch his arm.

“Not for me, you stupid bitch. For them!” She whispered furiously. “You’re  _ success  _ porn. You are an athlete from a legendary family, you’re smart, charming. Being close to you makes them feel young and cool.”

“You forgot to mention hot.” He murmured with a sultry voice that made Mare glare daggers at him. “But it’s ok, I know you were thinking it.”

“Unbelievable,” she huffed looking out to the bay, forcing her lips into a tight straight line, unable to hide the smile in her eyes. “This is the last time I have a serious conversation with you.”

Without a warning, Cal dipped her back securely holding her back and waist. She went stiff as a pole, lacking every bit of grace needed for this kind of ballroom dance.

“Why? Do I make you nervous?” He murmured seducingly low, his face inches above from hers.

_ YES _ .

Mare wiped the doe-eyed expression from her features and replaced it for an unimpressed one.

“No.” She gripped the lapels of his suit jacket. “You, on the other hand, are taking a hell of a long time to make your move.”

And he did. A slow, passionate kiss that belonged to the closing shot of a film from the Golden Age of Hollywood, with the both of them in glitzy costumes and the extravagant location. 

This couldn’t be her life. 

By the time Cal set her upright again, she was glad he was still holding her because she was lightheaded and dizzy, and _ good lord, this being in love thing was way over the top. _

“I’ve been all night waiting to do that.” His hoarse voice sent a bolt of want right between her legs.

He pressed their lips together once more in a final, more chaste kiss. “Are you sure you have to leave?”

Leave. Leaving.  Riiight ... yeah, she absolutely did. Before she did something stupid like asking him to take her between the bushes to mess her up a little (much).

“Yes,” she exhaled, tired. “I have to go over my presentation.”

Cal let his hands linger on her waist for as long as possible as he backed away. There was an odd, forlorn expression in his face that Mare would easily confuse for longing if she didn’t know any better. 

“See you on Friday.”

“Sure.” Mare collected her things from the floor and then back to Cal to give him a quick peck on the jaw. “Only if you win,” she whispered against his skin and left before he could think of something clever to say to make her stay. 

“Say goodbye to Julian for me, will you?” she threw over her shoulder as she descended the steps into the garden that led to the main gates. 

It took him a minute. 

“Wait! How do you know him?” 

“I told you already! Connect the dots!” 

~💃~

One of the girls with scholarships ran into Mare on the way out and they shared an Uber back to campus. 

They passed by at least 3 wild parties on the way there and had the driver drop them off at a midpoint, then they went on their separate ways.

Five blocks away from her room, she couldn’t bear her high heels, borrowed from Ada, a second longer, so she took them off. Her feet had already been killing her before her dance with Cal and she still had accepted. 

It was a little funny and a little sad, she thought as she strolled barefoot on the sidewalk, that being in love happened so out of nowhere and occupied so much headspace, and felt like so much. It was like being torn apart every minute of every hour and only being at peace and whole when she was with Cal.

The chaos of it didn’t suit her, the uncertainty either.

Ada had texted her earlier to let her know she would be out all night, so she found it odd to see light peeking out the room through the keyhole. Pepper spray ready, she opened the door.

“Kilorn?” Relief washed over her. “What are you doing  here ?”

Her friend was facing the window, his back turned to her.

“I used to think you had ulterior motives when you got so pushy about studying overnight, back when we were in high school. Like it was a long con that you were keeping to yourself because you didn’t trust me to keep quiet,” Kilorn chuckled. The slightly melancholic slur of his words gave away his  inebriated state. 

She did remember that. Kilorn would give her suspicious glances as they studied their eyeballs out in the public library and as she helped him with his homework while he had to work at that old, smelly fish shop. The only reason she remembered those excruciating days fondly was that it had all paid off in the end.

“And then I started thinking that maybe it was because you didn’t want to leave me. Hell, I didn’t want to be away from you either.” Mare did not like the way this was going. “I started believing— hoping that you liked me, but you hadn’t realized it yet.”

The world shifted off its axis and the room tilted at an odd angle. Kilorn  _ liked _ her? Since when? She wished to shove the truth back into his mouth and unhear it immediately.

He slowly turned to face her and Mare saw what he’d been holding: Cal’s crown. 

_ Shit. _

Cal had insisted she kept it after their tryst two days ago and she’d stupidly accepted. She should have thrown it into the trash as soon as she got to her room. 

“Guess the rumors are true then, you’re with Calore.” He wasn’t joking, or asking, his slouched figure oozed pure disappointment.

“I lost our bet,” she halfheartedly joked and dropped her shoes, then sat down on the foot of her bed. 

“Nah, I lost,” he sighed and sank on the mattress next to her, leaning his elbows over his knees. “You wouldn’t keep something like this”— he moved the crown so the fake gemstones caught the light — “if you didn’t really like the guy. Cause you do, right? Like him.”

Her exasperation at getting cornered made her skin feel itchy and warm. Mare scratched her neck. She wasn’t annoyed at him; she was annoyed at her feelings for being so fucking embarrassing.

“He’s...” _perfect, beautiful, the single most adorable human being she’d ever encountered._ She couldn’t find a world that wouldn’t hurt Kilorn. “He’s alright.”

“That’s what you’re going with, ok,” Kilorn smiled sadly, reading between the lines. He struggled with something, knitting his brow as if he didn’t want to say it. “Why him?” 

She asked herself the same thing. Welcome to the club. She couldn’t exactly say that meeting him felt, all the way down to her atoms, like fate.

“I have no clue,” she said with a shrug. Kilorn was slipping away from her, and her next admission was born out of a need to find a middle ground.

“And, since we’re being honest and shit. I used to think like you. That one day we would inevitably end up together, piss-poor and struggling to survive, living in a run-down apartment close to my parents' house.”

“We would’ve been happy,” Kilorn’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed the lump in his throat, green eyes fixed on the floor.

“We could have tried to be. But we weren’t meant to be that people”- she placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed - “even if I  _ do  _ love you and want you in my life always.” Her plea was small, yet true. It was all she had.

Would it be enough for him?

“ _ Meant to be _ ,” he repeated like there was something funny about it, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “I wondered if you were going to turn into one of  _ those _ people when you fell in love. You don’t know him and he barely knows you. He will never understand you or where you come from.”

“I don’t intend to marry the guy,” she flinched away from him, feeling a chasm open between them. “And he doesn’t even like me that much.”

“Then why _ him _ ?!” Kilorn staggered to his feet, hurt written all over his features. “We used to make fun of the girls that threw themselves at football players and I’ve watched you do just that, like the time at the  Hitze Manor party. What the fuck was that?”

One of the most humiliating moments of her life, that’s what. 

“Why are you bringing it up?” She clenched her teeth. Walls she’d never had to put up around herself when she was with Kilorn started to rise around her. “It doesn’t change who I am.”

“Calore is the heir to a billion-dollar empire, Mare. He’s not going to date the girl from The Stilts who worked her ass off to get here! Damn right he’s going to change you! He’ll want the prettied-up version.” He gestured to her body, still wrapped in silk, with the plastic crown still in his hand, his rejection of her image clear in his bloodshot eyes. “The one he can show off as an exotic prize. I would never do that.” His fist collided with his heart as he said it, filling the room with the hollow sound of his chest.

“That’s all wonderful. Thank you for letting me know how highly you think of me.” She clapped once and let out a dry laugh. “Did you ever consider that maybe there are things about me that you don’t know? You barge in every aspect of my life, why not my heart as well, right?”

“I love you just as you are.” He enunciated each syllable, face contorted with emotion, squeezing every bit of the love she knew he had for her in there. It broke her heart to feel how incompatible it was with her love for him. 

For better or for worse, the scared girl from The Stilts had died a long time ago. She’d died the night she bled all over the house of a man who showed her mercy and set her in an unstoppable course to where she was standing now.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be who I am anymore. I want to be better.”

“And Calore will help you with that,” he mocked her.

“Yes.” She disbelievingly exhaled, running a hand through her hair. “I’m afraid he’s the only one who can.”

Even if it ended tomorrow. That was the beauty of it. She’d spent so much of her life worried over saving her family and Kilorn, that she’d forgotten to see beyond.

Her friend looked like he was about to throw up. This was cutting the umbilical cord. It was breaking both of their hearts, shaping their friendship into a different form... if it wasn’t destroying it altogether. Mare hoped with every fiber of her being they still had one left. She couldn’t bear the idea of losing Kilorn. She couldn’t. 

Her dearest friend, her lifelong companion, let the crown drop to the floor and walked to the door on shaky legs. 

“By the way, forget about the bet.” His voice strained as he spoke parting words that stabbed her flesh and twisted in her gut. “Forget about everything.”


End file.
